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May be trying a homebirth.... Need thoughts and advice


Forum: Home Birth

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  #1  
April 10th, 2010, 06:54 AM
sara~b's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Location: Pittsburgh PA
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Hi ladies! I've been lurking for a bit and I decided to come out and say hi and get some advice! I'm Sara, 25, married to Shane, 29, and mom to Gemma, 5, with another baby girl due in August.

Background: I had my DD in the hospital. I was only 19 and the only education on birth that I had was from my hospitals birth classes. I thought epidurals, constant monitoring, IV's, etc were all 'routine' and 'safe'. My birth with her wasn't horrible or anything but it was wonderful or empowering or any of that either. And I really didn't bond with her very well for a long time.

This time I have been on JM for 3.5 years and I know what I want: cloth diapering, breastfeeding, babywearing, NCB, etc. I was planning a NCB attempt at the hospital until I really started thinking about it the last couple weeks. I was GBS+ with DD. If I tested positive this time they would want me to have an IV and antibiotics which I don't want. I feel like once they have the IV in me the OB and nurses are going to push pitocin/stadol/whatever.

I'm also worried that they are going to put me on the monitors forever and I won't be able to move (this happened with DD) and then my labor will slow down and they will want to artificially break my water (again did this with DD). After my water was broken with Gem they wouldn't let me out of bed AT ALL. I was flat on my back screaming like a baby until I finally got the epidural (and when they sat me up for the epidural the pain STOPPED but by then I was not going to turn down pain meds since they would just lay me back down again). I wasn't in labor long at all before I started pushing. DD was pretty much crowning when all the sudden I saw a glint of metal and a spray of blood. My OB gave me a HUGE episiotomy and then yanked my daughter out. I had only been pushing for 10 minutes or so but it was dinner time and I guess the OB wanted out of there. That stupid episiotomy hurt for YEARS and still gets irritated during sex or when a tampon isn't quite straight.

This time I keep picturing me being able to move around, have no IV pole to drag around, eating and drinking whenever I want, no episiotomy, etc. I'm seriously considering an unassisted homebirth but I had a few ladies on my regular board (WTTC Grads) basically tell me I was stupid and putting my baby at risk for my comfort, etc. I've read the studies and I know that homebirth is actually safer than a hospital birth. I also know that I have already birthed an almost 9 pound baby vaginally once so there is no reason to think I couldn't do it again. I need some support, thoughts, advice, whatever from people who have BTDT (whether assisted or not) to help me decide what to do. I don't have the option of a birth center here and my delivering hospital would be a 30 minute drive minimum with no traffic and all green lights (there are other hospitals closer but my OB delivers at that one). So it's either home or hospital for me and the midwife practice associated with my OB turned me down as a client because my original OB (from DD) wanted to classify me as high risk at 6 weeks for no reason. The high risk label was removed by this OB and I also consulted a specialist who said there is nothing to make me high risk and DD's OB just wanted more money from my really expensive insurance. However, that stupid OB ruined my ability to get into the MW's practice this pregnancy. So unassisted is the only way I can have a homebirth.

Anyway, sorry this is so long. If you made it this far, thank you and thanks in advance for any advice, thoughts, etc.
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Sara, 27, married to Shane, 31, mom to Gemma, 6, and Ashlyn, born 8/7/10







Running for my health and sanity!
PR's: 5k-25:05 (old PR 25:10), 5M-45:03 (old PR - 47:22), 10k - 52:00 (approximate - training), HM-2:25:58 (ran a 2:17:36 during marathon), Full- 4:49:25 (old PR -5:49:40), 50k-7:05:56, 50M-13:31:14, 100k- 18:59:31 (old PR 20:56)
(All of these PR's are going down this season!)

My Pregnancy Chart: http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/1c6297
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  #2  
April 10th, 2010, 07:03 AM
c'est_la_vie's Avatar Is it nap time yet?
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Choosing the birth you want can be hard for other to really accept. Its just so accepted the pregnancy is a medical condition that needs constant interference - its so wrong. Birthing was done at home for for many more years then it was done in a hospital, so that alone goes to show that a home birth is just as safe.

And having a doctor cut you without even asking is disgusting. That makes me turn red with anger, why a doctor would act like they have the final say on YOUR body and YOUR laboring.

Have you considered having a doula present? Or seeing if you could hire on a midwife outright? I just think that it would be great to have that extra support there especially with this being your first home birth. If you do plan it unassisted, I just say make sure you have all the knowledge & tools needed to keep everything safe & that you have a great back up place in the case something goes wrong.
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  #3  
April 10th, 2010, 08:27 AM
BobbityBoo's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I think a doula is a great idea!! Having said that are you not able to speak with the midwife practice again since you are not considered high risk anymore? What about other midwife practices in your area? Ones that deal with home births?

But if all else fails I thinking having a doula with you is a great idea!
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  #4  
April 10th, 2010, 08:57 AM
jhmomofmany's Avatar Look! A Dancing Banana!
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Hi, welcome out of lurkdom.

I would encourage you to find somebody, either midwife or doula, to be with you if possible. I fully support unassisted birthing- have done it myself, in fact. But it is a decision to be made because you know it is right for you- not just because there seems to be no other choice. The first time we planned to go unassisted, that pregnancy ended up with us delivering our stillborn daughter ourselves at home at 36 weeks. That sort of thing is very rare, I'm sure... but if you are considering going on your own you really have to consider *every* possible outcome and your ability to remain at peace with your decision.

Point is, in the area of Pittsburg, there are almost certainly other midwives who would be willing to help you achieve the birth you want. It is worth it to explore all your options, and with four months to go you have plenty of time. Best wishes!
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  #5  
April 10th, 2010, 09:12 AM
sara~b's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Thanks ladies!

The midwife practice that turned me down is the only one within an hour or so of me that my insurance actually covers because they are associated with my OB. I will call them again Monday and see if they are willing to reevaluate the situation now.

My birth with DD would have been a dream if it hadn't been interfered with (maybe 5 years has given me rose colored glasses?) IMHO. I didn't know I was in labor but my induction was scheduled for that day (I was 40+4) so I had to do an NST. The monitor showed close, strong cx and I didn't feel a thing. The nurse checked and I was 5CM. I think if it wasn't for having scheduled my induction that day I may never have known I was in labor until either my water broke or transition hit. At either of those points it probably would have been too late to make it to the hospital anyway (DD was born like an hour after they broke my water).

Anyway, I'm not afraid to go it alone at all. And I have used the ambulance service here once for DD and they were here before I even got dressed and got her bundled up in a blanket. So I feel confident that if something wasn't going right that medical help could be here in a matter of minutes. None of this really matters if DH isn't on board (I haven't even brought it up until I get my mind straight on what I want and why) but I'm feeling more and more like having a home birth is a great option for us.

I will let you know what the MW practice says on Monday!
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Sara, 27, married to Shane, 31, mom to Gemma, 6, and Ashlyn, born 8/7/10







Running for my health and sanity!
PR's: 5k-25:05 (old PR 25:10), 5M-45:03 (old PR - 47:22), 10k - 52:00 (approximate - training), HM-2:25:58 (ran a 2:17:36 during marathon), Full- 4:49:25 (old PR -5:49:40), 50k-7:05:56, 50M-13:31:14, 100k- 18:59:31 (old PR 20:56)
(All of these PR's are going down this season!)

My Pregnancy Chart: http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/1c6297
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  #6  
April 12th, 2010, 12:42 PM
Twinkle's Avatar Platinum Super Mommy
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Keep us posted as to what the midwife practice says. I'd also look into midwives outside of your insurance plan, even lay midwives. A doula seems like a good idea as well. Please feel free to post here and get to know us all better!
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