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Would love a home birth


Forum: Home Birth

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  #1  
September 4th, 2008, 10:21 AM
~Mindy~'s Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Hi everyone! I've always wanted to have a home birth. I've never been able to get DH on board with the idea. With my three previous pregnancies I was induced at the insistence of my doctors. This time I would really like to let things happen naturally and without medical interventions.

So, problem number one is convincing DH. Problem number 2, there are absolutely no midwifes or doulas anywhere near me, so I would have to have an unassisted birth. And if I told my doctor I was planning a homebirth she would probably have a heart attack and try to admit me to the hospital right then and there.

Has anyone else faced any of these challenges and how did you deal with them?
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  #2  
September 4th, 2008, 10:52 AM
thepinkleprechaun's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Well...my SO is pretty laid back about the whole home birth thing, so I don't have that problem. But I live in GA and midwifery here is technically illegal so you really have to search around for a midwife if you want a home birth. I know there is one birth center in Savannah but they must be CNMs or something, otherwise you have to go to South Carolina.

What resources have you used to look for a midwife? Where do you live? Maybe I can help or someone else on this board, I had to do countless hours of searching online before I really even got close, and then I only actually found my midwife through word of mouth.

And as far as your DH goes, if you DO find a midwife they will usually do a free consultation with both of you as a couple to discuss your wants/needs/feelings about natural birth and home birth, so that might make him feel better you never know!
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  #3  
September 5th, 2008, 07:31 AM
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I agree, there is probably a midwife closer than you think, but may not be publicly advertising herself. Get in touch with local homebirthers (I know that can be trickier than it sounds) if you can to find out who they use.
If all else fails, what about a hospital based midwife or a birthing center?

As for the husband thing, leave some reading material about homebirths laying around. And once you find a midwife, ask him to go with you for a consultation. He can get answers to his concerns and questions and hopefully ease his fears about homebirth or midwife assisted birth.

Good luck!
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  #4  
September 5th, 2008, 01:24 PM
Isaeph's Avatar Jennifer the Momma
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My husband was totally not on board with hb either until I went to him crying at 35 weeks telling him how much I wanted to have dd at home (unassisted). He's really proud that he did now and he'd totally on board for this time. Of course I researched the heck out of it, so I could answer all of his questions.

If you don't manage to talk him into it, REFUSE everything you don't want at the hospital. If they schedule and induction, don't show up. That's what I would do.
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  #5  
September 5th, 2008, 01:40 PM
inyourhonor's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Quote:
My husband was totally not on board with hb either until I went to him crying at 35 weeks telling him how much I wanted to have dd at home (unassisted). He's really proud that he did now and he'd totally on board for this time. Of course I researched the heck out of it, so I could answer all of his questions.

If you don't manage to talk him into it, REFUSE everything you don't want at the hospital. If they schedule and induction, don't show up. That's what I would do.[/b]
My husband wasn't on board. It took me having him watch The Business of being Born, crying several times through it to finally get him to listen to me. From there, after telling him how I felt about my sons birth, how it took me months to connect with him and how bitter I was, he finally sat and heard me.

I told him I didn't trust hospitals after what they put me through. I didn't feel like my son was mine for the first few months of his life, I didn't get the right away connection I needed and wanted. He said, make an appointment with the home birth midwife but keep the appointment with the CPM through the hospital. We met with the HB midwife first as a consultation. He asked her a million questions, discussed his fears and she sat, listened and when she answered, she was very very informative and in detail. When we left, he told me to get on the phone and cancel with the CPM. He felt more comfortable now discussing it with our midwife and was on board.

If he still isn't on board, like Jennifer said, refuse everything you do not want at the hospital. They can NOT make you do any of it. Good luck and let us know how it goes.


edited for spelling
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  #6  
September 5th, 2008, 02:14 PM
~Mindy~'s Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Thanks for all your replies! We're in WV, about an hour from Pittsburgh. I know there are plenty of midwifes in the Pittsburgh area, but right now because of DH's work schedule and the cost of gas to drive an hour each way that's just not an option. We would need someone close and so far I haven't been able to find anyone.

I did have a talk with DH this week about how I felt about all the interventions that I had to go through at the hospital and how I really just want to let my do body do what it naturally knows how to do to birth this baby. He totally agreed with my reasoning and supported me, but is still completely against an unassisted home birth. He wants me to have the baby in the hospital and just refuse the iv and monitoring, etc. I don't want to go through that because I know it will turn the birth into a stressful experience having to argue with my doctor, she is the type of person to force an issue, and even do things without telling me or getting my consent. She delivered my last baby, and broke my water without telling me she was going to. She just put me in stirrups and said she wanted to take and look and see what was going on, next thing I know she had broke my water.
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  #7  
September 5th, 2008, 02:43 PM
inyourhonor's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I think its time you find a new doctor.
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  #8  
September 5th, 2008, 02:48 PM
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Definitely. And see if any midwives attend births at your hospital. You will have a much better experience that way.
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  #9  
September 5th, 2008, 04:11 PM
thepinkleprechaun's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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You know what, you should totally call one or two of the midwives in the Pitt area! I bet they might be able to give you some names or at least point you in the right direction of midwives closer to you.

The closest one I could find was in Atlanta, which is about 2 hours away from us. She does come to Augusta once a month, but I was still kind of nervous about her being so far away. Turns out though, that the midwife she trained who is about to finish her apprenticeship lives only 8 miles away from me!

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  #10  
September 5th, 2008, 10:27 PM
LaLa's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I would call the MWs an hour from you - my MW was 2 hours from me - we met half way & there are a lot of MWs that will come to you for even your prenatals. Its the beauty of a homebirthing MW

Youll probably be pleasantly surprised & chances are when your DH meets the MW face to face & airs his concerns, and she addresses them personally, it will ease his concerns. My DH went from anti-birthing center even to pro-homebirth

Lala...
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  #11  
September 6th, 2008, 04:09 PM
Melui's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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my husband was the same. very anti home birth. But I got him to come when the midwife came to my home to discuss the possability with us and he asked lots of questions and then said he was happy to go along with it.
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  #12  
September 8th, 2008, 10:25 PM
whodatmama's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Jumping out of lurkerdom to add something....My midwife lives an hour and a half from me. She will drive to me when I go into labor. You may very well be able to find someone who is willing to take you on as a patient. Don't give up mama! I almost gave up, but continued to search and boy I'm glad I did! Have your dh watch the business of being born and then discuss the hb option with him. Good luck! I am pulling for you!
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