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Assisted or unassisted


Forum: Home Birth

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View Poll Results: Assisted or unassisted?
Planning an assisted home birth 16 88.89%
Planning an unassisted birth, but receiving prenatal care 1 5.56%
Planning an unassisted birth and doing my own prental care 1 5.56%
Voters: 18. You may not vote on this poll

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  #1  
January 5th, 2010, 07:06 AM
fka teresarunningmommy
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How about a poll? Are you planning an assisted home birth or unassisted home birth?
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  #2  
January 5th, 2010, 07:07 AM
inyourhonor's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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If we have it, it'll be assisted. I am personally for myself not comfortable with the idea of unassisted.
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  #3  
January 5th, 2010, 07:08 AM
fka teresarunningmommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by inyourhonor View Post
If we have it, it'll be assisted. I am personally for myself not comfortable with the idea of unassisted.
I am planning assisted as well. I don't think I am a good candidate for an unassisted birth.
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  #4  
January 5th, 2010, 07:39 AM
Twinkle's Avatar Platinum Super Mommy
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I'd love to try an unassisted birth, but its not something I'm entirely comfortable with and DH certainly isn't... luckily I love my midwives, and they will be as hands off as I need them to be, or as hands on as well.
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  #5  
January 5th, 2010, 09:11 AM
CameraLinds's Avatar Zane & Jude's mama
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Not currently expecting....hope to be ASAP!!
We'll do assisted again
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  #6  
January 5th, 2010, 12:00 PM
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We are doing assisted.
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  #7  
January 5th, 2010, 06:07 PM
Adam&Kaydence'sMommy's Avatar formerly wiseg2
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I'm planning on going unassisted but I am receiving prenatal care because I have pregnancy induced hypertension.
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  #8  
January 5th, 2010, 06:12 PM
lhug_nar's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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We're doing assisted. If we have a good experience this time I don't know if we'll do assisted or unassisted next time.
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  #9  
January 5th, 2010, 07:11 PM
lilflower
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Umm....both?



I receive prenatal care and am now doing some of my own (thanks ladies)
I want an unassisted, but right now I'm looking more at assisted. And found a LOVELY midwife in the area!
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  #10  
January 5th, 2010, 07:41 PM
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i'm not preggo but i do have assisted hb.
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  #11  
January 5th, 2010, 11:26 PM
MrsPil's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I go unassisted both for pregnancy and for birth. I'm just not comfortable with other people being around me during birth and I feel more in tune with my body when I manage my own "care". I believe that a birth where you trust your instincts implicitly is a birth that is safe, whether your gut tells you to have a c-section or a midwife or no one around at all.

I know it makes me super odd man out - and honestly it's hard even to connect with assisted homebirthing moms, I feel judged or like I have to walk on eggshells so that no one thinks I'm judging them... It's a tough space to occupy but at the end of the day I know I'm right for me and that is all that matters.
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  #12  
January 6th, 2010, 03:35 AM
fka teresarunningmommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MrsPil View Post
I go unassisted both for pregnancy and for birth. I'm just not comfortable with other people being around me during birth and I feel more in tune with my body when I manage my own "care". I believe that a birth where you trust your instincts implicitly is a birth that is safe, whether your gut tells you to have a c-section or a midwife or no one around at all.

I know it makes me super odd man out - and honestly it's hard even to connect with assisted homebirthing moms, I feel judged or like I have to walk on eggshells so that no one thinks I'm judging them... It's a tough space to occupy but at the end of the day I know I'm right for me and that is all that matters.
I don't think there's anything wrong with unassisted births or unassisted care for that matter if you've taken the time to educate yourself on your body and what you need to know which it definitely appears you have. I thought about doing an unassisted pregnancy myself before. I've been to nursing school twice and have read a lot on pregnancy. I just don't think it's for everyone. For me my biggest reason for having an assisted birth is well two reasons - one my dh. He's barely on board with an assisted home birth. Not that I need his permission, but it is nice to have his support. The bigger reason of the two is my history of hemorrhaging. I have hemorrhaged after 3 of my births. I know with Megan we had no IV and no interventions and it was the scariest feeling in the world feeling all this blood continuing to gush out of you and not being able to make it stop. To feel the room starting to feel like it's fading out because you all of a sudden are so tired you can't keep your eyes open and feel like you can't breathe. Even at that I would not be afraid of dying or anything like that from an unassisted birth. I am 2.7 miles away from a hospital. I know I could get there on time should I start hemorrhaging with this one. My big reason is I don't want to have a home birth just to wind up stuck at a hospital! So for me I just don't think I am a good candidate for an unassisted birth. I think you need to be well educated on your body and be low risk to do an unassisted care and/or birth. Of course, all of these are my opinions. I also feel that people are very entitled to make their own decisions whether they are the same ones I would make or not.
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  #13  
January 6th, 2010, 09:29 AM
Twinkle's Avatar Platinum Super Mommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MrsPil View Post
I go unassisted both for pregnancy and for birth. I'm just not comfortable with other people being around me during birth and I feel more in tune with my body when I manage my own "care". I believe that a birth where you trust your instincts implicitly is a birth that is safe, whether your gut tells you to have a c-section or a midwife or no one around at all.

I know it makes me super odd man out - and honestly it's hard even to connect with assisted homebirthing moms, I feel judged or like I have to walk on eggshells so that no one thinks I'm judging them... It's a tough space to occupy but at the end of the day I know I'm right for me and that is all that matters.
I'm sorry that you feel its hard to connect with assisted homebirthing mamas. I really admire and respect women that take that responsibility and educate themselves. I would love to be in a position where I could do it as well, but it simply isn't in the cards for me.
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  #14  
January 6th, 2010, 09:53 AM
inyourhonor's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MrsPil View Post
I go unassisted both for pregnancy and for birth. I'm just not comfortable with other people being around me during birth and I feel more in tune with my body when I manage my own "care". I believe that a birth where you trust your instincts implicitly is a birth that is safe, whether your gut tells you to have a c-section or a midwife or no one around at all.

I know it makes me super odd man out - and honestly it's hard even to connect with assisted homebirthing moms, I feel judged or like I have to walk on eggshells so that no one thinks I'm judging them... It's a tough space to occupy but at the end of the day I know I'm right for me and that is all that matters.
it makes me sad to know you don't really connect with those of us who go assisted. I never feel like you have judged me and I don't judge you for your choice to go UC. I think its great! Honestly, I have tossed the idea back and forth recently, but I am not comfortable on my own personal level to do it. I have had 1 c-section and 1 successful hbac but my nerves are shot from my 1st birth experience to be comfortable to go at it alone.

I think you're great (won't say brave because its a word I have learned doesn't mean what it sounds like anymore, to me when someone says i'm brave for having a hb it seems like they're calling me crazy) for going unassisted.
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  #15  
January 6th, 2010, 10:31 AM
jhmomofmany's Avatar Look! A Dancing Banana!
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I'm not sure how to vote. I've done assisted and unassisted. The only time we planned an unassisted pregnancy and birth, I ended up loosing the baby at 36 weeks. Then, last time, I planned assisted, but the mw didn't make it so we delivered Mary ourselves.

This time we are planning assisted, will probably have the midwife handy (if she makes it, LOL!) but not necessarily doing anything or even in the same room. But, if we end up doing UC again, I'm okay with that, too.
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  #16  
January 6th, 2010, 04:27 PM
MrsPil's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Thanks ladies, it's not as bad here as it is on some boards (ironic since the other board I'm thinking of is even less mainstream than here) and I'm certain that a lot of this is hormonal...

I think a lot of the reason it's hard for me to connect is because as a UCer I don't fit with a lot of UC moms who think that UC really is for everyone when my philosophy is that a woman should give birth in the way she feels be it at home with or without assistance or in a scheduled c-section for a low lying placenta. No one should feel like they have to justify their birthing choices to anyone so long as they are following their instincts.

My friend Carrie was a UC mom who felt with her last pregnancy that she would have complications and needed an assistant. During her labor she suffered an amniotic fluid embolism, lost consciousness, and was essentially dead for several minutes. But she had followed her gut and her midwife was able to save her life, it is essentially the reason her 8 children have a mother today. (BTW I do not say this to give anyone anything extra to worry about - AFE is so rare that most OB's will never see one, in the statistics I've found from last year less than 40 AFE's were reported.)

I guess what I'm trying to say especially to Teresa and InYourHonor is I completely understand, you know your body and you know your needs. Do tell anyone they have to birth my way is to be just as bad as any OB scaring women into unnecessary c-sections. I have complete respect for you all, even if I don't always feel completely connected
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  #17  
January 7th, 2010, 03:32 AM
fka teresarunningmommy
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Michigan
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MrsPil View Post
Thanks ladies, it's not as bad here as it is on some boards (ironic since the other board I'm thinking of is even less mainstream than here) and I'm certain that a lot of this is hormonal...

I think a lot of the reason it's hard for me to connect is because as a UCer I don't fit with a lot of UC moms who think that UC really is for everyone when my philosophy is that a woman should give birth in the way she feels be it at home with or without assistance or in a scheduled c-section for a low lying placenta. No one should feel like they have to justify their birthing choices to anyone so long as they are following their instincts.

My friend Carrie was a UC mom who felt with her last pregnancy that she would have complications and needed an assistant. During her labor she suffered an amniotic fluid embolism, lost consciousness, and was essentially dead for several minutes. But she had followed her gut and her midwife was able to save her life, it is essentially the reason her 8 children have a mother today. (BTW I do not say this to give anyone anything extra to worry about - AFE is so rare that most OB's will never see one, in the statistics I've found from last year less than 40 AFE's were reported.)

I guess what I'm trying to say especially to Teresa and InYourHonor is I completely understand, you know your body and you know your needs. Do tell anyone they have to birth my way is to be just as bad as any OB scaring women into unnecessary c-sections. I have complete respect for you all, even if I don't always feel completely connected
I feel a lot the same way. I have a hard time with judgmental people period and feel like as a women I should do my best to be supportive of other people's decisions. Having given birth a few times now I have seen some of my natural child births a truly wonderful experience and some of them just awful. Same goes with my two epidural births, one was awesome, the other other was the worst experience of my life. I had posted this poll because I thought we had more unassisted births here and was curious. I had a friend of mine a few years back that had a beautiful unassisted birth and that was when I had started looking into it. Anyhow, I am glad you are around with your experiences to help other UCers (and even us non UCers too.)
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  #18  
January 7th, 2010, 08:40 PM
booboobunny's Avatar mzdee
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i not expecting but wanted to share...i had a assisted homebirth in 2008. For a while with that pregnancy i was considering unassisted homebirth. My hubby was not on board. He was a lil nervous about the assisted homebirth but he was convinced after meeting my midwives. With my birth in 2008 i felt as though it was unassisted because my midwives weren't too touchy or anything. They were just there to give verbal support and light guidance. My husband delivered the baby while they watched.
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  #19  
January 8th, 2010, 01:52 PM
HappyHippy's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Assisted homebirth
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  #20  
January 8th, 2010, 08:19 PM
tygrss's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Planning an assisted homebirth with the same midwife that I had for my birth center birth. However, I've prepared for unassisted just in case (even my midwife encouraged it) since my last labor/birth was 3 hours and 10 minutes total.

I think that women should do whatever makes them feel comfortable as long as they are truly educated on the subject...that goes for scheduled c-sections to unassisted births. It's not my place to judge them.
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