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Not sure where to begin....
I have 2 sons aged 12 and 14. For years all I wanted was to have another child, so I tried. After my sons I had 6 miscarriages, all early some natural and some with MA (with most of the losses I didnt even know I was pregnant until the loss began). After my 6th loss I decided that I was done trying and I would be perfectly happy having my two sons. In fact just a couple weeks ago I posted on another board that I decided that I was done. I made my decision based on my age, the age of my sons, and the feelings about my BF changing (been considering ending the relationship due to his cheating-thought I could forgive and forget, but that isnt happening). I had even planned to discuss my BC options at my annual visit on Aug 1st. Today a week after what I thought was a period I noticed some bloody discharge and thought no way could I be miscarrying again, I took at test and sure enough it was positive. Due to my history I had my HCG level checked this afternoon and I am sure will repeat it again on Wed. As I said I have a history of loss and completely expect that result again. For all the other attempts at pregnancy I worried what if I loss it? Now I worry, what if I dont? I know that is a HORRIBLE thing to think but I honestly got to the point that I dont want more children. I have been a single mom for over 7 years now....I DONT want to do that for 18 more years. I dont think I would resent a baby, but what if I do?
Obviously if I miscarry this will not be an issue but what if I dont? Can I be happy about the possiblity of another baby? If I miscarry or not I see a tubal ligation in my future....
__________________ Sandy-43 years young
BF-Ryan 38 Sons Noah 14 & Drew 16
Miracle baby Ella arrived Mar 22, 2013 7 losses at 4 to 7 weeks (feb 05, July 10, Oct 10, April 11, Oct 11 Feb 2012, Jan 2015)
No explanation for losses