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So, dh and I are ttc. We had a long talk last night and I told him flat out... if/when we get pregnant one of two things are GOING to happen. Either he will learn every aspect of labor and delivery and turn into the biggest alpha male wolf protector if I have to have a hospital birth... he will know exactly what I will and won't tolerate and he WILL defend my decision -or- we will be having a homebirth. We actually talked about it for more than an hour. His main concern was whether or not it was legal, whether or not we'd have to pay out of pocket to have someone here and how he would handle another delivery (he didn't do too well with the toddlers births, he's afraid of leaving me without anyone to support me if he had the same reaction this time). I told him a big part of the problem was lack of education in the birth process (and quite honeslty, I was an EMT and if I was observing my birth with Sami, I probably would have been entirely grossed out and need to take a seat.... STRONG fetal ejection with a LOT of meconium stained fluid behind her... once she was out I sort of... well... exploded across the room LOL).
So... today I go talk to Tricare and while I got a funny look and a good hearted "I could never do that" (from a man lol) I did find out that there is a local midwife that WILL do home births....and.... Tricare will pay for it! How fortunate is that? Granted, I did tell dh that at the very least I would get a doula to help us out during delivery...mostly to give dh a break in case he was feeling a little out of sorts... or if the girls needed daddy during a time that I am concentrating on other things.
Needless to say, we're still waiting on the getting pregnant part, but I am relieved to know that as of right now, I don't have to worry quite as much about having to endure another tied down L&D.
I'm glad that you have less to worry about now. I'm really excited about the thought of a homebirth myself. I've wanted this for a long time and now I just have to manage to get pregnant! lol DH is somewhat behind me. He still wishes I would do the first one at a birthing center, but I think I can sway him. lol
I hope you can get your dh more excited about hb. The first few times I tried to talk to him about it, he adimantly shot me down. He wouldn't even discuss it, so I was seriously surprised when we actually discussed it.
For us, the closest birth center is more than 50 miles away and I've not heard a lot of promising things about the local hospitals so for me, this is begining to feel like my only option for a 'normal' birth.
It took me a long time to get my husband to warm up to the idea. Our first was born by "emergency" c-section so I was very bitter towards hospitals. He came around after meeting our midwife and we just had a successful HBAC on the 28th of Nov
That is great Tricare will cover it! That was the hardest part for us, paying out of pocket. Medicaid won't cover it in my state and my husbands job doesn't offer insurance so we did a lot of saving up to pay for it.
Good luck with everything and I know you're pregnant now because of your post in the expecting mamas thread! Now just go to the due date list and I'll add you asap!
Marisa (29) married to J (34), mama to G (9), D (6), B (4) and K (1).