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I don't know if this is an issue for anyone else, but I really don't think I want my mw's apprentice near me at my birth. She's nice and all, but she is about my age (mid 20's) and has no children of her own. I find it hard for her to add anything to my experience if she hasn't even been there herself. She still seems like she struggles during my appts with some of the basics like fundal measurements, and at my appt yesterday, she only got the baby's hb at 122 with the doppler. That didn't sound right to me at all and is much lower than the hb usually is. I realize the baby could be napping but wanted to check it myself. I went home and used my borrowed doppler, and picked up the hb in the 140-150 range, where it has been for the rest of my pregnancy. I can just see myself sending her downstairs and away from me while I am in labor, and I think I might find her presence distracting in a bad way. I certainly wouldn't let her do any vaginal exams on me. Can I talk to my mw about this? It isn't really anything against the apprentice personally, and I have a hard time justifying my feelings, but in my gut I just feel funky towards her. Anyone else have this issue with an apprentice or partner of their mw?
I know what you mean, I didn't mind my initial midwife, but I hated her partner! She was really pushy, made all kinds of comments about my kids being so close together and asked if I was even excited about this baby since it's my third and so close to my others. Plus she treated me like a criminal for even debating taking extra testing (for birth defects and STD's)much less when I declined them! Plus her bedside manner was horrible, through my whole pap smear she was complaining about how far back my cervix was and told me she was going to use the "big" speculum since I've "had a bunch of kids" so I'm "probably all stretched out", and then told me that it was a good thing I was getting the pap now because my cervix looked weird and its good to "catch things like cervical cancer early" (and my pap came back completely normal)
I was so uncomfortable with the thought of her at my birth (thinking about how I would end up killing her! ) that I ended up switching midwives.
This time I really like the midwife I've met so far, I haven't met her partner yet, but this time I'm stuck with them, so I hope it's better than last time. I'm not switching again.
Aww I'm sorry i'd talk to her, cause its important for you to be comfortable at your birth, cause it's your experience. Good luck!!!
I forunately didn't have that problem. My MWs apprentice is awesome. Has 3 kids all were homebirths and is a massage therapist (which was awesome during labor ) She had the same beliefs/opinions as us on on the typical birth/baby tests/issues so no problems there. She helped give me some tips on what to expect with breastfeeding and after pains, since she experienced it all 3 times, I knew I could listen to her. She did more of the *checking/work* than my MW (she's prego too) which was fine with me. She showed me how/where to push, which helped tons since she knew where/how too, where as my MW is prego with her first. I know she needed to get her experience/training in too so she helped me and we helped her
My midwifes apprentice was sweet. I liked her. I was iffy of her during our pregnancy but I knew she was learning and wouldn't be doing the actual delivering alone. So, I let her learn on me! She was also the biggest help during my labor, she helped Jason put pressure on my back and rub my legs/butt when it started to go numb.
I agree with Lindsay, talk to her. You need to be comfortable during your labor and birth!
Marisa (29) married to J (34), mama to G (9), D (6), B (4) and K (1).
oh my gosh! I soooo know what you mean! My midwife for the last baby had an assistant (one of several) that I REALLY didn't like for the same reasons. And of course the day I went into labor SHE was the assistant that got called in.
since I was only there a grand total of an hour and half before baby was born it wasn't too bad. She checked the baby's heart rate once, but that was it. Then she got all confused when the midwife asked her to get the biohazard bucket for the placenta
Kellisa, Mama to:
Courtney, Nola, Kya, and Whitney
Breastfeeding Peer Counselor, training to be an IBCLC!
we only have our midwife, she didn't like the lady she was trying to partner with and after i met her I agreed. she has asked if she could bring her sister who was interested in maybe becomming a midwife and my husband and I asked her not to (she seemed like she would bring nervousness to the deleivery). she later asked if she could invite an RN who was interested in midwifery, I explained to her that i would need to meet her prior to the time and that it may be ok since she has already been in healthcare and wouldn't just be watching. that didn't work out so it will just be the midwife and my husband and I.
If i was in your situation I would talk to the midwife right away about how you feel about the apprentice, the midwife needs to know these things so she can change the method of emmersion or maybe midwifery isn't the right direction for the apprentice.
You never know, she could have learned a lot by the time you birth your baby, all midwives are like this at some point while they are learning, however, you don't have to have an apprentice present if you aren't comfortable with it.
You definitely need to talk to your midwife about it. I'm sure she can call in an old assistant or a fellow midwife to take her place. Like someone else said, it's YOUR experience and you need to be comfortable at your own birth! My midwife had heard, mistakenly, that I didn't like her assistant and offered to have another midwife friend of hers present. Fortunately it was a misunderstanding as I had NO issues at all with her assistant MW. Good luck and DON'T be afraid to speak up. It's too important not to.
ESTHER GRACE WAS BORN ON MARCH 23RD, 2009: 4:15 PM, 9 POUNDS, 20.5 INCHES. ANOTHER WONDERFUL HOME WATER BIRTH!!!
The world today is upside down because there is so very little love in the home, and in family life. We have no time for each other. Everybody is in such a terrible rush, and so anxious…and in the home begins the disruption of the peace of the world. -Mother Teresa~
Thanks, ladies! I will definitely talk to my mw about it when I see her in two weeks. I would prefer she not bring anyone else with her at all. I know most mw like to work with someone, but my mom will also be attending. She is a licensed mw in California, and there is about 50 years (25+ years each) of birthing experience between my mom and my mw. That seems like enough to me! Besides, since this is my first birth, it is a learning experience for me and I don't know that I need an extra set of eyes staring at me while I go through it. Hopefully my mw understands!
It sounds like you have your bases covered and I'm sure your midwife will understand, just be honest.
My problem is the mw's apprentice is too sweet and talks to me in a baby voice. I'm the person that shakes toddlers' hands and says "nice to meet you," I'm not a baby voice person. She also explained various hormones to me in a baby voice and I finally had to interrupt and say "thank you, it's fine, I'm familiar with those," truthfully, I wasn't, I just couldn't handle it anymore. That said, she's sweet, so can't really complain about someone being too sweet.