We pride ourselves on having the friendliest
and most welcoming forums for moms and moms to be! Please take a moment
for free so you can be a part of our growing community of mothers.
If you have any problems registering please drop an email to email@example.com.
Our community is moderated by our moderation team so you won't see spam or offensive messages posted on our forums. Each of our message boards is hosted by JustMommies hosts, whose names are listed at the top each board. We hope you find our message boards friendly, helpful, and fun to be on!
I am having such a hard time pulling the trigger and just going for a home birth. If it was completely up to DH he would do it in the hospital because he knows how supportive of a NCB they were with DS. Neither of us have any bad things to say really.
He is willing to do a home birth because that is what I want but I think he is struggling with it. He said it's my decision and he will support me no matter what. But I know the part that is bugging him is if the baby comes out and has a hard time breathing. The midwife can only do so much before paramedics arrive and he stresses over that extra time a home birth adds on to full medical help. And honestly that is a concern for me as well. Everything else I can deal with or justify because I have a history of low risk, uncomplicated births, quick ones at that. So the whole stalling out and transferring because I am just too tired isn't that big of a possibility.
How do you ladies make the decision? Are all your DH/SO's 100% on board with a home birth? If not do you worry he will be nervous during labor and therefore become a nervous labor coach? I don't want to bowl over DH just to get what I want because it's his baby and his baby's health at risk too, KWIM? Any advice?
My DH is 100% on board now as well. I think for him it helped that one of the midwives (there are 2 of them and both come to every birth) has her EMT certification. It just made him feel more comfortable about if there is an issue having to wait for the ambulance and she can do EMT stuff until then if necessary.
I think that if either one of you has these sort of "what if" questions, then you should talk to your midwife about what her protocol would be in that sort of situation. When my daughter, Kate, was born at home, she had some breathing difficulties. Her first apgar was a 5. My midwives were more than qualifies and prepared to handle the situation. Everyone remained calm, they did end up giving her a bit of oxygen and observing her for a bit.
Has he talked with a midwife? Sometimes having an interview and asking those questions that you have concerns about is very helpful. My midwife carries oxygen to births and is very qualified to handle a baby who is born not breathing.
Alison - Mom to: Augustus (1) Maximus (3) Eleanor (4) Reid (6) Evelyn (7) Lucas (12) Christopher (14)
Like the other ladies have said, most midwives are very prepared for emergency situations! It would be very beneficial for both you and your DH to confront her about your fears though! I'm sure she's had people ask these types of questions before!
My DH is 100% on board. He's a Paramedic, so in all honesty HE could deliver our baby...but we're going to have a midwife there, because the idea of being solely responsible of a loved one in the case of an emergency makes him nervous! Two heads are better than one!
My DH wasn't on board at first because he too thought it would be safer in the hospital but then we did more research and realized that for a low risk pregnancy it's actually safer at home.
My m/w came prepared with certain drugs, oxygen and other emergency equipment, same as the hospital. The only thing we didn't have access to is a c/s, and even then my m/w could have called the hospital 13 minutes away to tell them to prep an OR/OB while we transfered. You can't get an 'emergency' c/s much faster than that if you are laboring IN the hospital but you can certainly get a host of antibiotic resistant bacteria or caught in the red-tape and 'protocols' of the medicalized birth that CAUSE fetal distress. No thanks.
So since posting this originally we have decided we are not doing a home birth. We still both really like the option of home birthing and if our situation was different we would be 100% on board!
We did speak with a midwife, one of the best and most experience in our area. She would have come prepared with oxygen and other things in case of an emergency but she did mention that she cannot intubate. So she would try a couple things to stimulate breathing, use oxygen is needed and then call 911 within a short period of time. But if there was a real problem and the baby was just NOT breathing, DH really didn't like the extra time added on. Now honestly, this bothers me too, but I guess I am just trusting in God and in my history of uncomplicated pregnancies and births. I think if DH 100% behind me I would still choose a home birth.
But here is the good news. The OB I am using as well as the hospital I am delivering at is very supportive of a NCB. We had a great experience last time. They allowed me to get up and walk when I wanted, I labored in the large tubs they have in their birthing suite. They also have aroma therapy and birthing balls available to use. I even had my choice of pushing positions. The nursing staff was great. No one ever bugged me about drugs or anything like that. I even remember at the end of labor with DS, right before I started pushing I was hanging/squatting on DH and I heard my doc and the nurses whispering saying I was the "model" natural birthing person! =)
So knowing that this is our "hospital" option and knowing DH has this fear I just opted to keep going to my OB. Granted if I knew my doctor was against NCB or the hospital had a policy of making me lie down the whole time while pushing drugs on me... I would be out of there in 2 seconds flat!! The doctor I had with my DD literally laughed at me when I said I wanted a natural child birth! And this was a woman who was pregnant herself!!!
So, I will probably just stick to the NCB board. But it was really fun to lurk here (still will) and read all your birth stories! Thanks for all the advice!! =)