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So yes I had a UC with my second child. I loved it. I really did.
But I want a midwife.
I have seen things as an apprentice that I don't want to handle on my own *if* they happened. *sigh*
I think it just horrible that I will have to push heaven and earth to find one and then I will be driving forever and a day to get to one.
It just stinks! That even when I am done with my training I will still be midwifeless! Makes me want to cry.
I have lost half of the weight I wanted to lose before my hernia surgery. I am halfway there! And then a small surgery and I can have a new baby. But the birth place has me in knots!
I guess I just want some support for what I feel is a hopeless situation.
I know a sweet doctor...but I don't want to be in the hospital if I can help it! She would be great. But then fighting to keep my baby with me isn't something I want to do! I want to have my babymoon! I want to cry!
I know in my mind that it will all work out. But I feel like crying about it today.
"I am a midwife. It is not just what I do, it is what I am, and I grow in it."