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So close to throwing in the towel!


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  #1  
September 4th, 2007, 02:25 PM
Jenneve's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I really wanted to make this work, but I just don't know how we're going to make it through another year of this. Sadly, I'm referring to homeschooling. I don't want to quit, but we just started this term and I'm already tired. Jack constantly complains about having to "do school." All he cares about is playing! Justin is still young (5 next month) and of course he'd rather play. He wouldn't even start K in public school until next year; so, I'm not worried about him. Jared is the best one of them all. He shows genuine interest and actually likes the academic part of school more than the crafts. Jack is truely my biggest challenge, and honestly I don't feel like I'm up to it. I'm tired of arguing & fighting with him every day just to get him to give me a half-hearted attempt. I've done the best I can do at making sure his work is as fun as I can make it. I sit right there with him and help him. I try to include plenty of hands-on learning: crafts, games, activities, experiments, etc. He loves all of that. But when it's time to do any kind of seat work or writing or actual LEARNING, he bucks me the entire time. He just flat out doesn't want to do any kind of "work." He just wants the "fun" stuff. I'm tired of always being in a grumpy mood from having a hard day of school. I'm tired of doing school for 6+ hours a day. I'm tired of not having time to get all my housework & laundry done. I'm tired of not having time to do anything except school. When I'm not working with the kids on school, I'm planning for school. It's all I seem to do!
And I'm tired of my kids fighting and arguing with each other all day. They don't really have any other friends since we haven't met many other homeschoolers yet, and the ones we do know will never reply to my attempts to get together and let the kids play. The kids Jack knew in public school have more or less shunned him since he started homeschooling. So the only kids my kids have to play with are each other. When you're with each other 24/7 you start to need a break from each other. They don't even have any cousins their age!
No, I don't want them to go to public school. I don't want them to have to endure the crap that goes on there. I don't want them to be subjected to standardized tests. I DON'T want to have to deal with that school nurse again. I don't want to have to deal with 3-4 hours of homework every night. But I also don't want to spend every day griping at my kids because of school. Jacky (dh) is so close to making the decision to put them back in school. And I'm so close to agreeing with him. I hate admitting failure, but I really believe that I am failing at this job. I know there will always be difficult days, but our difficult days seem to be EVERY day. I don't know how much longer I can do it. I think I need to have a serious conversation with Jacky about it soon. I'm just having a hard time bringing my self to admitting defeat. Saying it here is one thing. Saying it out loud to my husband is something else. I don't know what our future in homeschooling looks like. At this point, not too good.
I just needed to vent out these feelings.
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Happy Homeschooling Mom to:
Jack 7/27/99
Jared 8/25/01
Justin 10/18/02

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  #2  
September 4th, 2007, 02:39 PM
Butter's Avatar Heather the Mama Duk
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I'm sorry it's so stressful right now. Have you tried putting Jack in charge of how much he does? Ani would fight being assigned a certain amount of book work. Then I changed to let her be in charge. In math for example, she has to do one page per day minimum, but she can do more. At first she'd do only one page and never more. Now she often does more and all I can figure is it's because I'm not making her. It's her choice. Make it clear that arguing will NOT help and whatever you do don't engage with him (easier said than done!). Also, for Ani when she was fighting a lot, she had to do her work before she could do anything else. It helped cure dawdling. Now we don't have that rule anymore because it's no longer necessary.
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  #3  
September 4th, 2007, 02:47 PM
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Talen is doing the same. Last week it took him 4 hours to complete one MUS sheet. No he wasn't sitting there the entire time but bc we had to eat lunch, go to karate, etc during that time it took him that long! I think he learned a lesson that day bc by the time he was finished it was dinner time, then bed. He was not happy but realized finally that he is stealing away his own play time. He still balks at having to do the stuff but gets it done much faster. I just walked away from him that day and told him he was to sit there until he finished. Worked wonders,
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  #4  
September 4th, 2007, 03:09 PM
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I'm so sorry you're so stressed out about this. I know that having day after day after day of strife can really wear a person out. I don't have any advice to add, although what the other girls said sounds like it would be worth a try. Maybe him having more control and reaping the rewards (or curses!) of his own actions would make things better. Then you can sort of "wash your hands" of how long school takes because it's pretty much all on him? I don't know...

Anyway, we're always here for a good rant and rave whenever you need it.
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  #5  
September 4th, 2007, 03:56 PM
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Girl..been there done that! I had to get TOUGH with Noah and since he's way older that worked.. we have little to no true issues anymore.. with Declan honestly I let him more or less tell me if he's ready..I fond mornings are the best to get him in a good mood to do anything..he knows if we starts something he has to finish but if after one MUS lesson he's getting ina mood we stop..there is no point in pushing him at 5.5.. we will slowly implement more and more rules and regulations as we need to as he gets older.. although I think he will alway sbe overall easier..now Jadziah will be my tough one..she is with everything.

The way I look at a lot of it is this.. on our worst days he still learns more at home, he's allowed to be himself, and having one or 2 or heck even 3 off days will not effect his total education.. where at school it sure could..because he would be labeled a bad kid, or lazy or worse.. and those labels are not welcome here!
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  #6  
September 4th, 2007, 04:02 PM
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Jenn!! I'm so sorry you are so stressed right now!! I agree with the other ladies. I would definitely try it before throwing in the towel. Maybe sit down with the boys and have a talk with them and layout their options. They may change their attitudes if they really don't want to go back to school.
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  #7  
September 4th, 2007, 04:22 PM
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I am so sorry your having such a hard time with things. Kids sure can be trying. If it were one of my kids doing that at age 7 I would first see if there was anything that I could change. I would look over what I was using and seeing if it was a good fit. So if it was writing that was a thorn I would see if instead of writing with a pencil we could do some of it orally or have them type on the computer. If it was maths then as Heather said just make it one page, or every second question if I felt it was being too repetitive with something he had already got. If that didn't help things and they were just being stubborn then at that point I think I would simply get mean. I would say it is table time and this is what is to be done, how long you take is up to you. But I would keep the workload lowish. Then I would let him sit there till it is done. If I knew he could do the work but was just dawdling then I would even say "You can have morning tea/lunch after that page is done" If you know he can do it in 20 minutes but he chooses to take 2 hours then so be it. I would just tell him and walk away. Sitting with him would be a reward for doing the work well only. There would be no tv, computer or any kind of fun and games until the seat work was done. I would try very hard to ignore the whining coming from that part of the table and go play something fun with the others.
I really hope things improve for you all.
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  #8  
September 4th, 2007, 08:27 PM
Shery's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I just wanted to let you know that I am thinking of you. I have felt everything that you said at one time or another. Just to night..since it was our first day back....I was remembering how it is to try to get housework done during school days. It is truely like having two jobs. I get up in the morning and do 6 hours or so of school with the kids. Then, I have to get my house stuff done....the big stuff like clothes and deep cleaning since we do our straightening before school. Then, when that is done, it is time to start dinner..then clean up from dinner...then get ready for the next school day.
Yes, it is hard, but being that I spent so many years on the other side of the fence...it is still preferrable. However, it is hard and stressful sometimes, especially when you have one that is struggling or just not wanting to participate.
"sigh"
I hope you come to a decision that makes everyone happy. Try to get through this tough spot before deciding. In the past, I have found that sometimes I feel like that for a few days if my hormones are raging, then suddenly, I am ready to do it again with a smile on my face.
We are here for you!!!
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  #9  
September 4th, 2007, 11:46 PM
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Ditto all of what the other ladies said. I know for myself, I hated doing the work in public school. There was ZERO motivation for me. Especially since I found I am really the type of person that loves to do things on my own. To go at my own pace and learn what and how much I wanted. My mom did set a basis, but I loved being in control of it. I didn't get that in school and it showed in my lack of enthusiasm for my education. Its so hard, I remember the hard times in my own home since we all learn so differently. I just wanted one-on-one attention (couldn't get that in school), but I only wanted it when I needed it and the rest I wanted to do on my own (also couldn't get that in ps). I hope you find something that works for you before you make a big decision. And don't think you are a failure! You are a good mom! There are many moms that would never do what you are trying to do for them. Try giving it a little more time, you never know what you could find. Another suggestion is maybe try finding some books on learning styles. Maybe you would be able to analyze just how your son learns and how to teach him the best. Anyway, good luck!
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  #10  
September 5th, 2007, 06:01 AM
Jenneve's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Thanks for all the support & suggestions. Sherrie, I do think alot of it is my hormones being out of whack right now. If they do end up going back to public school (which I REALLY don't want) it wouldn't be until next year anyway because I am NOT going to put Jack back in the care of the nurse at the school he'd be at right now. He'd be at a different school next year and the nurse is the wife of one of dh's friends. I know that homeschooling is really the best option. If Jack were to go back into the public school system, I know he'd fail miserably because he just can't learn that way. He can't be left on his own to do something because he can't stay focused. He needs constant nudging. That's one thing that's so tiring. I know he wouldn't get that nudging at public school, and they would probably try labeling him ADHD or something.
I'm going to try making myself be more organized (hopefully that will help). We sort of just jumped in and got started and I wasn't fully prepared. I also have a bad habit of trying to get things together on the fly. Well, I'm going to try to discipline myself to having everything for the week or 2 weeks or even a month ready at a time so that I can just pull out everything we need in just a couple of minutes. Hopefully then we can get started earlier & quicker and not feel like we're working all day long.
I have my lesson plans already laid out. It came with the curriculum. And they're great plans. But I have a bad habit of not reading over them in advance and I'm taken off guard with some of the things coming up in the week. I really need to make myself be more prepared.
I'm feeling a little better today, but still frazzled. I stayed up late last night getting everything together for the rest of this week, then realized that we need to get started very early to get anything done by lunch time because I have an appointment this afternoon (for that ultrasound). Ugh! But I refuse to totally skip the day!
Ok, well, it's 8am now, so I better go get those boys up so we can have breakfast & get started. I hope everyone has a great day today!
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Happy Homeschooling Mom to:
Jack 7/27/99
Jared 8/25/01
Justin 10/18/02

My blogs...
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  #11  
September 5th, 2007, 06:20 AM
Shery's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Hi Jenn,
I was so happy to see a note from you this morning. I have been thinking about you and wondering how you were doing.
You are right that the school will not be able to offer Jack the attention that he would need. Madison is just like him and suffered in the public school system. She was diagnosed with ADHD, and we did choose to medicate her because that was the only thing left to do. Her self esteem had taken a dive and we were working so hard just to keep her head above water. Now, with homeschooling, she is medication free...she asked to be taken off of it. Yes, there are hard moments with her that I don't experience with the other two, but at least we can deal with them without the worry of weekly tests and time restrictions. I am so thankful for homeschooling!!!
Yes, I agree that the more organized and on top of things I am, the better the day/week goes. I also have a habit of not looking ahead soon enough and getting caught by surprise with some of the hard things I have planned for the week. I have my plans made out for the year, but need to do my weekly sooner so I can plan ahead of time. Yep, these are the things that always hang over our heads, aren't they.
I'm so happy to see a note from you. I hope you are able to get some things done today before your appointment without stressing too much!
I am very PMS right now and struggling, but just keep telling myself that in a few days, I will feel GREAT!!! "sigh"
Hang in there...we are rooting for you!!!
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  #12  
September 5th, 2007, 12:16 PM
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Sorry to hear you're having a rough time. I think organization really can make a difference- at least it does for me. If I'm not prepared, the whole days goes badly and I end up in a very bad mood. Hope it gets better for you.
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  #13  
September 5th, 2007, 04:48 PM
Jenneve's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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This morning went surprisingly well. I had everything ready before breakfast; so, after we ate I cleaned up the dishes and jumped right in. I felt so prepared & together! Jared & Justin were done in less than an hour. They loved their lessons today. Something fun we're working on for the next few weeks: we put grapes (black seedless & green) on the window sill this morning and we'll be observing their changes daily while they are turning into raisins. Our lesson is /s/-/s/-sun. So we're learning about the letter S, the sun, & Jesus the light of the world. They think it's pretty cool.
With Jack, we didn't finish everything today (I didn't expect to) but we did get through handwriting, grammar, & math; all in a little over an hour! Usually it takes almost an hour per subject! He was on the ball today! I wanted to at least get through spelling, too, but I had to jump in the shower and get ready for my appointment. Oh, I feel so much more relaxed about it today. I hope it lasts. I guess sometimes I just need to vent my frustrations somewhere because I'm afraid if I let on to dh sometimes that I'm having a hard time, his solution is to put them back in school. I don't want that. Thanks again for all the support! You ladies are great!

Oh, and if you're interested in my ultrasound results, look for an update in that post. Going to post it now....
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Happy Homeschooling Mom to:
Jack 7/27/99
Jared 8/25/01
Justin 10/18/02

My blogs...
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Truely Scrumptious Cakes *UPDATED 7/28/09*

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  #14  
September 5th, 2007, 04:55 PM
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I'm glad things are going better for you, Jenn!! Believe me, we all have those days! That's the fun part of being a Momma!
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  #15  
September 5th, 2007, 05:00 PM
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Oh I was thinking about you all and hoping things went better! I hear ya about venting..we all need a "safe" place.. I can't vent to Dh much about certain things either so I totally understand!
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  #16  
September 5th, 2007, 06:08 PM
joandsarah77's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Glad you had a better day!
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  #17  
September 6th, 2007, 06:24 AM
Butter's Avatar Heather the Mama Duk
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I'm glad the day was better!
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  #18  
September 6th, 2007, 06:24 AM
Butter's Avatar Heather the Mama Duk
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I'm glad the day was better!
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~Heather, wife to Jamie (15 years; June 5, 1998) and mom to
Ani - 14 (February 15, 2000), Cameron - 12 (October 3, 2001),
Fritz - 7 (July 11, 2006), and Adrian - 5 (June 19, 2008)
Smaller on the Outside

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  #19  
September 6th, 2007, 07:04 PM
MissyPrincessEha's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I went through this...and this is what we did.

We changed up what we were doing...and I change it up to make it different ever so often. Eli hates doing things the same way all the time. I also have a start and stop time for our day. I refuse to school from morning till bedtime, which is what we were doing.

I also realize now that he is getting 100% more schooling even with the ups and downs then he would get with public. 3 hours of homeschooling is really worth a whole lot!

I also at one point gave the kids a chore list of 5 chores each. They did these for a week and them switched to another list. I would teach them how and they did it. The house was much better then.
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