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Currently right now we're at 50/50 of either having or not having our home birth. If we don't have it its not by choice but by things going on in our lives that would prevent it from happening. I'm healthy and fine, so is Bishop. Its just well, we may or may not have a house to do it in. Quite possibly we could be moving into my moms (recent events have happened and there is a possibility we may not have to move. the move would be our choice and advisement from my FIL. Its a big debacle that is hard to get into) and her house is just too small for us to have a successful home birth. She did offer us to do it there but there are her and my stepdad, their 3 dogs and 1 cat. Then we would be moving in, 4 of us, our 2 dogs and 3 cats. Lots of people/animals with a small house. I would love too but couldn't imagine doing it.
So if we are told not to move forward because we do trust my FIL and his opinion, we will have to have a hospital birth. 1. Because of the house and 2. We'd be losing money and that was suppose to pay for our birth. Its honesty one big mess and I can't handle the stress anymore.
I'm heart broken if I have to go back to the hospital. I need the stress to be over with honestly. Either way it goes, I need the stress to be over with.
Its part of why I haven't been around. I don't know why but I feel like since this may not be a home birth I can't hang out even though I have already have one successful home birth.
Oh I know its doable! But in my thought process and how I was during my last birth, I couldn't imagine sending all the animals away (because 4 shih-tzu's and 1 chocolate lab would be too much!) and making my mom leave her home. I like as minimal people there.
One good thing is that my midwife e-mailed me back and let me know that if it doesn't work out for a home birth this time her student would love to be our doula. Which would be great! That means I don't have to make Jason be my voice, he would be but i'd love his focus to be with me. Not yelling at doctors haha.
Unfortunately no, if we don't move forward with the house we won't have the money to pay my midwife. So its either everything does work out and I have my happy ending, or I have to go to the hospital and we move in with my mom temporarily :/