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Opinion on surrogacy


Forum: Surrogate Mommies

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  #1  
March 14th, 2014, 07:36 AM
Newbie
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 4
i have shared my story already.
briefly: i've done hysterectomy and don't have children. my option is either to use the service of surrogate mother or adopt a child.
Wanted to start this thread to know your opinion, opinion of people who has tried surrogacy and those who would like to try!
what are pluses and minuses of surrogacy? is it better to try trough clinic or try to find the mother by yourself?
and if try through clinic what to do when this procedure is illegal where you live?
will you go abroad?
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  #2  
June 13th, 2014, 01:33 AM
Newbie
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 2
I am a surrogate so I can't speak exactly from where you are coming from but I have done a lot of research prior to becoming a surrogate. I think the plus of surrogacy is that the child is biologically yours, is that important to you? I personally would not try to do independent surrogacy because if something goes wrong legally you may be in big trouble as far as getting custody of your own child. Like I said I am a surrogate not an intended parents but I would never try it without an agency. As far as it being illegal where you live I think it has to do with the state the surrogate delivers in because I am from California and it doesn't seem to matter where the IP's are from just where I have the baby. Anyhow if you are looking for a gestational carrier message me and I will give you the name of the agency I work with they've been amazing.
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  #3  
June 5th, 2016, 10:42 AM
Member
Join Date: Apr 2016
Posts: 24
Hi dear! I had surrogacy a couple of years ago. I advise you not to look for surrogate mother by yourself. There are many fraudsters who pretend to be surrogates. They ask for money and then simply disappear. Speaking about agencies, same situation. It's better to contact clinics directly. Costs for surrogacy in our country are too high for us. That's why we decided to go abroad. Our main criteria were affordable price and high success rates. We considered Russia, but the fact, that they have a law, which says that surrogate mother is an actual mother, put us on guard. Who wants a stranger to take your baby away from you? Also there was an incident, when surrogate mother left child to herself and black mailed couple, it was in the news. That’s why we decided to concentrate on Ukraine and we never regret. We used clinic, which is called biotexcom. I liked that they have packages, which include all necessary services. So you pay single price and no more. The service was good enough. We were met at the airport by taxi driver. Also we were provided with accommodation and transportation. By the way clinic covers food supply. The clinic also provided us with English speaking manager. All these were included into our package. We didn't have to pay extra money. They have a website, where you can find all prices and terms. We paid 39 900 euros for everything. The clinic never asked to pay more. The clinic found her for us in 2 months after signing the contract. We didn't expect it will be so fast! I can't tell in words how happy we were after receiving such great news! The clinic provided us with help to prepare all documents. I had no idea where to go and how to organize everything right. They provided us with assistance in the Ukrainian civil registry office. We've got the child’s birth certificate there. And of course they helped us in getting a travel pass for our son. We have no complains at all!
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  #4  
June 22nd, 2016, 04:20 PM
Member
Join Date: Jun 2016
Posts: 13
I had surrogacy in Ukraine last year. I was born without an uterus. Sosurrogacy was our only option to have children. We couldn't afford to have thisprocedure in US or Greece prices there are too high for us. Unfortunately ourfamily faced scammer. Three years ago my dh and I decided to find sm byourselves. We thought the procedure will be cheaper in this way. We met withher and discussed everything. She seemed so kind and lovely person. After ourfirst payment she was gone. She didn't answer our phone calls or mails. It wasso hard to get back to search of another place to go. I was seeing deceptionand a dirty tricks everywhere. After our experience we decided not to contactagencies and especially search sm by ourselves. We were looking for reliableclinic with professional doctors and high rate of successful treatments. AsIndia was closed, we were choosing between Russia and Ukraine. Ultimately wechose Ukrainian clinic BioTexCom. Reviews were mostly positive and this clinichas high success rates. Though we had some doubts about their medicine, wedecided to go there and check everything. Our concerns faded away when we talkto our doctor and program coordinator. We saw fashionable design of the clinicand modern equipment. And the most important we saw so many couples there!People all over the world came to this clinic for surrogacy and de ivfprograms. I absolutely disagree that surrogate mothers here are not checkedproperly. In our clinic there were some requirements for women, who want tobecome surrogates. The surrogate mother must have at least one healthy child.She must be physically, emotionally and mentally healthy. Also she must bechecked for genetic diseases. Also the blood group is very important. Thesurrogate mother has to be under 35 years. Our doctor chose sm for us. Sheunderwent a lot of medical tests before the program. Moreover the pregnancy ofour sm was controlled at least once a month. Our daughter Kristine was born inMay last year. We celebrated her first birthday 2 weeks ago. We paid 49 900 euros for everything. Serviceswere on high level and the procedure was smooth. We have no regrets.
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  #5  
September 19th, 2016, 02:57 PM
Newbie
Join Date: Sep 2016
Posts: 5
My situation is almost the same. I had rupture of the uterus during the birth of my daughter. My dh and I think what to choose, surrogacy or adoption. Surrogacy is illegal in France so we're planning to go abroad if we choose this variant. Another problem is we know nothing about this procedure itself. At first we thought to find surrogate mother somewhere in the internet. There are lots of ads and propositions. Then we rejected this idea because of huge amount of scammers among those 'surrogates'. It would be great to go to India. I've read so many good stories about successful surrogacy procedures. India has pretty low prices and it's clinics take whole process under control. But as India doesn't accept foreigners any more, we keep our search. USA would be nice option except for prices for surrogacy. Also I've read many stories about problems and failures of some couples who had surrogacy in USA. What should I pay attention to in my search? I hope you'll help me in this.
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  #6  
September 28th, 2016, 07:40 AM
Member
Join Date: May 2016
Posts: 11
Quote:
Originally Posted by sandybeeA View Post
My situation is almost the same. I had rupture of the uterus during the birth of my daughter. My dh and I think what to choose, surrogacy or adoption. Surrogacy is illegal in France so we're planning to go abroad if we choose this variant. Another problem is we know nothing about this procedure itself. At first we thought to find surrogate mother somewhere in the internet. There are lots of ads and propositions. Then we rejected this idea because of huge amount of scammers among those 'surrogates'. It would be great to go to India. I've read so many good stories about successful surrogacy procedures. India has pretty low prices and it's clinics take whole process under control. But as India doesn't accept foreigners any more, we keep our search. USA would be nice option except for prices for surrogacy. Also I've read many stories about problems and failures of some couples who had surrogacy in USA. What should I pay attention to in my search? I hope you'll help me in this.
I'm not able to judge now if Ukraine is a good country for surrogacy or not. My path has only started. We chose biotexcom and now we are waiting for some good news from our manager. I can only say that the clinic we chose is very popular among infertile couples from all over the world. We saw people of different nations there, some of them came for de ivf, some for surrogacy programs. We saw many couples, who came for ultrasounds and deliveries. I think it's a good sign. Even though I'm nervous, but still I have some confidence in this place.

You were absolutely right that you changed your mind about looking for surrogate mother on your own. That's really bad idea. The number of agencies and clinics of reproductive medicine is growing with each year. Accordingly the number of scammers is growing as well. Those people pretend they want to help and use grief, despair and hopelessness of infertile couples. I've read so many stories of people who were trapped by them. It's so hard to believe again and continue fight after such deception. We decided not to risk and look for certified clinic. This way we won't have to overpay. We had 5 cycles of IVF and all of them failed. IVF pulled a lot of money from us. That's why we needed to find a clinic with good conditions and lower price.

Last edited by CarolineCH; September 28th, 2016 at 09:26 AM.
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  #7  
October 13th, 2016, 01:34 AM
Member
Join Date: Jun 2016
Posts: 13
Quote:
Originally Posted by sandybeeA View Post
My situation is almost the same. I had rupture of the uterus during the birth of my daughter. My dh and I think what to choose, surrogacy or adoption. Surrogacy is illegal in France so we're planning to go abroad if we choose this variant. Another problem is we know nothing about this procedure itself. At first we thought to find surrogate mother somewhere in the internet. There are lots of ads and propositions. Then we rejected this idea because of huge amount of scammers among those 'surrogates'. It would be great to go to India. I've read so many good stories about successful surrogacy procedures. India has pretty low prices and it's clinics take whole process under control. But as India doesn't accept foreigners any more, we keep our search. USA would be nice option except for prices for surrogacy. Also I've read many stories about problems and failures of some couples who had surrogacy in USA. What should I pay attention to in my search? I hope you'll help me in this.
I'm so sorry about your situation. It was really a very bad idea to look for sm in the internet. This is really hard to find good agency or clinic. There are so many scammers, who want to become rich, using poor people like us. There are even women, who pretend they want to be surrogates and then they get money and disappear. Unfortunately our family faced such woman. Three years ago my dh and I decided to find sm by ourselves. We thought the procedure will be cheaper in this way. We met with her and discussed everything. She seemed so kind and lovely person. After our first payment she was gone. She didn't answer our phone calls or mails. It was so hard to get back to search of another place to go. I was seeing deception and dirty tricks everywhere. After our experience we decided not to contact agencies and especially search sm by ourselves. We were looking for reliable clinic with professional doctors and high rate of successful treatments.

We decided to concentrate mostly on Europe. As India was closed, we were choosing between Russia and Ukraine. Ultimately we chose Ukrainian clinic. Reviews were mostly positive and this clinic has high success rates. Though we had some doubts about their medicine, we decided to go there and check everything. Our concerns faded away when we talk to our doctor and program coordinator. We saw fashionable design of the clinic and modern equipment. And the most important we saw so many couples there! People all over the world came to this clinic for surrogacy and de ivf programs. We have no regrets! We are so lucky we went straight to this clinic. Our daughter Kristine was born in May last year. Dear, I wish you all the best! I hope you'll become mother very soon!
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  #8  
October 28th, 2016, 02:04 AM
Newbie
Join Date: Oct 2016
Posts: 5
I think nowadays there is no urgent necessity to use agencies. It's much easier to find reliable clinic than agency. Personally I decided not to contact agencies because there are too many of them and at least half of them are fake. Number of couples who use surrogacy is growing with each year and some dishonest people make business on this. And other agencies use this fact to increase price for their services. There are so many stories of couples who faced fake agencies. Those poor people gave all money to receive help and hope and they've got nothing in result, only pain. What about those people who just have no money for another try? We decided not to risk. We are not rich people. That's why we want to find clinic, which will control the whole process. Clinic with high success rates and affordable price. We thought that Ukraine is perfect and suits us the most. Unfortunately we were very disappointed after we visited Ukrainian clinics.

Speaking about all-known here BioTexCom. This place is not for us. There were too many people. The clinic was overloaded and there were not enough employees to solve this problem. Lines were very long so we had to wait for hours to talk with the doctor. All staff was busy and it was hard to find someone who could answer our questions. There were no free seats. Many people were just standing for a really long time. It was really uncomfortable to be there! There were blacks everywhere! Not telling about all those chinese and indians and other rag-tag. We had to endure all that for 3 hours until there was finally our turn to talk with the doctor. To be honest there was no desire to stay there any longer. I recommend them to hire more employees and make separate hall for whites. In this case this clinic will gain more success.

Speaking about less popular Ukrainian clinics like Isida, Nadiya, Mother&Child, etc. Very calm places without lines and crowds. There was very affable staff. They kindly answered all our questions. We didn't have to wait in lines. Actually there were not many people. If to be more specific, there were no foreigners at all. That was strange. We are not sure if we can trust clinics without clients.

That's why we continue our search of reliable clinic. I will be very grateful if you advise us something.
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  #9  
October 28th, 2016, 02:18 AM
Member
Join Date: Apr 2016
Posts: 24
Quote:
Originally Posted by GorgeousQueen View Post
I think nowadays there is no urgent necessity to use agencies. It's much easier to find reliable clinic than agency. Personally I decided not to contact agencies because there are too many of them and at least half of them are fake. Number of couples who use surrogacy is growing with each year and some dishonest people make business on this. And other agencies use this fact to increase price for their services. There are so many stories of couples who faced fake agencies. Those poor people gave all money to receive help and hope and they've got nothing in result, only pain. What about those people who just have no money for another try? We decided not to risk. We are not rich people. That's why we want to find clinic, which will control the whole process. Clinic with high success rates and affordable price. We thought that Ukraine is perfect and suits us the most. Unfortunately we were very disappointed after we visited Ukrainian clinics.

Speaking about all-known here BioTexCom. This place is not for us. There were too many people. The clinic was overloaded and there were not enough employees to solve this problem. Lines were very long so we had to wait for hours to talk with the doctor. All staff was busy and it was hard to find someone who could answer our questions. There were no free seats. Many people were just standing for a really long time. It was really uncomfortable to be there! There were blacks everywhere! Not telling about all those chinese and indians and other rag-tag. We had to endure all that for 3 hours until there was finally our turn to talk with the doctor. To be honest there was no desire to stay there any longer. I recommend them to hire more employees and make separate hall for whites. In this case this clinic will gain more success.

Speaking about less popular Ukrainian clinics like Isida, Nadiya, Mother&Child, etc. Very calm places without lines and crowds. There was very affable staff. They kindly answered all our questions. We didn't have to wait in lines. Actually there were not many people. If to be more specific, there were no foreigners at all. That was strange. We are not sure if we can trust clinics without clients.

That's why we continue our search of reliable clinic. I will be very grateful if you advise us something.
I don't see anything wrong with lines. It is bad if people found good clinic which helps them to become parents? People go there not for nothing! Surrogacy is very expensive in our country and we couldn't afford it. We began to look for clinics abroad. We also didn't want to address agencies, because there are many fraudsters among them. We wanted to find clinic with the best doctors and, at the same time, affordable price. It turned out that this procedure is legal in Ukraine. I've read many reviews about Ukrainian clinics and medicine. So we took this chance. We went to BioTexCom for surrogacy procedure. Now we have a wonderful healthy boy. My husband and I are very happy and grateful. I've never regret about my choice. We also faced long lines and long waiting. I think it's not important at all, because now we have our son and we are happy parents. We decided to go to BioTexCom for our second baby. We've already appointed date of our meeting with the doctor. I'm ready to wait one more time, because I know this small inconvenience will pay off.
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