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Hi everyone! Was wondering if anyone could offer any advice or share their stories with me.
I'm 26 years old, happily married, and have 4 children. My first three pregnancies were complicated -- preterm labor as early as 28 weeks, preterm rupture of membranes @ 32 (#3) and 34 (#2) weeks, preterm delivery @ 34 weeks (#2) -- but they were all born healthy and able to come home right away, and today they're all doing very well. In 2007 I lost a pregnancy at 6 weeks due to stress, my ex-husband and I had just split up and the divorce was very hard on me. But my last pregnancy was completely complication free and overall normal...I even went into labor on my own for the first time ever (the others were induced). She's almost a month old now and doing great! All births were vaginal with pain meds. Only one of the babies (#3) required fertility treatments (Clomid to stimulate ovulation -- Mirena IUD left me anovulatory), the others were all either a surprise or conceived the first cycle TTC. I do take anti-anxiety medication for an anxiety disorder I have, but it is safe during pregnancy, and I stop taking it for the first trimester for extra safety. Except for being slightly overweight (something I will be working on after my doctor clears me for physical activity again), I'm in really good health. My dh and I are undecided on if we're going to have another child, but if we do, it would be in about 3 years.
Given the above information, what kind of candidate would I make as a GS? Would an agency even consider me, or would I be better off going independently? Would it not be a good idea to risk multiples after 5 pregnancies/4 births? How long should one wait after giving birth to pursue surrogacy? What can be said to a spouse who's on the fence about the idea? What's the process for getting started?
I've always wanted to be a surrogate but thought my complicated pregnancies would prevent me from doing so, but after this last successful pregnancy and delivery, I'm thinking of looking further into it. Of course, I need my dh on board first, so that's what I'm focusing on now. But I'm interested in what all will come after that, if we really decide to do this. I love being a mother, and I just think it would be so amazing to help a childless couple have what I have.
I think it's awesome that you want to do help others, as someone who was on the receiving end I can't tell you the amount of joy that is brought by surrogacy. I will be honest though and say as an IM your prior pregnancy history would probably concern me, I know your last pregnancy was an easy one but the amount of money, time and emotion that goes into a surrogacy is a lot to risk anyway and when 3 out of 4 of your deliveries were early ones, that is a something any agency or future IPs will factor in. Not to say that a journey is out of reach though, I just definately do think you would have more luck going independently and having full disclosure with potential IPs.