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So Frustrated - UPDATED in post #14


Forum: Home Birth

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  #1  
May 26th, 2009, 11:22 AM
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I have 2 amazing at home water birth under my belt and I want nothing more than to have another normal natural home birth.
I deny alot of testing because I don't see the point of submitting my body to unnatural circumstances to see how it reacts to something I would never do in the first place. (Gestational Diabetes test)

I always thought that Midwifes were the more Holistic caregivers and that they would be fine with whatever birth you want. I am new to Canada and I'm already on my second midwife and I'm still getting the same flack.

She is pressuring me to get another ultrasound because the baby was measuring a week and a half behind my "due date" I've tried to explain that I already knew that my ovulation dates were off, but she won't listen to me.

She is pressuring me to get the Gestational Diabetes test because my fundal height is measuring a few weeks ahead and I might have a big baby. That makes absolutly no sense to me, (especially with her fussing about the baby being to small ) and I don't want the test. My babies have both been a healthy 8 pounds, I have hardly any sugar in my diet, and no history whatsover of this condition in my family. Plus I have always measured big, I think its because I am short.

I have aways refused the Group B strep test, and have never had any problems. They did a Urine culture without my knowledge and it came up postitive for GBS. So now I am getting pressure to get the anti-biotic during labor. I don't want the anti-biotic, accoridng to all my research (talking with 2 different Dr's and lots of reading) my odds are very low that my baby would get an infection, since I am not in the hospital, I am not getting vaginal exams, my water has always broken when the baby was crowning, I have always gone full-term and have 8 pound babies, I plan on breast feeding and doing lots of skin to skin. Plus even if the anti-biotic did something to help, you have to have it in your system for 4 hours before the baby is born, my labors are to short for that, my last was 2 1/2 hours from feeling uncomfortable to the baby arriving. I have already gotten treatment from my natropath for the GBS and I feel that that is enough.

They don't even test for GBS in Europe! Why all the crazy pressure "your baby will die" crap. I want to go back to my dr I had in the states who let my body do what it was supposed to and didn't rant about worst case scenario's all the time.

I have never thought about going unassisted before in my life! I always liked having the option to have someone medically qualified to attend there just in case. But I do NOT want this lady there if she is going to make me get this IV drip, pressure me to do stuff and control everything that happens. I don't really know what to do. She already asked if I wanted the help of a social worker in my home since I am a young parent and my kids are so close together, what if she decides that I am a bad parent or something simply because I have done my research and made a descision she doesn't agree with!
Grrrrrrr! I have never been this frustrated with my caregivers before, I am not looking forward to this birth at all right now. I keep worrying about everything.

Does anyone know what the policy/protocol is for someone who refuses GBS Anti-biotic? Do they insist on treating the baby instead? I always thought I had the right to make informed choices. She also says that if my labor is prgressing to fast for the midwife assisant to make it in time, she is required to call 911. ***? That is so stupid. What else will "force" her to call 911?

Sorry about this humongously long vent. I don't know what to do, and I guess I just wanted to talk about it with someone who might not think I'm crazy.

Last edited by cre8tivem; June 4th, 2009 at 07:34 AM.
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  #2  
May 26th, 2009, 02:14 PM
inyourhonor's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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First off, I have read that you can test positive one day for GBS and then the next week you're negative. I was negative my first pregnancy and didn't bother testing with my 2nd.

Secondly, I'd start looking for another midwife or even a doula. If she isn't willing to listen to you and is starting to push things onto you, I would definitely think twice. She would not be someone I'd want at my birth if I was going to start to fear what she may do and may try to pressure me into.

I am not one to go UA but if you feel it may be an option for you, I'd consider it.

I wish i could tell you more. I have never had this problem in a pregnancy before so Im' not that much help. I wish you the best of luck and KUP.
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  #3  
May 26th, 2009, 02:35 PM
Kelllilee's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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completely

I dont' know what the rules are in Canada though. The midwife I have allows me to refuse anything I want (with the exception of inital bloodwork and post-birth screening that is required by the state). I dont 'have to do a GBS, GD, or any risk analysis type testing.

You should be able to find someone who will allow you to do that. I can't imagine not. But then, I think the system is different in Canada because of the healthcare system...
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  #4  
May 26th, 2009, 03:28 PM
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As far as Iknow it is easier to refuse anything in Canada than in states.
I tested positive for GBS with my first 2 and was going with a Dr. at that time, who was pro natural birth and I never had IV or antibiotics or any other interventions either with my Dr. or then with my midwife for my last 2 births.

Sounds like your midwife is like a doctor, I would look for a new one.
I am not taking many tests this pregnancy and my midwives are fine with that, actually they even suggested I dont have to take those tests if I dont want to.
I dont know about calling 911, but I know with one of my homebirths, the second midwife wasnt here, and I was close to pushing, so my first midwife said to wait pushing if I can (which I didnt feel like pushing at all at that time anyway so it worked fine, but I can tell you I would push if I had the urge LOL), my second midiwife got here just about the time I had to start pushing. Nobody ever said anything about dialing 911.
Heck I was even told that they will deliver baby if it is breech (if baby turns in labour, by law they cant deliver breech baby, if they know baby is breech prior to labour kwim?)

I think it depends where in Canada you are and then each midwife even there would be different.
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  #5  
May 26th, 2009, 06:56 PM
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I'm in Manitoba, and when I first went in the practice told me that I was fully able to make any choices to deny almost anything. But they are not acting like that at all. I feel kind of afraid to deny anything else because I don't know what the repercussions would be? They act as if they are going to get me in big trouble or something?

This is already my second midwife, and because there are only 19 midwifes in the city of winnipeg supposedly only 30% of women requesting one get one, I've been lucky enough to get to try 2 different ones, but so far they are both very much like Drs. And you can't have a home birth without a midwife. I've even heard that they can take your baby from you if they find out you had a baby unassisted? Or you refuse care that could "save the babies life." (haven't we all heard that before)

I never had to worry about any of this before, I never realized how blessed I was to have my other dr. I don't think my first birth would have been so amazing if I had caregivers like I do now, I don't do as well standing up for myself as I thought I would.
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  #6  
May 26th, 2009, 10:34 PM
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I am in Canada. You can absolutely have your baby at home, not illegal at all. In the US they have taken babies from families for it, but not in Canada. And in the US they had to give them back too.
Your midwife doesn't sound like all the midwives I have ever met.
It is absolutely your choice in what you do and don't want. However, like physicians, midwives are obligated by law (and their regulating boards) to do certain things, such as not permitted a homebirth for a preemie (as an example).
Have you tried finding another midwife?

And I must say, I am impressed, 19 midwives in Winnipeg is a great number! Winnipeg must be one of the cities in the country with the highest number of midwives, most places don't come near to that number, for example, in Edmonton there are only 4 homebirth midwives, all the rest (4) are only in a birth centre.
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  #7  
May 27th, 2009, 04:46 PM
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I'm starting to feel a little better about this. And this is my birth and my body has done really well both times before, so I shouldn't have to feel this apprehensive. I think at my appointment next week I'm going to be a little more assertive and see what happens. I need to ask her what the protocol is when I deny the GBS antibiotic. Maybe I just need to be more sure of myself.
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  #8  
May 27th, 2009, 05:33 PM
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Well, why do you feel you need to be tested for GBS in the first place? I would ask that first. It is "routine" to test at 36 weeks, but it is a choice too. If you are not wanting/willing to have IV meds for it then why test in the first place? Nevermind the fact that testing at any time other than while in labour is not indicative of what will or will not be present in moms body in labour, so you may very well test + at test time and be - at birth.
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  #9  
May 27th, 2009, 07:16 PM
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I fully agree that its a pointless test.
I haven't ever been tested for GBS with any of my pregnancies. And I was fully planning to deny the test this time again.
They took a urine sample at my first appointment (I thought that it was for proteins and sugars) and it turns out they were doing a urine culture (the only reason they would do that in the states is if I complained of an infection) it's routine up here? But it was done without my knowledge.
That urine culture came up positive for GBS and since it is an "added risk" if GBS is found in your urine, they are pretty adamant about getting the treatment.
So now I am stuck listed as "GBS Positive" even though if I had known that they were doing a urine culture I never would have peed in that stupid cup.
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  #10  
May 27th, 2009, 07:40 PM
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ugh, how annoying!!

Can you request a second GBS test around 36 weeks? You can use hibicleans (think that's what it's called) to reduce the chance of being positive. Maybe if you come up negative closer to the birth it'll be easier...
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  #11  
May 27th, 2009, 09:19 PM
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I have never been tested for GBS early in pregnancy, only at the end of it. Really dont know why they did that for you.
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  #12  
May 28th, 2009, 09:33 AM
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I'm not sure why they did it either, other than being told that a urine culture is standard for everyone up here. (now that I know that I will deny that test as well next time!)
I think I am going to request another test so I will get a negitive result and at least have that to fight with. But they say it doesn't make a difference. Its like once positive always positive. I'm just pissed that it's on all my pre-natal records now. Imagine the fight if I do have to go into the hospital for some reason.
Maybe its just the province I'm in, is Manitoba stuck in the 1950's or something? It seems like the whole "pregnancy is a disease and labor is a life-threatening ordeal" is pretty rampant around here, not just the midwifes either, all the ladies in my church are shocked that I'm going to have a home birth too!
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  #13  
May 28th, 2009, 09:52 AM
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I would switch midwifes, this is certainly a time that you want to be 100% confident in your care provider and if you feel like your constantly having to defend yourself then its time to move on. I really agree with Martina, that the midwife sounds like a doctor and the whole GBS testing and 911 calling would be red flags to me that it wouldn't work.

I would try to get into contact with some doulas and get some insight on more natural midwifes in your area.
I know its fustrating, but keep looking, you'll find the right fit eventually. And personally if it came down to it I would go unassited.
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  #14  
June 2nd, 2009, 01:59 PM
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So how are things going with this?
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  #15  
June 3rd, 2009, 07:52 PM
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I went in for my appointment on Tuesday and I brought my notebook and a bunch of paperwork to make me feel braver when I said no to all the things I "have" to do.
I think that she liked that I was so serious, before this I was trying not to make a big deal out of it. She really backed off this time and was fine with my denying the IV in labor and denying all of the testing that I didn't want. I think it made her feel like she was important and that I was well informed.
She just said that they will be extra careful to examine the baby and make sure that I know the signs of infection to look for. She even went on to say that signs of distress in baby are way easier to spot if you are co-sleeping! (Although she said they aren't allowed to officially endorse it.)
So the appointment went well! Yay! My blood pressure was fine and I was measuring right on time this time. I am 27 weeks along and have gained 8 pounds so far. I did another Urine culture to see if the GBS has been eliminated by the Natropathic treatments I've been doing.
I felt so much better coming out of this appointment. I think it really helped that I stood up for myself and had real reasons to deny everything. When she took me seriously she stopped pressuring me.
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  #16  
June 3rd, 2009, 08:05 PM
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Sounds good.

I honestly believe that many midwives "go by the book" until they have a client that says something against what is "normal procedure". It sounds as though the midwife you have is this way.

I love that she told you co-sleeping a great way to spot things, it truly is.
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  #17  
June 4th, 2009, 10:49 AM
soImarriedAnerd's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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That sounds better! KUP with your GBS test results!
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  #18  
June 5th, 2009, 01:15 PM
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I'm glad she seemed better this time. Just keep sticking to your guns
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