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  #1  
August 13th, 2010, 10:08 AM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 9,490
Did any of you just flat up tell hubby/SO I AM having a homebirth? Don't get me wrong...I want him included on the plans....but I think the thing I'm most worried about if we have another baby (when, more like) is that I DONT want to go back to the hospital (the birthing center we used closed)....I have told him that we don't need approval from the landlord...and that it's not messy...I said EVERYONE I've talked to on here said it's not messy LOL....and he said We AREN'T going to have a homebirth....

I'm to the point that I feel like saying YES we are....LOL...Anyone else been here?
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Martha
Momma to Emma, Elzie, Gretchen, Olive, and Rogan

We aren't to give a baby milk, berries, or peanut butter. We are to introduce new foods one at a time. But it's OK to inject several viruses, bacteria, aluminum, formaldehyde, phenoxyethanol, animal serum, mercury, squalene and more into an 8 week old? I don't think so.
In order to be healthy it is an unfortunate fact that people must be allowed the opportunity to be ill. I trust my body and those of my children to work correctly against the relatively benign diseases they vax for, and do not trust the ingredients in the vaccinations.
Our choice to not vax isn't based in ignorance, poverty, conspiracy theory and rumor. It's research, common sense, fact and evidence based..something the medical community has largely forgot about.
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  #2  
August 13th, 2010, 11:58 AM
inyourhonor's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Metro Detroit
Posts: 17,592
You could say I flat out told him that. I told him I was NOT going back to a hospital and he could NOT force me to do so. I explained my reasons, my fears and everything. I told him that he can have the choice of where a baby is born when he magically grows a vagina, uterus and all that fun stuff then pushes it out himself. It was my body, I had to go through it again, I wasn't going to go back to the place i feared.

He tried to fight me, he made me make an appt with a CNM (I wouldn't agree to an OB at the time) but he also said I could make an appt for a midwife that did home births. He would go and talk to her. He did. He left there so comfortable after talking to her he told me to cancel my appointment with the CNM we'd go the home birth route.

His was mainly over a concern of me. How our first childs birth had gone. He wanted to make sure I'd be okay and honestly his concerns and feelings were very validated. He just had to have faith in me that I could do it and knew what I was doing. He did and we successfully had our home birth in Nov of 08 and are planning our 2nd one to happen honestly, any time now.

I feel husbands have a say but they don't get the final say. Mine didn't clean up any of the messes. He did blow up and fill the tub for me and helped empty it but that was it. The rest, our midwives took care. They did laundry after the birth. They cooked us food, and helped tidy up a bit. They were so wonderful and caring, so helpful after he was born.

I had to explain my feelings to him and he had to understand that the choice wasn't just his where the baby was born. It was more mine then his, he had a say, he had every right to his feelings but he had to be open into hearing mine. He came around obviously but he was very stubborn. I even went far as saying if he was going to be like my dad and ban me from doing something like this, I just wouldn't tell him when I was in labor (given he had been at work haha). He got the picture and we both made a compromise.

I hope your husband will come around to hearing you! Its frustrating when they don't even listen to what we have to say.
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  #3  
August 13th, 2010, 12:46 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 9,490
THanks for your story! I am hoping when it really IS something we have to look at (like we get a bfp) then he'll be more cooperative.....Since we had one out of hossy birth I'm praying he'll be more supportive of it, once it's actually reality....ya know....

I guess the thing is, I want to start saving a little here and there for it....so that when/if we do get pregnant it's not about the cost....it's just getting him to agree to that....we'll see!

Thanks again!
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Martha
Momma to Emma, Elzie, Gretchen, Olive, and Rogan

We aren't to give a baby milk, berries, or peanut butter. We are to introduce new foods one at a time. But it's OK to inject several viruses, bacteria, aluminum, formaldehyde, phenoxyethanol, animal serum, mercury, squalene and more into an 8 week old? I don't think so.
In order to be healthy it is an unfortunate fact that people must be allowed the opportunity to be ill. I trust my body and those of my children to work correctly against the relatively benign diseases they vax for, and do not trust the ingredients in the vaccinations.
Our choice to not vax isn't based in ignorance, poverty, conspiracy theory and rumor. It's research, common sense, fact and evidence based..something the medical community has largely forgot about.
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  #4  
August 14th, 2010, 07:51 AM
HappyHippy's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Pavia, Italy
Posts: 5,959
Yup I did, but he is ak with that and likes that better than hospital.
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Started off 2013 homebirthing suprise twins Fia Celesta & Maddalena Isabella
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  #5  
August 14th, 2010, 12:03 PM
Twinkle's Avatar Platinum Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: New York
Posts: 57,412
I pretty much just told Dh as well. Prior to me getting pregnant, he became a police officer and our insurance changed. Our new insurance did not cover the midwife I used previously or the birthing center I had used.... therefore when I got pregnant I told him that there was no way I was going back to the awful hospital I had my first at, so I'd be having a homebirth.
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  #6  
August 14th, 2010, 07:15 PM
Earthy.Mama's Avatar .*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.
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Posts: 14,029
Well, we talked a lot during our second pregnancy and after our m/c we knew we were going to continue to try. After having Kailey I researched a lot about homebirth so over those few years he knew enough about it that he wanted to support me no matter what. He is even a bit of an advocate for it now
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  #7  
August 14th, 2010, 10:50 PM
Isaeph's Avatar Jennifer the Momma
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Boise!
Posts: 16,196
I didn't tell him flat out, but I came to him, ready to beg and plead. I didn't want a hospital birth and he had consented to a birth center birth, but I just did not click with any of the 5 mw's there. There were more like MEDwives. And so I told him at 35ish weeks that I wanted to UC. I came into the conversation with all kinds of research (thanks pregnancy insomnia ) and he said he trusted me. Which was a REMARKABLE change from #1...when I first wanted to try a birth center and he was too afraid. Now we're getting ready for our third UC and he even talked to another guy at work a few years ago about UC and that guy and his wife ended up UCing with #1!
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  #8  
August 15th, 2010, 06:24 AM
CameraLinds's Avatar Zane & Jude's mama
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: UK
Posts: 23,138
Nope...he was the one who actually said to me when we were dating he wanted his kids to be not be born in a hospital
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  #9  
August 15th, 2010, 09:11 AM
mommabirdof4
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Yes, I did!!!!

I told him that this next lil one will be born at home...I am not giving him an option. His main cocern of course is cost since our insurance doesn't cover a penny of a homebirth. But honestly it will be cheaper in the long run and we will find a way to pay for it. I think we may end up borrowing the money from my dad...since my MW doesn't let you make payments after the baby is born.
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