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June 2nd, 2010, 03:25 PM
inyourhonor's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Metro Detroit
Posts: 17,591
I had to make the choice not to continue It was very hard but we still don't know what is going on, no answers and I can't keep dragging my midwife along with it.

I e-mailed her about my appointment with her yesterday if she wanted us to come or not. She said if we knew we were continuing with our home birth yes, otherwise no. It was kinda written for us but since we don't know, I couldn't go on. It sucks, I hate it but it is what it is. I'm heartbroken, absolutely heartbroken

I'm not okay with going to the hospital but I'm not okay going UC. Everyone is telling me it'll be okay but honestly right now it doesn't mean anything to me. Yes, as long as my baby is here healthy that is the best outcome but Its hard to describe how I feel because some would probably think I'm overreacting.

So this is it. My first appointment with a CNM is on the 8th. I have to get my records from my midwife to take with me. I have to be there at 8am to meet with the nurse then 9 is my appointment with the CNM. Its going to be a long, long day. I'm sure I'll be looked at like I'm crazy because of my list of questions.

That's it. I thought I would share

Killian Rivers born April 17th at 36 weeks

Killian's Birth Story
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June 2nd, 2010, 03:31 PM
navywifey2003's Avatar Home Birth Mama
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Clovis, CA
Posts: 37,167
Send a message via AIM to navywifey2003
Love you Marisa!!! Call me or text me if you need to talk. You know where to find me!

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June 2nd, 2010, 05:17 PM
laisydaisymama's Avatar Natural Birth Junkie
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Texas
Posts: 22,043
love you honey, you know I'm here.

homebirthing, tandem nursing, cosleeping, babywearing, picky vaxing, cloth diapering Christian doula mama


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June 2nd, 2010, 06:36 PM
Alison79's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Texas
Posts: 10,206
I am so sorry.
Alison - Mom to: Augustus (2) Maximus (3) Eleanor (5) Reid (6) Evelyn (8) Lucas (12) Christopher (14)
Baby Leo or Charlotte due 7/27
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June 3rd, 2010, 05:06 AM
CameraLinds's Avatar Zane & Jude's mama
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: UK
Posts: 23,138
awww i'm so sorry Marisa

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June 3rd, 2010, 07:25 AM
inyourhonor's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Metro Detroit
Posts: 17,591
Thanks I am so overwhelmed right now. I don't want to do this but I really have no other choice anymore. I really wish we both were comfortable with going UC but we're not.

My plan is to labor at home as long as possible and only get to the hospital in enough time to really just have the baby. I know they won't push pitocin on me, well I hope they won't anyways due to the fact I've already had a c-section.

I know that when I go to my first appointment I'm going to be looked at like I'm crazy because of what I am going to be asking per questions. Jason would go with me but we have nobody to watch the boys :/ I may call and see if I can't push the appointment back by 1 day and go from there. We'll see though. If I can do that, then Jason can go with me since my mom would have the day off.

There is a bunch of other things we have to think about now and like I already said, I'm just so overwhelmed

I also hope you guys don't mind me sticking around and posting about it here. I need to at least have some sort of connection with the home birth world while having to go this way.

Killian Rivers born April 17th at 36 weeks

Killian's Birth Story
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June 3rd, 2010, 10:50 AM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Bay Area CA
Posts: 19,074
I'm sorry!

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June 3rd, 2010, 11:24 AM
Twinkle's Avatar Platinum Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: New York
Posts: 57,412
I'm so very sorry, but really want you to keep posting here! I've always enjoyed having your insight and support. Please stay!

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June 4th, 2010, 08:57 PM
oriel13's Avatar Tishauna
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Ohio
Posts: 6,250
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I hope you have a good appointment though and they don't try to make you feel too crazy.

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