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Hello...I need some thoughts


Forum: Home Birth

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  #1  
January 27th, 2010, 04:52 PM
LJD3Tdance's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Hello. I'm from the June 2010 DDC, and I posted this there, but I thought it was appropriate for this board as well. But since I'm not a member here I thought I'd start by saying, I'm Christen, pregnant with number 4. Hello everyone! Anyway, on with the post.

I need some thoughts...

DH said to me the other day "So we're planning a home birth right?" I thought he was 100% joking with me...he was like maybe 25% joking with me.

Now I thought this, because I didn't think dh was the home birth kind. When I told him last pregnancy there would most certainly be no epidural this time (because it wasn't an enjoyable experience with baby number 2), he kinda laughed at me "Whatever, you say honey." Type thing. But I was totally serious. The nurse said to my many in room visitors during my labor that she thought I should teach the birthing class, lol, I was just thinking, this isn't all that bad. So doing it without the epidurl wasn't a big deal. The point where it was bad, was when I made it to 10cm, and then I pushed and the whole deal was over...nice that it was my 3rd kid and all that when I finally did it without the epi, the pushing is short then, lol.

So, he said that since we don't actually have anyone living down here we know, and since I've done it without the pain meds, he thinks we ought to consider a home birth, no baby sitter that way.

Here's why I didn't consider it though. For the first two I was totally pro epidurl, and I don't regrett anything, both wonderful vaginal births, but the dang epi caused me way more pain than it relieved with my 2nd, so I said, well that's enough of that. So the first two were obviously hopsital births all the way, can't exactly get an epidurl at home.

With the third I said "I want the time away from my house. I don't want anyone bothering me about dishes, or making dinner, or any of that. I want the time with just my baby, and my husband, and I'll see my other kids when I get home."

And I STILL feel that way. But dh does have a good point, that even if we get somebody to agree to come down from Idaho and stay with us for a while, I don't know when I'll go into labor, so there is no way to guarantee they'll be here. If the plan was for the birth to be here...I wouldn't have to be stressed about that.

Anyway, help me think...I just need thoughts.
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  #2  
January 27th, 2010, 08:42 PM
oriel13's Avatar Tishauna
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That was part of why I finally decided on homebirth. There's no one locally I trust to watch DS for more than a couple of hours (our family is all out of state and like you said, you can't coordinate visits with deliveries). It's great that you've done it naturally before and know that you *can* do it!

I don't have any HB experience but just wanted to say, you're not the only one considering it partially for childcare issues.
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  #3  
January 28th, 2010, 06:21 AM
Twinkle's Avatar Platinum Super Mommy
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I'm glad to see you here Christen! I'd certainly consider having a home birth with your history. You can still have that special bonding time with your baby after the birth when you are at home. For me it was more special having my older two girls there after I had the baby, our baby just seamlessly was part of our family, they just woke up one day and there was baby! It was amazing!! We had some family visit us after she was born and they took care of some of the cleaning and what not, but they should have done more, LOL. This time, I'll be asking them to do it!! LOL

Please stick around, look into your options, interview some midwives to get a feel for it!
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  #4  
January 28th, 2010, 07:12 PM
LJD3Tdance's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by oriel13 View Post
That was part of why I finally decided on homebirth. There's no one locally I trust to watch DS for more than a couple of hours (our family is all out of state and like you said, you can't coordinate visits with deliveries). It's great that you've done it naturally before and know that you *can* do it!

I don't have any HB experience but just wanted to say, you're not the only one considering it partially for childcare issues.
Thanks, I had somebody in my DDC mention a birth center that was family friendly...I think I'm going to look into that as well.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Twinkle View Post
I'm glad to see you here Christen! I'd certainly consider having a home birth with your history. You can still have that special bonding time with your baby after the birth when you are at home. For me it was more special having my older two girls there after I had the baby, our baby just seamlessly was part of our family, they just woke up one day and there was baby! It was amazing!! We had some family visit us after she was born and they took care of some of the cleaning and what not, but they should have done more, LOL. This time, I'll be asking them to do it!! LOL

Please stick around, look into your options, interview some midwives to get a feel for it!
Thanks . Yeah, if we have people here at all I will be asking too I think...we'll need the help. I just hope my nesting makes the place ready before hand so that I don't have build up on top of it, lol.
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  #5  
January 29th, 2010, 07:47 AM
BobbityBoo's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I think I am going against the grain here. I have not done a home birth yet, but I have had two natural births so far. I know for me personally it would be really hard to concentrate on the work I need to do in labor and have to worry about what my kids are doing. If you were able to have someone there to watch over them and keep them occupied if having them around ends up being a distraction, then great. But if you are thinking that your DH can do this but also assist you in labor, that might be difficult and end up distracting you even more.

Even if you have a friend close by that can come by your house while you are in labor to watch over the kids that might be the best.
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  #6  
January 29th, 2010, 12:18 PM
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Hi Christen! Welcome to the board! I'm so excited to see you here!

I don't really have much to add, but just wanted to offer my support! I know of many families that have home births with their other children present! I agree that if possible, having someone assigned to help care for them may be helpful, but if not, I wouldn't let that keep you from choosing a HB...just my opinion.

For me, I've always wanted a HB, but after last time(in the hospital), I am SO looking forward to NOT having to drive to the hospital while in labor!(that was so uncomfortable!) and then just being in the comfort of my own home during and after labor!
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  #7  
January 29th, 2010, 04:39 PM
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One reason we decided on a home birth is because it could be an issue finding someone to watch Lily. However, we are planning on having either my SIL or my best friend (or both) over when I go into labor to help with Lily in case she can't handle being around the labor/delivery, especially since she'll only be 19-20 months when the baby arrives. I want DH and I free to focus on labor and not have to worry about where Lily is, if she's eating, etc. Also, my midwives prefer if you have other kids that you have someone over who has the sole responsibility of watching them while you are laboring. They said that they have seen many mothers slow their labor down because they were worried about their other kids, etc.
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  #8  
January 29th, 2010, 07:30 PM
LJD3Tdance's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BobittyBoo View Post
I think I am going against the grain here. I have not done a home birth yet, but I have had two natural births so far. I know for me personally it would be really hard to concentrate on the work I need to do in labor and have to worry about what my kids are doing. If you were able to have someone there to watch over them and keep them occupied if having them around ends up being a distraction, then great. But if you are thinking that your DH can do this but also assist you in labor, that might be difficult and end up distracting you even more.

Even if you have a friend close by that can come by your house while you are in labor to watch over the kids that might be the best.
My two older kids were both in the room for most (one of them for all of) my last labor, so I know how having them is. That's not really a concern for me. Figuring out what to do with them for a few hours isn't a big deal.

Quote:
Originally Posted by BirthDoulaToBe View Post
Hi Christen! Welcome to the board! I'm so excited to see you here!

I don't really have much to add, but just wanted to offer my support! I know of many families that have home births with their other children present! I agree that if possible, having someone assigned to help care for them may be helpful, but if not, I wouldn't let that keep you from choosing a HB...just my opinion.

For me, I've always wanted a HB, but after last time(in the hospital), I am SO looking forward to NOT having to drive to the hospital while in labor!(that was so uncomfortable!) and then just being in the comfort of my own home during and after labor!
haha I've only been in labor one time when I went to the hospital of the 3 births...but strangely, I don't remember that being a big deal (and I was 8cm dilated when I got to the hospital so I was really in labor and everything, lol.) Funny how things work out and what stands out like that, lol.
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  #9  
January 29th, 2010, 07:37 PM
LJD3Tdance's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Twhylite21 View Post
One reason we decided on a home birth is because it could be an issue finding someone to watch Lily. However, we are planning on having either my SIL or my best friend (or both) over when I go into labor to help with Lily in case she can't handle being around the labor/delivery, especially since she'll only be 19-20 months when the baby arrives. I want DH and I free to focus on labor and not have to worry about where Lily is, if she's eating, etc. Also, my midwives prefer if you have other kids that you have someone over who has the sole responsibility of watching them while you are laboring. They said that they have seen many mothers slow their labor down because they were worried about their other kids, etc.
Yeah, well ideally obviously we'd have somebody there, but I just don't know if it'll all land that way.
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  #10  
February 5th, 2010, 10:54 PM
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I haven't had a home birth yet, but I'm planning one for May in Las Vegas (well, we will actually have the baby at my midwife's house because we live 3 hours away). If you need a recommendation for a great midwife, I can help you out.
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