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Fear


Forum: Choosing Not to Vaccinate

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  #1  
October 3rd, 2010, 12:21 PM
KtKuKi's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 2,756
Is fear what motivates you not to vaccinate? Like fear of what your child may get from being vaccinated, such as Autism, seizures, asthma, diabetes, etc...?

My sister was in town this weekend (the one with the 7 month old twins) and we started discussing vaccines. First she picked up one of my books and was looking at it. I asked if she wanted to read it, and she said "no, I was just looking at the copyright date, and it is 2001, so it is almost 10 years old. Lots of new research has come out since then." She meant research showing vax's were safe, but I said yes, there is a lot more stuff showing they aren't safe. Basically when I first brought up not vaxing to her, she acted all interested and like she, too, questioned their safety, but after BIL spent the evening researching vaccines, he told her they ARE safe.

She tells me that either way-vax or no vax, people make their decision based on fear. Either they are afraid of what diseases their child might get, or they are afraid of Autism. She thinks the only issue w/vaccines is Autism, which just goes to show that she has not done any research. I told her that my decision was not based on fear at all. That I am confident in my decision and actually very calm about it. I told her that I am knowledgeable about how to treat vaccine preventable diseases(some of them) and that is how I am at peace with my decision. Then she says "well, I guess I just don't see the big deal b/c I have a fully vaxed 8 year old who is just fine" AHHHHH, I told her I hated that response. After going back and forth for a while, I felt like she was attacking me, but finally by the end of our conversation, I realized, that is was her feeling uneducated about what we were talking about. She is a smart person, but I think this is something she left up to her husband, so she had nothing to come back at me with, and felt like I was telling her she was a bad parent for vaccinating her children.

Every time we have the vaccine discussion she brings up this fear thing, which is more than likely her reason for vaccinating, and she just assumes it is everyone else's. After this weekend, I realized that I need to let it go. She has made her decision, and although I don't agree with it, I am never going to change her mind. I did tell her that I don't think people who don't vaccinate are not doing it out of fear, but I thought I'd post here, and see what everyone says....So, do you not vaccinate out of FEAR???
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  #2  
October 3rd, 2010, 05:44 PM
Mega Super Mommy
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Location: Crazytown
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I think there is a major difference between

Scenario 1: There's a commercial on TV, or an ad in the newspaper telling you that you or your children are at risk of dying if you dont' get vaccinated, and you go out and get vaccinated without a 2nd thought

Scenario 2: You heard about the vaccine controversy and you're scared to be uninformed in case you CAN suffer x,y or z because of a vaccine and you do more research calmly and intelligently and come to the decision to vax or not vax.

I think that you can be very educated on the topic and choose to vax, and you can be very educated and choose to not vax. When people weigh the benefits against the risks, calmly and after much research and soul-searching I don't think that decision is based on fear no matter which road they decide to travel. I personally didn't find the risks worth the benefits, but it wasn't fear that fueled my decision kwim?

So, NO... my decision isn't based on fear. It's based on common sense and logic, but that doesn't mean that I'm not fearful of ANYTHING! Good lord we're parents LOL
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  #3  
October 3rd, 2010, 07:08 PM
MommaNator's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Hmm. As a philosophical point, I suspect that fear or wariness motivates us in many ways. I believe it has been a big factor in our evolution: fear of the big lion, wariness of the meat that smells bad, fear of getting fired if we cuss out the boss. That doesn't mean that sheer terror drives our decisions, but in some ways, a little fear plays a role.

I'd have to agree with your sister that people vaccinate out of a fear of catching disease, and the consequences. People don't have to be terrified to get a vaccine, but fear plays a role, however small. My DD had a reaction after her 6 month vaccines that truly did terrify me; I stopped vaccinating her out of fear that the next time, it could be worse. Since then I have educated myself about the pros and cons of vaccines and the science behind them. I am confident in my decision, and knowledgeable on the subject. I don't walk around in abject terror, but fear played a role in the decision. I'm not blindly afraid of vaccines causing autism. In fact, the vaccines seem to have affected DD's speech, which is not what most people think of when they think of vaccines causing problems.

All of that said, I think I look at it differently than your sister; I got the impression that she thinks blind fear drives vaccination decisions.
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  #4  
October 3rd, 2010, 07:33 PM
KtKuKi's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2009
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I'm pretty sure fear is what motivates her to vaccinate, and she assumes it is everyone's reason. If she had read some non-vaxing books, and still decided she wanted to vax, I'd be perfectly fine with that. Honestly, I think she fears finding out more about vaccines and deciding she doesn't want to do them, and then not knowing how to handle her husband or her doctor. Therefore, it is just easier to not know. Ignorance is bliss, I suppose!
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  #5  
October 4th, 2010, 12:53 AM
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I agree wholeheartedly with the above....

And on the topic of your sister....I agree...it'd be easier to accept her decision knowing SHE had done the research...or at least supervised or listened and reread what her hubby read....so that they both were on the same page....I wouldn't blindly follow Josh without asking questions...without reading his sources...without knowing the facts for myself so in such a conversation I could stand up for our reasons....I wouldn't do that....but since she apparently HAS...I think you are right to let go...now all you can do is pray that she has vaccines injury free children and that she will respect your decision and know that you have your reasons and that fear isn't one of them!
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Martha
Momma to Emma, Elzie, Gretchen, Olive, and Rogan

We aren't to give a baby milk, berries, or peanut butter. We are to introduce new foods one at a time. But it's OK to inject several viruses, bacteria, aluminum, formaldehyde, phenoxyethanol, animal serum, mercury, squalene and more into an 8 week old? I don't think so.
In order to be healthy it is an unfortunate fact that people must be allowed the opportunity to be ill. I trust my body and those of my children to work correctly against the relatively benign diseases they vax for, and do not trust the ingredients in the vaccinations.
Our choice to not vax isn't based in ignorance, poverty, conspiracy theory and rumor. It's research, common sense, fact and evidence based..something the medical community has largely forgot about.
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