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to tell the neighbors or not..


Forum: Home Birth

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  #1  
May 24th, 2010, 12:53 PM
danischmell's Avatar Regular
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: SLC, UT
Posts: 57
Hi All,
it's been a while since I posted, I don't know if you remember me. I'm preg w #2 (first one was a birth center baby) and 37 weeks and planning a home birth. It's getting closer, so I'm trying to decide whether or not to tell our neighbors. I've read on a lot of advice forums about home births that said they warned their neighbors so they wouldn't freak out if they heard yelling or saw random people coming and going in the middle of the night.. so I'm thinking maybe I should... but I dunno. I'm not telling a ton of people that we are planning a home birth. I just don't need anyone else's baggage here. I'm only telling people that I feel will be supportive, and I have no idea what my neighbors would think. And I don't want them to think I'm too crazy, lol. I have to lives next to these people.. haha.

We aren't in an apartment or anything, but the houses are kind of close together... part of me thinks they won't even notice.. but then again.. maybe it would be nice to warn them, for them to have an idea what's going on... but i dunno...

what did you guys do??
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  #2  
May 24th, 2010, 02:54 PM
CameraLinds's Avatar Zane & Jude's mama
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: UK
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We didn't tell our neighbors, except mentioned it to our nicest/fave next door neighbor not to warn her but just saying we're having a home birth and she thought it was awesome! And asked about it. We lived in a 10 unit apartment complex with paper thin walls where you could hear everything. I knew because of this fact it would help keep me more quiet in labor, which it did and I wasn't very vocal- no screaming just some primal noises. No complaints from anyone....don't think our neighbors were home much, labor was from 7pm to 8pm, being hte last 4 hours most 'vocal'
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  #3  
May 24th, 2010, 03:00 PM
laisydaisymama's Avatar Natural Birth Junkie
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Texas
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hmmm....if you think there's a real chance that they would hear if you yelled inside the house, I would say something. If not, I wouldn't worry about it. Our houses are REALLY spread out, so I am not worried about it, the only neighbor that knows is the mom of my boys' best friend, and she will probably be keeping them during labor
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  #4  
May 24th, 2010, 03:06 PM
inyourhonor's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Metro Detroit
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Do you live in a connected town home/condo/apartment or do you live in a single home? Because maybe if you lived in a connected home you might want to warn with letting them know by a notice on your door or something. I wouldn't go door to door to notify people.

As for a single family home, nope. I didn't bother telling neighbors. Because honestly, if they hear me scream then they're stretching far to listen with how the homes are spaced out here.
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  #5  
May 24th, 2010, 03:10 PM
Effervescence's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Posts: 6,791
We've told a couple of people in the development. Some it was just in passing, while talking about the baby etc, and some it was because we wanted to make sure we had a backup plan for someone to watch our son "just in case." For the most part, the houses are pretty well secluded from one another. My birth pool is going to be set up right in front of huge glass doors looking out to the back yard, and I fully intend on having the blinds open (we have a pretty garden) I am not worried about someone hearing me or seeing me, but that's just how our houses are set up.

We didn't tell our immediate neighbors, because they are doctors (I'm surrounded by them!!! The one immediately across from us is an OB/GYN) and I just didn't want to deal with whatever judgment they'd pass
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  #6  
May 24th, 2010, 03:14 PM
laisydaisymama's Avatar Natural Birth Junkie
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Effervescence View Post
We didn't tell our immediate neighbors, because they are doctors (I'm surrounded by them!!! The one immediately across from us is an OB/GYN) and I just didn't want to deal with whatever judgment they'd pass
haha, I wouldn't tell either, but handy to know there's one right there!
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  #7  
May 24th, 2010, 04:44 PM
Twinkle's Avatar Platinum Super Mommy
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Location: New York
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We mentioned it to one of our neighbors who asked which hospital I'd be delivering at. After the birth, the news spread between a few of our neighbors. In fact, one woman came over a few days ago with a little gift and was sharing her stories about her NCBs, she had hers in a hospital but told me she had always wished she could have done it at home... she's my parents age.
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  #8  
May 24th, 2010, 06:35 PM
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Well - I only told my neighbour across the street because they asked which hospital I was going to. But um well our houses are close together - I had my bedroom window open - and people showed up the next day with a gift and others across the alley congratulated my husband. LOL. apparently I was a bit loud - at least I only pushed for 13 minutes . . .
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  #9  
May 25th, 2010, 09:28 AM
BobbityBoo's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sodagirl View Post
Well - I only told my neighbour across the street because they asked which hospital I was going to. But um well our houses are close together - I had my bedroom window open - and people showed up the next day with a gift and others across the alley congratulated my husband. LOL. apparently I was a bit loud - at least I only pushed for 13 minutes . . .
Hehe! Oops! At least they were nice and brought you presents and not angry faces!

We told our next door neighbor but that's because she wants a home birth too! And we told our across the street neighbor, but because he keeps sending his kid over completely unannounced with a note with his phone number!! Who does that??

We aren't telling anyone to warn them or anything. I don't think it should be a problem... we all keep to ourselves anyway (with the exception of crazy sending over his kid!).
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  #10  
May 25th, 2010, 09:38 AM
Isaeph's Avatar Jennifer the Momma
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We lived in a 4 apartment building with #2 and a townhouse with #3. I didn't tell the neighbors. Our neighbors with #2 were crackheads, so I didn't really care. Our neighbor with #3 was very nosy so I was a bit worried about her, but it turned out just fine. I'm not going to say anything this time either (duplex). We only share the kitchen wall and they're really nice...and he's hard of hearing. I suppose if she notices my belly eventually I'll say something. I just have never wanted someone to call 911 out of concern and me be like "nope, no emergency, go away".
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  #11  
May 25th, 2010, 10:47 AM
oriel13's Avatar Tishauna
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Location: Ohio
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I told our neighbors because even though the houses are single family they're pretty close together and parking could get crowded. We're on a government/military installation so strangers coming and going at odd hours is going to get people interested - I figured I'd head off any questions or nosiness now. Neither of the 2 families knew what to say when I told them (it was one of those reactions of "oh......well........you're brave." ) so I'm not expecting any more questions or interference.
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  #12  
May 26th, 2010, 06:21 PM
Voodoo Lady's Avatar Latin & Greek Professor
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I have made a big sign that I'm going to put out front of the house that says "do not disturb - we're having a homebirth etc." Thought about telling the neighbors, but kind of don't want to get any strange looks, so I haven't.

My midwife did have someone call the cops to come investigate a homebirth, but they were in an apartment complex.

I think I should tell them, but I don't get a long with one set of neighbors, so I'm avoiding it...
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  #13  
June 1st, 2010, 10:47 AM
Jillinebinny's Avatar Veteran
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Location: Washington
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I've thought about telling, but i don't think i will. We live in an apartment where there are 4 in our building (2 up, 2 down). But i haven't talked to ANY of our neighbors and we've lived here a year. I think it would be weird to all of a sudden go over and say we're having a homebirth....

Plus, i don't want to tell them and someone call the police because they don't think we're being safe and i get taken to a hospital by force...

But we'll probably have a sign on the door that says "do not disturb, labor in progress". That way we're not saying it's a homebirth, but they know we're having a baby
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  #14  
June 6th, 2010, 10:45 AM
edgeofelise's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 4,451
I plan on posting a sign on the door as well. We live in a highrise condo building that's pretty well insulated, plus our across the hall neighbor is never home, so I don't think it's going to be an issue. That said, I don't want to feel as though I have to be quiet--I'm laboring at home because I want to feel free to be myself, screams and all. I'm hoping the sign will at least keep people from calling the cops. I even thought about putting some cookies out for people in case they're peeved if it's the middle of the night...but my midwives do apartment births all the time and I'm sure they can handle anything that comes up. I've told DF that it's their job to worry about that stuff.
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  #15  
June 6th, 2010, 01:52 PM
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We've told all the neighbours at our end of the road both the EDD (which of course is past now) and that we are planning a homebirth, because our road is only 15ft across, and people park at the sides ALL THE TIME. We need access for people to get in OR out if need be, so everyone needed to know not to block access to our driveway for the last few weeks of May until the baby arrives now in June sometime. If we lived on a NORMAL sized road in a house then I probably wouldn't tell many people.
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  #16  
June 6th, 2010, 04:27 PM
inyourhonor's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hiskid1324 View Post
We've told all the neighbours at our end of the road both the EDD (which of course is past now) and that we are planning a homebirth, because our road is only 15ft across, and people park at the sides ALL THE TIME. We need access for people to get in OR out if need be, so everyone needed to know not to block access to our driveway for the last few weeks of May until the baby arrives now in June sometime. If we lived on a NORMAL sized road in a house then I probably wouldn't tell many people.
Yeah, I would have said something also. My brother lives on a narrow road in the city downstate and I couldn't do it. I was so afraid i'd hit 4 cars pulling out of his driveway when we were down there last time haha. He said it happens so often though.
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