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  #1  
September 3rd, 2009, 01:18 PM
inyourhonor's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Have you ever felt outcasted with friends who have chosen a different route for their births? Have they been nice about it or have some been in your face?

Like, do you feel because they went the hospital and medicated way you're some crazy hippy (yeah I've been called that!) because of choosing to have a home birth?
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  #2  
September 3rd, 2009, 02:52 PM
Twinkle's Avatar Platinum Super Mommy
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I've definitely been called a crazy hippy as well. I don't think I've been outcasted so to speak, but I've definitely had people who disagreed with me and think I'm a bit crazy. Oh well, I think they are the crazy ones for going to a hospital.
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  #3  
September 4th, 2009, 05:48 AM
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Yup tottaly outcaseted by many!

Esspeshally as the pain management will be very limited medically. People who have given birth in hospitals (on their back stirups picotin ect) say I wont be able to do it, or "tell me that again after youve had your baby".


But its been the same with alot of things ive chosen to do, cloth nappying, breast feeding ect.

But then Ive had the flip side of the coin with random old ladies who had all their children at home and ofcourse clothed and breast fed saying thats the way it should be done and are confused that people choose to every go in to hospital!


DP is just telling every one we are near such and such hospital, as he dosnt want to answer the home birth questions ect, but hes going to tell EVERY ONE that it was a home birth once the babys born!
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  #4  
September 4th, 2009, 11:58 PM
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No, I most often get the feeling that they automatically think I'm judging them for not choosing a more natural choice. That's not the case at all, but I think some friends are having trouble dealing with their choices to involve drugs in their labor and because they're already wrestling with that, my decision to have a home birth feels like a condemnation to them.

Does that make any sense?
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  #5  
September 5th, 2009, 06:44 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jess5377 View Post
No, I most often get the feeling that they automatically think I'm judging them for not choosing a more natural choice. That's not the case at all, but I think some friends are having trouble dealing with their choices to involve drugs in their labor and because they're already wrestling with that, my decision to have a home birth feels like a condemnation to them.

Does that make any sense?
Makes complete sense to me! I have had women start giving me all their excuses for why they did what they did! Like I am there to take a statement and then pass judgement!

I tell people (if I need to) that although I am all for homebirth, what I am ultimately FOR is for women to have the CHOICE of what type of birth they want!

I have never felt outcasted, but I have been called "crunchy" or "Laura Ingalls." (Not sure where that one came from. LOL)
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  #6  
September 5th, 2009, 09:37 AM
WishingStar's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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So far, I get the "WOW! Really??"
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  #7  
September 9th, 2009, 07:03 PM
soImarriedAnerd's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I got it from strangers a ton, and DH's family...my side and my friends all love the idea even though their choices were different.
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  #8  
September 9th, 2009, 07:39 PM
lhug_nar's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I get outcasted a lot by DH's family. They all think that I should have a VBAC in a hospital, being constantly monitored, and within 90 seconds of an OR "just in case". They also think that I'm going to either hurt or hurting the baby because I'm being "stubborn" about how I'm going to have this baby... Gotta love my IL's!
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  #9  
September 12th, 2009, 05:14 AM
DoulaMama's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Most people accept my choices and respect them, but since I'm a birth assistant, doula nad student midwife I think it is different.....


Mainly DH is the only one who thinks I am a crazy hippy, and he means it with love (mostly!)
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  #10  
September 12th, 2009, 05:36 AM
inyourhonor's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tiff F. View Post
I get outcasted a lot by DH's family. They all think that I should have a VBAC in a hospital, being constantly monitored, and within 90 seconds of an OR "just in case". They also think that I'm going to either hurt or hurting the baby because I'm being "stubborn" about how I'm going to have this baby... Gotta love my IL's!
You could tell them that even in an emergency in the hospital if something goes wrong and they need to section you, you will STILL have to wait for the OR to be prepped and ready. If something happens at home by the time you get to the hospital they would have the OR ready for you to go immediately right in.

I always found that fight to be funny because I heard it a lot during my pregnancy. I told them with my first "emergency" I waited about 40 minutes for the OR to be ready. I mean I know there are cases where its wham bam thank you ma'am.
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  #11  
September 12th, 2009, 12:47 PM
moon~maiden's Avatar Cheryl~ birth truster
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We moved to a new town (and state) since we had our daughter (in a hospital) and we have been here for over a year. I still don't really have any friends, a few that I know through the gym but no real friends. We are TTC right now and I am about to get involved in the moms group of our town, for Cadie to have playmates and to meet some other ladies. I do worry that the homebirth issue will make it even harder for me to be accepted here. I do want some local ladies to socialize with.

I too feel like other women automatically feel like I am looking down on them because I am so into natural living. My husband thinks that is the main issue with me not making friends. It will be interesting for sure! Not to mention Cadie has no vaccines.....I am not a good liar so although I wouldn't offer the info up, if people ask me questions I don't know how I would avoid the answer.

my inlaws are very conventional and they know we will be having the next at home, not sure if they believe it!
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  #12  
September 13th, 2009, 03:59 AM
lhug_nar's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by inyourhonor View Post
You could tell them that even in an emergency in the hospital if something goes wrong and they need to section you, you will STILL have to wait for the OR to be prepped and ready. If something happens at home by the time you get to the hospital they would have the OR ready for you to go immediately right in.

I always found that fight to be funny because I heard it a lot during my pregnancy. I told them with my first "emergency" I waited about 40 minutes for the OR to be ready. I mean I know there are cases where its wham bam thank you ma'am.
Yup, tried that... The only place that got me was my FIL saying that if he knows that I'm in labor he's going to call 911 and come to the house to force me to the hospital. Nevermind that it's safer to have a VBAC at home without the interventions. I also have pointed out that I waited over an hour to go have my c/s with Bryce and that if I needed to have another c/s that we are only 10 minutes from the hospital. My IL's think that I'm totally crazy and should just submit to another section since I'm "just going to need another one anyways because I (you) don't have the hips for childbirth."
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