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Hi everybody! I'm Talia. Dh and I have four girls and have just started TTC another. 3 of my births were with a midwife at a hospital, my last one was with a family doctor at a hospital (I also had a midiwfe and a doula there, but the doctor was awesome). I've dreamt of having a home birth but dh was always too scared. I think he's finally coming around. After my last birth experience, he got to see that the doctor was one of a kind and I wouldn't find that again (we moved). So, he's more open to doing it my way.
Right now I think money is the main issue. They do have midwives here that deliver in a hospital, but it's in the city and that's at least an hour drive. This would be covered under insurance 100% after a $25 copay and when I deliver a hospital copay of $300.
There is a birthing center that is 45 minutes away. I would have to pay $300 up front for that and then there are no other costs.
Insurance coverage of a midwife is confusing. They said they only cover midwives that are a part of an OB/GYN office... well, those midwives don't do home births. Then they said if they weren't covered, it would be out of network. First we'd have to pay $650 and then add another 20% of the midwife fee. Most of the midwives are here charge about $4000. So, we're looking at $1320ish. Dh doesn't see where we have the money for that.
There is also a strong possibility that he will switch jobs in the middle of this and I have no clue what that will do to our healthcare. I know we'll be covered, but who knows if they'll pay for midwives or birthing centers and so on.
One of my questions for you ladies is how did you pick your midwife? What do you look for? And how do you convince dh it's worth the money?
With my last pregnancy I had pre-eclampsia and IUGR, it scares me that I could have it again this time. But, I really want a home birth!!
A lot of variables to consider there...but at least your insurance recognizes midwives and will pay *some* for an out-of-network midwife. We started saving for our home birth while TTC, since we knew it would be 100% out of pocket...but then, my midwife only charged $2000, plus the birth kit and pool. I guess it'll come down to what you *really* want - if it's a home birth, start planning now! I'm not much help on that one.
As for choosing a midwife...again, there are so few around here, that I nabbed the first one I came across. Luckily for me, she was wonderful. If there are plenty to choose from in your area, maybe go to Mothering.com, find your "tribe" and ask for recommendations? Or look for a local midwife/doula/home birth Yahoo group - I found a few that I didn't know about here through a Yahoo group. You might want to schedule interviews with a few - especially to discuss your history of pre-e and IUGR. You'll want to see how she reacts to that (is she calm or uptight, optimistic or pessimistic), find out how she would monitor for those things, and what would happen if they became issues again.
Convincing DH was easy for me. I had done my homework and decided that home birth was the way to go...so I told him that we could pay a midwife or go unassisted. He put away the first bit of money that night.
Hope you'll hang around here, Talia! There are some great ladies around here that really know their stuff and don't mind answering questions. And I can't wait to hear that #5 is on the way!
mom to Rachael, 9 ~ Milly, 5 ~ foster mom to R, 1
I have contacted a few midwives in the area. I have come across two types: the very laid back, lets do everything with herbs (and I'm a very picky eater/drinker, so I'm not sure how well that would work for me) and no tests are needed (I'm all for that) and the more agressive "if bp is up more than once, you go to the OB" and "I require all regular tests" (hate needles, faint with needles).
I would like to find someone in the middle of that.
Dh has actually said why bother having anyone at all, lets just do it ourselves, but I'm not sure I'm up for that. He's like "we can go to the hospital after" and I said "I don't want to be in the hospital at all!"
In the middle of those is really a great place to be...that's how my m/w was. She didn't *require* anything, but let me pick and choose which tests I wanted done. She gave me the pros and cons and trusted that I'd make the best decision for me and my baby...and I think *most* midwives that do home births would do pretty much the same? The only needles I had were to check my iron and blood sugar, and even then, she only strongly recommended checking iron.
Oh my goodness, WHY on earth would you go to the hospital after an unassisted birth (assuming all was okay, of course?) You're right, the point is to avoid that place!
mom to Rachael, 9 ~ Milly, 5 ~ foster mom to R, 1