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Did your family members support your decision to have a HB? I can already tell its not going to go over well with my mom who is an RN. We were casually talking and BOBB today and Kyle chimed in and said its all about HB gave this great "talk." Well my moms response was HB thats a whole other group of weirdos. Dont even get me started. So we have decided we are not going to share our wishes for a HB with anyone outside of a few close friends and of course the ladies on JM at least for now. We will test the waters more later I was not surprised by her statement but it did upset me a little.
Our families were not accepting. Well, my SIL was accepting (my husbands sister) and that was about it. Everyone else had their thoughts, views and concerns. Concerns I could understand but the way I was spoken to at times really upset me. So keeping it under wraps from the majority is a very good idea.
In the end its your decision no matter what anyone else feels on the matter. My SIL told me that my MIL wanted to talk us out of it with Dane. We have actually never spoken about his home birth. My FIL thinks its awesome and is excited we're doing it again haha.
You will always encounter those who think we're weirdos, its dangerous to baby and you, stupid, idiotic and etc. But the same can be said for those who go to the hospital. Nobody will agree and honestly its nobodies decision but yours. I don't judge those who choose a hospital birth. I have had one, it was a horrible one but i would never ever tell someone they're a weirdo for choosing to go that way.
You have meeeee to talk too I got your text by the way. I need to save it though haha.
Marisa (29) married to J (34), mama to G (9), D (6), B (4) and K (1).
I never received a negative comment about having a HB, but I knew there was underlying tension/questions about it. People know that when it comes to this and parenting I'm pretty set in my way and don't take criticism from ignorance well.
We have almost all our family's support, but I think that is largely due to DH being a Paramedic...His dad (who has 11 children, does NOT handled bodily fluids well at all, and is a firm believer of "Dr knows best") tells him all the time, "Well, you're in a much better position for that kind of stuff than I ever was". (meaning, I wouldn't ever consider it, and probably wouldn't even recommend it to any one else, but because you have emergency training, you're the exception)
My MIL is an RN and probably thinks I"m a nutcase when it comes to a homebirth... in fact when she found out there was a true knot in Paul's cord, she immediately told Paul about how babies die from that ALL THE TIME, in FRONT of my midwives... whatever... its such a rare occurrence, that being in the hospital wouldn't change that regardless. My parents aren't overly supportive of home birth, but are of NCB. My mom had my sister and I in a birthing center, so she's totally on board with NCB... she isn't opposed to home birth, but just never knew anyone who had done it before either...
My family knows how stubborn I am I actually have been catching way more flack for how I raise my DD - very AP. like co-sleeping etc. SO just a heads up - the opinions NEVER end LOL! - oh and I liked to use this study when people wanted to know if it was safe: http://www.cmaj.ca/cgi/reprint/181/6-7/377.pdf
Recent Canadian study that found a planned home birth with a midwife is as safe as a planned hospital birth when it comes to really bad stuff happening and safer when it comes to the less bad stuff (episiotomies tearing etc) happening. Only thing you get more of is babies being admitted to hospital - which makes sense because - if they weren't born there and need to go in it counted vs babies who were born there and had some stuff done while they were there.
Thank you Kiliki for my first beautiful Siggie!
mom of 2 angels and an earth baby
We didn't tell anyone except those we knew would support us. My mother was pissing all overherself like an excited poodle at the hospital when my son was born. There was NO WAY I was going to tell her about our planned hb. My MIL made some horrid comments when I was toying with the idea of hb with my son, so they got the 'she's here' call too. My girlfriend babysat our ds while I labored at home and we notified family when the baby was born. We told them I was in labor and that we would call with updates etc. but we just called after she was born!
I was a VHBAC hopeful but ended up transferring to the hospital for pain management.
I had my DH's support and that was basically it. My IL's thought that I was going to kill myself or baby, that I was putting me and baby in unnecessary danger and that I should just conform and go ahead and schedule a ERC. My mother kept telling me that I wouldn't last 5 minutes at home because she "just knew the pain level wasn't something that I'd be able to deal with". (I transferred after 18 hrs of labor!) We had a lot of people that got down on us because of us wanting a VHBAC. In the end, I'm glad I at least tried to have a HB because I really think it bought me time since I was a full 7 days past my EDD when DS3 was born!