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I don't know what to do..


Forum: Homeschooling

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  #1  
September 13th, 2007, 02:40 PM
Story's Avatar French Canadian
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Montréal
Posts: 2,693
Let's put it this way.
DF is a workaholic and reach for the perfection... and wants his DDs to be perfect as well..
Not really in behavior, but in school or anything they are doing (clean their room for example..)

We began kindergarten about a month ago... 5 - 10 minutes here and there during the day.
I've always read that each family decides their own schedule, and yes, maybe school is over at 2 pm if all the work is done..

But DF who has lost trust in me when it come to make things work in the house (I have a terrible memory and yes, I'm a bit lazy... but school is important and I never let it down...)
Anyway, DF oblige me to do school from 9 to 4, none-stop! Sure, park and stuff count for school but.....
I told him that homeschool doesn't really work that way... that's one of the good thing about it, the fact that it is not ALL DAY like public school.
More bearable for young kids. More fun, less stressing etc...
But he don't want to listen...
I don't know what to do, I want to homeschool because I think I can teach more to my kids with less time, less stress, etc..
But now, with the 9 to 4... what's all this about!?
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  #2  
September 13th, 2007, 03:33 PM
joandsarah77's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Australia
Posts: 5,547
Oh my, I don't know what to say. (((hugs))) Firstly what does DF stand for? lol I know DH and SO but not DF. Dear father? Sounds like he needs to realize he has a problem, and I am not kidding perfectionism IS a problem especially if you try and place it on others such as children. Has he researched or read about homeschooling? I am trying to think of a book or an article that addresses this...maybe 'Dumbing Us Down' by John Taylor Gatto would be helpful.
Schooling for K should be about 30 minutes to up to 2 hours long, if a long game or craft is being done. Most definitely not 9-4! That's even longer then ps! If my dh started 'suggesting' things like that I would be telling him just what was what! Heres a blog article that talks about length of the homeschooling day. http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/bbullard/298748/
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  #3  
September 13th, 2007, 05:15 PM
Story's Avatar French Canadian
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Montréal
Posts: 2,693
DF : Dear Fiancé

Quote:
I am not kidding perfectionism IS a problem especially if you try and place it on others such as children.[/b]
Yeah I know! I told him!
I want our kids to do their best too, of course but....
He has been raised by a military father.... seems like he is doing the same thing to his kids.

Quote:
Has he researched or read about homeschooling?[/b]
Nope, and when I told him to do some research, he said that he didn't care what everyone else were doing, he wanted to have it HIS way! ..
Darn...

And you know what's funny?
We were with friends and he said how much he liked the fact that in his job, he doesn't have strict schedule, as long as the job is done by the end of the week!..
I looked at him and said yeah? You like it? Does that make your job less stressful? more fun?
He said yes of course..
So I said right away that it was EXACTLY what I was planning to do with the school!
As long as the work is done on time, we don't need a tight schedule.
Sure I want to have a certain schedule, but softly, little by little..

I'm very afraid because he said (well.. maybe he said that only because he was angry) that if I'd take for example one tiny hour, ONE day (between 9 and 4 always) to play a video game or being here on JM, even if Nadjat is sleeping and Maèva is doing something on her own, that she will go to public school!...

Maybe with the time he will trust me more and more...
I hope so..
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  #4  
September 13th, 2007, 05:44 PM
joandsarah77's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Location: Australia
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Oh man, sorry but I would not accept being talked to that way. If that was my DF or DH we would be having a flaming row. How you raise children is such a large issue in marriage, I’d say second only to money issues. You really need to get some resolution to this before he becomes your dh.
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  #5  
September 13th, 2007, 05:54 PM
jhmomofmany's Avatar Look! A Dancing Banana!
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9-4 is a ridiculous long day for a homeschooled child. My middle schoolers do not put in more than 2-3 hours for a formal school day. I am so fortunate that my DH has always been very supportive and given me free-reign to do what I think is right with the children. I need to go find him and give him a hug! LOL!

Okay, a practical suggestion... You might try to find out what kind of schedule the kids in the local public kindergarten keep. There's even an "ask a teacher" forum here at JM that you might inquire at. You might even call a few private tutors and ask them how much one-on-one time they would recommend with an average kindergartener. Your DF might be more comfortable with the schedule you create if he sees it is based on the schedule of "real" () professionals. And *hopefully* as the years go on and your dd's progress, he will be more relaxed. The proof of the pudding is in the eating, as they say.

I hope you find a way to work it out.
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  #6  
September 13th, 2007, 07:17 PM
Butter's Avatar Heather the Mama Duk
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Location: San Antonio TX
Posts: 28,853
Well, I think kids are learning all the time... but I guess he doesn't see it that way. I don't know really what to do other than what has already been said.
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  #7  
September 14th, 2007, 09:09 AM
Story's Avatar French Canadian
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Montréal
Posts: 2,693
Thank you guys!..
I'll try to make him read the blog entry you linked Kitty-Cat.
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  #8  
September 14th, 2007, 11:53 AM
Platinum Supermommy
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I just want to offer my ((HUGS))!! I agree with what everyone else has said thus far. I hope you can get it worked out.
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