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  #1  
July 14th, 2007, 11:46 AM
Candicemomof4's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 2,506
OK...I am 90% sure that I am going to home school starting next month. My mother told me I am going to ruin my children's life! She told my Dad who called to tell me "If I pull my children out off school he was going to kick my butt" LOL! My husband was slightly leary but when we took my daughter for her 1 year appt the other day I asked our pediatrician what her opinion of homeschooling was. She said 18 years ago when she started she thought it was strange,....but now following those children into adulthood she finds they are just as successful if not more so and happy....she has a positive view of it now...that totally eased hubby's mind....the rest of my family thinks its crazy! Do you receive a lot of opposition and if so how do you handle it?
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  #2  
July 14th, 2007, 12:17 PM
MissyPrincessEha's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Louisiana
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Well...My Eli is the proof that it works. I tell ya, your kids will speak loud and clear for you! I promise! You just have to give it time and do what is right by your kids and it will all work out. And anyway, it is okay if something you do is strange and abnormal to those you love. The bottom line is they do love you. They will see the proof in the pudding.

When Matthew and I started homeschooling our oldest in kinder we heard it all from my mother and sister. They did not approve. My mother felt as though she had done it wrong. And my sister didn't even have a kid yet. This used to hurt me so badly. But...we went for a visit recently and my heart was healed instantly. My mother said she wished she would have known about this wonderful thing called homeschooling, that it was possible, and she would have done it. My sister now has a one year old and she is all about the homeschooling thing.

I came home with a warmed heart and spirit. It was fantastic! We all talked about homeschooling and we still do. My advice is requested and respected even if they differ from their own.

You just have to be sure in your decision and why you are doing. Your reasons for doing this will change and grow. As you grow as a homeschooling mom and the children show the neat and special changes in themselves...your family will see it. I promise. They will be watching. You will hear comments that hurt and it will be hard at times. But you are a big girl and you are the mama. These kids were given to YOU, not your parents. Trust yourself to be a free adult with her own mind who can and will succeed.

When they get bad, just say "this is our choice", and then change the subject!
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  #3  
July 14th, 2007, 12:32 PM
Kangaroo510
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I am one of the first generation homeschoolers. I was homeschooled from k - 12th and I finished a year early. I am now 22 and I feel that homeschooling was the best choice my mom made for me. I went on to become an EMT and I'm now a wife and a mother. I feel like I am very well rounded when it comes to life. I may not be the most book smart but that's just not who I am. I do function very well in the world, I can keep a family running. I feel that homeschooling prepared me for the "real world" that everybody talks about. I don't think that homeschooling works for everybody but I think most people can make it work. Family will try to tell you what to do and not to do but ultimately it's up to YOU and what works best for YOUR family. Good luck to you! If you have any questions for a past homeschool student, feel free to ask!!
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  #4  
July 14th, 2007, 01:17 PM
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Join Date: Apr 2005
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Oh yeah, do I receive opposition...not quite as overt as yours though. My parents have the feeling that because I want to do something different they must have done something wrong in my opinion and that puts them on the defensive. BUT...the proof has been in the pudding. My four year old impresses them EVERYtime they see him. This last time, they were talking with him and DS was talking about police officers. They were floored that he knew the right name for them and talked respectfully of community workers in general. Most kids they come in contact with just call them the cops. Very simple things like that, that I don't think about really impress them.
They still say things like 'He'll be the smartest one in his class once he goes to school' but they won't openly talk about it with me or debate it with me. I guess they know its my choice regardless of how they feel. I think they are slowly turning around though. There have been less comments and wierd moments when I talk about Ds's schooling lately.

Bottom line, people in general don't like it when other people are different. It makes them question themselves- especially if it's family and they feel like you are doing this because they must have done something wrong. Point is, they are your kids, your responsibility and they really have no say in the matter. You do what you feel is best and they will hopefully come around. Until then, just keep swimming, swimming swimming, just keep swimming...
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  #5  
July 14th, 2007, 02:27 PM
Candicemomof4's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Thanks Ladies!

I am going to do it if that is what I choose regardless of what my parents and family think. I just wondered if others were as outspoken as my family. I was really floored by their reaction. I didn't think they would be excited but I sure didn't think it would get such a strong reaction. I tried to defend my decision then I told them I wasn't discussing it anymore and we should drop it...they just keep spewing their opinion whenever I talk to them LOL!
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  #6  
July 14th, 2007, 02:32 PM
joandsarah77's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Location: Australia
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Welcome to the board.
The ladies have given some excelent advice.
I havn't had any overt opisition for the last 6 months or so, so I think I am out of practice lol. I think if you show confidence (even if you are really feeling like a jelly) and keep discution cliped people soon realize it is not something to bring up with you. Doesn't mean they wont talk behind your back though! LOl. Dh says I get this steelly eye look, or this tone...I am politie really! He says I do it to tellemarketers on the phone too. Online there is a saying amoung some called "pass the bean dip" which means you say something like "This is our disition(new topic)" or "thankyou for your concern"(new topic)
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  #7  
July 14th, 2007, 02:56 PM
MissyPrincessEha's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Quote:
I havn't had any overt opisition for the last 6 months or so, so I think I am out of practice lol.[/b]
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  #8  
July 14th, 2007, 05:53 PM
Shery's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Luckily, my family has been very supportive, even my Dad, who I expected to go up against it. As for the community, we are also lucky in that because we have so many homeschoolers here. There is a huge homeschooling association and many children who have completed the journey who are very successful and "normal". I am very thankful that we are in an area where it is so accepted. I have a lot of respect for people who do it in spite of the fact that they don't have all of the support. Someone has to start it.....go for it!!!
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  #9  
July 15th, 2007, 04:37 AM
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My parents had my mum's parents telling them that they would ruin us, and that we wouldn't make it past maybe grade one at home, as we couldn't get a proper education at home. My grandmother was particularly insistent about this, and continued to say we would not make it until I finally graduated from grade twelve (though she did start keeping her mouth shut about it more than she did originally). When I finished my first year of college, she informed me that I had had an easier time of it, because I had had a better education than my older cousin ever could have. Go figure-- she is the same lady who while I was in grade 12 was still saying I wouldn't be able to get into a decent college or anything, because I was so lacking! She now totally 100% is in favour of homeschooling, as she has now seen that not only am I a happy, well-adjusted, and successful adult, but my sister is as well! She has remarked that it is too bad my aunt has to work, as homeschooling would be good for my younger cousin, and keeps saying things about how if so-and-so wasn't a single parent, or such-a-person were able to homeschool, then the kids would be doing so much better than they were.

We also had the school board very leery (the superintendent actually came to visit us on a regular basis just to see what we were up to!), the family doctor thought my parents were crazy, and every church my dad pastored had a discussion with our parents over whether this was a healthy alternative to public school or not!

Of course, this is all from the first real "generation" of homeschool grads (I'm now 23, so this was starting 18 years ago), as before my graduating homeschool class, there were very few who had homeschooled right through (I know of only four or five families who homschooled K-12 prior to the homeschool class of 2002). Homeschooling is better known by most people now, though my sister and I still find it entertaining when someone says "You were homeschooled? I would never have guessed! You're so.... NORMAL!" Yes... we are normal, and we enjoy being so. (LOL)
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  #10  
July 15th, 2007, 06:56 AM
Butter's Avatar Heather the Mama Duk
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Location: San Antonio TX
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Just ignore them or let them know politely but firmly that you are making the choices for your kids because you can since they are yours. Others opinions beyond yours, your husband's, and your kids' honestly don't matter. My family is very open to homeschooling since I was (though my brother and sister insist all homeschooled kids turn out "weird"), but Jamie's mom has been negative in the past but now she has changed her tune since it's working out so well.
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  #11  
July 15th, 2007, 10:22 AM
twiceinabluemoon's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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My Dad told me "You will ruin their lives" and has since gone on about how far behind they will fall each and every year. "If they fall just a little behind every year...."

We are not very settled in our lives right now. We live part time in one state and part time in another. My husband travels and this allows us to be with him. So my Dad is pushing for us to get settled before the school year starts so we can start them in school.

Our Bishop and Relief Society President (Church Leaders) have also both 'talked' with me about it.
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  #12  
July 16th, 2007, 04:31 AM
Mega Super Mommy
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Location: Hampton Roads, VA, USA
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Quote:
My Dad told me "You will ruin their lives" and has since gone on about how far behind they will fall each and every year. "If they fall just a little behind every year...."

We are not very settled in our lives right now. We live part time in one state and part time in another. My husband travels and this allows us to be with him. So my Dad is pushing for us to get settled before the school year starts so we can start them in school.

Our Bishop and Relief Society President (Church Leaders) have also both 'talked' with me about it.[/b]
Quite honestly, I would say that the living in two states is an excellent reason for you to homeschool! The kids need the time with their dad, and, the ability to take school with you, instead of being tied to a school for nine months makes it so much easier. I actually knew a family who's father took him across the country on a regular basis, so they lived in an RV, and travelled with him for all but about two months of the year! They're not going to fall behind so long as you keep up with what the state requirements are anyway (and most likely they will surpass the requirements).
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  #13  
July 16th, 2007, 05:15 AM
Regular
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 5
Here my 2 cents...Public School wasn't working for my child. Although we llive in a county that has an award winning school system, it was not enough to ensure my 2nd child's proper education. She wasn't gifted and she wasn't remedial, she was average and began to fall through the cracks because she didn't really qualify because her grades didn't reflect the fact that she needed help. She showed signs of a mild form of Dyslexia, I asked the teacher and school counselor about it. Of course I was given the standard answer of...we could test her, it would take 60 school days, but we don't really recognize dyslexia as a learning disability, however, we can test her symptoms.

Well not good enough. 60 school days put us at the end of the year and she would be even further behind. After much soul searching we took the leap. We were questioned by our friends and family. Most were very encouraging. Some were calling me crazy to want to be around my children for so long, but overwhelmingly I found much support and many stating they wished they had the same conviction so they could home school their children.

It is not easy, but it is worth it because I see the child I started all this for thriving and outperforming in areas she once had difficulty in.

So who cares about the critics, they don't pay your bills. You have to do what is best for your family.

www.thehomeschoolexchange.com
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  #14  
July 16th, 2007, 10:57 AM
pattyandthemoos's Avatar Administrator
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Location: Michigan
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I didn't read everyone's response but wanted to share my experience. When I started homeschooling my dh didn't support me or want us to homeschool. His parents and my parents didn't like it either so it was pretty much just me that wanted to do this. Dh let me homeschool the kids through kindergarten but he didn't like it and I just kind of kept stalling him. Now, guess what? He is my biggest supporter! He is the one I lean on when I get down. Fortunately, most of his family and mine don't live close by and only visit once every year or two so we just try to survive the visits from family.
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