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Hi, I was just wondering if anyone has had a homebirth with their first child or if it's a good idea/not a good idea.. I'm not pregnant yet, just planning what I'd like my birthing plan to be and I'd really like to avoid the hospital. If we get pregnant now, I'd be 20 by the time I give birth, it would be my first baby. I'd like a water birth at home, but I'm wondering if it's a good idea with a first baby?
I'd obviously go by how baby was developing, if there were likely to be any problems at the birth if I developed any problems during the pregnancy that meant I couldn't stay at home etc etc, but generally speaking do people think it's a good/bad idea? Why?
Both me and my DH were around 8lbs 6ounces and something that worries me - my mum had to have an emergency C section, my stepmum had to have an emergency C section (my dad's kids) with both my brother and sister... (Though I do think my stepmum would have been panicking and making it harder for herself...though obviously I wasn't there to judge!!) neither of them had a waterbirth or tried something like hypno-birthing, something I'd really like to try.... I dunno, on the one hand I think I could use alternative methods to relax (water birth, candles, music, hypnotherapy..etc) that they won't have tried, but we have a 'good' history of C sections in my family, which worries me a bit!!
Good grief I'm rambling like crazy! Just wanted to get backgrounds, feelings etc in, looking for any opinions, as I've read a lot of articles which say home birth isn't really recommended for first baby... Thanks!
ETA: Does anyone know roughly how much the birthing centres cost? That would be my second choice..
ETAA: Sorry for sounding completely ignorant, in part I'm trying to convince my DH that it's not as scary and dangerous as he thinks, but with lack of knowledge on my part, it's difficult!!
Last edited by Nightkd; September 3rd, 2009 at 11:31 AM.
You don't sound ignorant at all, you sound like someone who is researching their options, and I think thats a great thing.
I'd suggest getting to know the home birth midwives in your area first. Set up appointments to meet with them and ask questions. When I was researching having a home birth (I was pregnant at the time), I spoke to a few local midwives on the phone, and set up an appointment with one of them to meet and ask questions. Once I met them, and DH was with me as well, I felt so at ease and comfortable. They answered all my "what if" questions, gave me some great reading materials and really made us feel comfortable an confident in our decision.
Please stick around here while you research, ask all the questions you have, and jump right in. We love having new people here!!
I've been having a look around, read the thread "Convincing DH" and the link that's posted there "But what if..." which has reassured me quite a lot. It's difficult when it's something I want so much, but know so little about... It does make it hard to convince my DH that it's a good thing and could turn out better than a hospital birth! I can't stand bright lights and having people watching me do ANYTHING, let alone something as huge as giving birth!!...I need my own space and to be able to do what I want instead of following hospital rules and having people bustling around me.. I'm definitely going to show him that thread!!
I think it would help a lot to get to know some midwives in the area...though I might feel a bit awkward talking to them before I'm pregnant!! How many midwives are usually present at a home birth?
You could show him the movie The Business of Being Born by Ricki Lake and Abby Epstein.
Also, one thing that sold my husband (Who was very nervous and cautious because of the previous c-section) was actually meeting with our home birth midwife. He asked her a list of questions and she answered them fully and then some. We walked out of our consultation meeting with him looking at me saying cancel the other meeting with a CNM.
You may feel awkward but chances are they will answer your questions and possibly meet with you for a consultation. I'm sure they get those kind of calls all the time. I actually found my midwife online by searching HBAC/VBAC providers and was lead to her. We e-mailed back and forth a few times before I decided to do the consultation with her and my husband.
I had 2 midwives at my birth and 1 student midwife. The 2nd midwife was there because well, she was offered and was great help to me and the other midwives. The student was there because well, learning haha. So I had 3 women who attended my birth, then it was just me and my husband. My mom took my 2 almost 3 year old to her house. I think it depends on who the midwife works with. I would say you could count on 2 being present.
Also, i honestly wish I had known about home births with my first son. Chances are his birth would have been so much different then it turned out. I wouldn't have a scar on my lower abdomen had I known about HB.
I think it's kinda silly that they say not to have a homebirth with your first....I had my first at home in water when I was 22 Everything went beautifully. It was smooth, easy and we were both healthy! I wouldn't trade it for the world. It was the greatest experience and I am so glad we both decided and had a homebirth!
I agree with the PP- Business of Being Born and talk with midwives. (at first my DH was for a birthing center and wasn't sure about a homebirth but he changed his mind and we're both so glad for it. We'll only plan/hopefully have homebirths from here on out) GL!
Another vote for having him watch The Business of Being Born. My mom wasn't nervous about me birthing at home, but didn't understand why I didn't want another pain free birth until she watched it with me. Now after doing some reading on her own she thinks the hospital is the last place a pregnant woman needs to be! Unless it's an emergency of course. She is going to be at my homebirth if the baby holds out till his due date. She's just as excited as me for it now.
I wish I would have had a homebirth with my first, but it kinda wasn't doable at the time due to my circumstances. I was 20 when I delivered and honestly I think my OB treated me like a child. Basically it all went HIS way, which I didn't appreciate, but didn't know enough at the time to speak up. If I was birthing at home I would have been in control and it wouldn't have pain free, but it wouldn't be something I look back on and feel bad about like I do now. It kills me that docs encourage you to know all about pregnancy yet when it come time for labor and delivery you should just know nothing and sit back and let them handle it. I am all about knowing as much as you can before going into birth so that's awesome you're starting out now!!
I say if you can convince hubby to go for a homebirth go for it, even for a first baby! As far as cost goes...I think insurance would probably be accepted more at a birth center. My midwife accepts insurance, but right now we are paying her next week in one lump sum then after the birth she bills the insurance co...then if they pay on anything they cut us a check. I'm thinking with a birth center they would bill the insurance every step of the way..does that make sense?
I had my first at home in water. It was incredible! I heard it all, "you don't know how you are going to handle it" you never know what could happen with your first" blah blah blah, but I think it should almost be mandatory for first births! lol! Your odds of intervention in a hospital birth with your first labor is much much higher since your labo is likely to last longer, and the pushing stage usually lasts longer. I think you could be more tempted to let the Dr.s do what they want since you are so tired after hours of labor, but in reality you can do it!
I was 21 years old, I'm 5'2" and my daughter was 8 pounds 12 ounces. I had 12 hours of light contractions every 5 minutes to get to effaced and to 4 cm. Then I went into the pool and labored in the water as the contractions got more intense. The water really helped me to relax my body and let it do what it was supposed to. I was complete after 6 hours, I was actually surprised when I was told that I could push whenever I wanted to, since I had been telling myself it was going to get worse the whole time. It took awhile to push my daughter out, she was my first, her head was 14 inches, and her head was also cocked a bit to the side making it a bit harder for her to crown. But I just went with whatever my body needed to do, pushing when my body told me to, breathing, changing positions. My recovery was great, I was up and around the same day, I only had 2 stitches from a very small tear.
My second home birth was even easier! Very fast and intense, but over and easy to recover from.
I totally reccomend HB for your first baby. Hands down.
If I had been in the hospital, I probably would have been given pitocin to speed my labor up, and definetly would have been given an episiotomy to get her head out faster! I am so glad that I never had to deal with any of that.