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  #1  
July 30th, 2008, 07:37 PM
Mother
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I'm at a loss right now. I have been worried sick since the moment I woke up this morning trying to figure out a solution. Why do things have to be so difficult? Why does it have to be so difficult to have what you want for your birth? Here is my situation:

Thread on AP Board

Advice is welcome. I'm just at a loss right now DH calmed me down by telling me not to worry. It's still early and we have plenty of time to find the right person for us. I just wanted to have a happy easy pregnancy. I didn't want to have to "deal" with the stress of the unknown, I wanted a set plan!

Life throws curve balls, so I need to just deal with that. Just wanted to vent.
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  #2  
July 31st, 2008, 08:29 AM
LaLa's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 11,576
Hmm, I' m not sure what to say.

Heres my take though ( on the whole thing).

1) her response to your request:
The financial aspect - I assume what she is referring to is this: when a MW has an assistant or backup, the head mw usually pays them. for backups & assistants, this pya is USUALLY minimal. Asking the person who is usually the MAIN mw to be backup or be there "just in case" is kind of tricky - will she be responsible for paying the other MW? Will you? Will the other MW even agree? Most of them will not for licensing reasons. Many of them KNOW that other MWs practice unlicesned, but to attend a birth where this is the case and shes simply backup, would be risking her own license professionally. I really don't think shes disappointed, but probably perplexed as to how to handle it. The equivalent woudl be asking your boss to assist you. And while Mountain would probably love to do whatever you want b/c its your birth, I can see where she might be a little confused as to how to handle it & she wants to wait & see what hte other midwife says - at least out of respect to the other midwife. I wouldnt expect HER to ask the other MW to assist or back her up.

2) Now, with that said, I do realize that most of the stuff requires licensure to purchase, but at the same time - many unlicensed MWs do carry these things. Is she going to "unofficially" have them? What is HER backup plan? Does she simply transport earlier in the game if things sstart looking a little iffy than a MW with those supplies on hand would? Truth be told, there are extremely few things that simply fall out of the sky in labor. Babies dont go from fine to dead in 2.2 seconds, and neither do mothers, and if by chance they did - few things can save a situation like that even in a hospital. Typically there is a slow & steady decline, even if its hard to pick up on (which is Why MW's check things so frequently without being intrusive). heartrates get checked and monitored & most of them are very cautious & take action to correct things immediately & only then if those things dont correct the situation do they start talking transport. If the baby's heart rate was acting funny, etc - theyll usually try different positions, and if they have oxygen may try that too. Oxygen is readily available, so there shouldnt be a reason why that cant be on hand or at least within reasonable reach. Is the other MWs office nearby? Is she willing to loan equipment? Could your MW cross state lines to obtain these things? What i fyou obtained them? Our unlicensed lay MW obtains them all by ordering online & from out of state (including pitocin).

I would talk a bit more openly to Mountain about WHY youre requesting these things & if she has any suggestiosn for solutions to ease your concern over these things. but, unfortunately, just b/c of the logistics, I think it will be unlikely (though not impossible) that the other MW will serve as a backup & second in attendance for an unlicensed lay midwife, even if they work together but the other way around.

BTW, I used a lay unlicensed MW for my second - though we had the option of a licensed midwife. The lay midwife served as an assistant frequently to the licensed MW. But - the licensed MW said she KNEW our MW practiced, supported it, and supported womens rights to have unlicensed mw's, but for the RECORD, she couldnt OFFICIALLY know that we were using her. As far as she was concerned, she knew nothing of it officially. So... see how the logistics of attneding such a birth might be very risky for her professionally? Not to mention, shes not going to commit to a birth and not get paid when her livelihood depends on it, nor will she be (and nor should she be) expected to be paid what an assistant would be paid for blocking that time out of her schedule (she likely only takes on x # of clients per month or week, so that woudl be one client shes taking for far less $ than she normally would).

Just wanted to mention those things b/c theyre not always things folks realize. MWs get paid far less & have far less profit than OBs, and part of that is b/c they take a fraction fo the clients so they can be in attendance for the full labor/birth (or as much of it as possible).

I would suggest talking to the main MW as well - and see what her take is. Definitely keep us posted

Lala...
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  #3  
July 31st, 2008, 05:16 PM
Mother
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Quote:
1) her response to your request:
The financial aspect - I assume what she is referring to is this: when a MW has an assistant or backup, the head mw usually pays them. for backups & assistants, this pya is USUALLY minimal. Asking the person who is usually the MAIN mw to be backup or be there "just in case" is kind of tricky - will she be responsible for paying the other MW? Will you?[/b]
Ah, I didn't see it that way. I assumed I would pay them both in full. Mountain has two assistants that she pays on her own (or they do it for free, idk) but I know I have to pay Suzanne.

Quote:
Will the other MW even agree? Most of them will not for licensing reasons. Many of them KNOW that other MWs practice unlicesned, but to attend a birth where this is the case and shes simply backup, would be risking her own license professionally.[/b]
Suzanne does work with other MW's and she has helped out Mountain before, but not like how I'm asking, so I'm not sure. I've yet to email Suzanne because Josh convinced me to just chill for a bit and relax and not stress at the moment. We want some more time to think things through.

Quote:
I wouldnt expect HER to ask the other MW to assist or back her up.[/b]
Oh absolutely, I wouldn't expect her to ask Suzanne either! I'd be doing that

Quote:
2) Now, with that said, I do realize that most of the stuff requires licensure to purchase, but at the same time - many unlicensed MWs do carry these things.[/b]
The only thing she brings with her is a doppler, a nose sucker thing (if it's needed) and five hemostats. She has herbs and whatnot as well. But this is it.
Quote:
Is she going to "unofficially" have them? What is HER backup plan? Does she simply transport earlier in the game if things sstart looking a little iffy than a MW with those supplies on hand would? Truth be told, there are extremely few things that simply fall out of the sky in labor. Babies dont go from fine to dead in 2.2 seconds, and neither do mothers, and if by chance they did - few things can save a situation like that even in a hospital. Typically there is a slow & steady decline, even if its hard to pick up on (which is Why MW's check things so frequently without being intrusive). heartrates get checked and monitored & most of them are very cautious & take action to correct things immediately & only then if those things dont correct the situation do they start talking transport. If the baby's heart rate was acting funny, etc - theyll usually try different positions, and if they have oxygen may try that too.[/b]
She has only done 20 births on her own (with her assistants) and she has transferred two patients. One was a mom who was hemorrhaging (Suzanne came and helped in the meantime while transportation was awaiting), and the other was a baby who was breathy very fast for 24 hours (like hyperventilating).
Quote:
Oxygen is readily available, so there shouldn't be a reason why that cant be on hand or at least within reasonable reach. Is the other MWs office nearby? Is she willing to loan equipment? Could your MW cross state lines to obtain these things? What i fyou obtained them? Our unlicensed lay MW obtains them all by ordering online & from out of state (including pitocin).[/b]
Honestly, she doesn't have them because she sees no need for them at all. I have done my research on homebirths, but I also value taking precautions for those rare circumstances.


Quote:
I would talk a bit more openly to Mountain about WHY youre requesting these things & if she has any suggestiosn for solutions to ease your concern over these things. but, unfortunately, just b/c of the logistics, I think it will be unlikely (though not impossible) that the other MW will serve as a backup & second in attendance for an unlicensed lay midwife, even if they work together but the other way around.

BTW, I used a lay unlicensed MW for my second - though we had the option of a licensed midwife. The lay midwife served as an assistant frequently to the licensed MW. But - the licensed MW said she KNEW our MW practiced, supported it, and supported womens rights to have unlicensed mw's, but for the RECORD, she couldnt OFFICIALLY know that we were using her. As far as she was concerned, she knew nothing of it officially. So... see how the logistics of attneding such a birth might be very risky for her professionally? Not to mention, shes not going to commit to a birth and not get paid when her livelihood depends on it, nor will she be (and nor should she be) expected to be paid what an assistant would be paid for blocking that time out of her schedule (she likely only takes on x # of clients per month or week, so that woudl be one client shes taking for far less $ than she normally would).

Just wanted to mention those things b/c theyre not always things folks realize. MWs get paid far less & have far less profit than OBs, and part of that is b/c they take a fraction fo the clients so they can be in attendance for the full labor/birth (or as much of it as possible).

I would suggest talking to the main MW as well - and see what her take is. Definitely keep us posted

Lala...[/b]
This is something that really tires me. I feel like I'm always fighting to have what I know is right in my heart and it's exhausting. Sometimes I even think I'll just go with the OB and Hospital (not literally, just a fleeting thought) so I don't have to deal with all the complications of wanting to have the birth I want. It's really exhausting and disheartening for me.

I really hope the two would be willing to work together, I want them both there, but I have the feeling I'll be going with Suzanne.


And ty LaLa
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  #4  
August 6th, 2008, 06:11 PM
Mother
Guest
Posts: n/a
My MW's "mama midwife" (as she calls it) would like to attend my birth. She was a MW for 25 years before the state of MO threatened to throw her in jail. She's been getting back into midwifery and want to attend one of my MW's births and my MW asked me (since she knows I want someone there with more experience). I'm really happy.

I'll have Mountain (who is new/has only done 20 births so far) who I really connect with on a personal level, and her MW that she apprenticed with (who has the experience I'm wanting) and Mountain's two assistants. This makes me feel much more at ease and happy. Now I'm excited about my homebirth again and have no more anxiety!!!
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  #5  
August 6th, 2008, 06:31 PM
inyourhonor's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Metro Detroit
Posts: 17,591
I'm so glad it has worked out for you! That is wonderful news
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  #6  
August 6th, 2008, 11:54 PM
soImarriedAnerd's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Depends on the day....Earth :D
Posts: 28,954
Great news!
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  #7  
August 8th, 2008, 08:38 AM
Nature Lovin Mama
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Thanks! I'm very excited
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