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  #1  
October 7th, 2010, 07:30 AM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 9,490
Ok ladies...If you at all have been following my posts....I'm a hopeful homebirther with a hubby that doesn't want one....

I made him sit through The Business of Being Born (which it'd been a few years since I'd seen it and so I said "I dont think there is much "boobs and vaginas" I think it's more about the hospital vs homebirth/midwife safety)...HA....there was lots of boobs and vaginas (in his opinion)....he loves being there for MY births but doesn't care to see other women birth. LOL...I just found that funny....

ANYWAY...after it was over I asked what he thought...He said "I've never been against midwives just against homebirths" I said, dear, midwives cannot deliver in the hospital (around here)....So then he said "well then find somewhere else to deliver"....grr...I said "yeah, I want to deliver in someone ELSES house..."...grr...

I did tell him that it takes approx 30 minutes for them (the hossy) to get a surgical team ready...so "they" say it's recommended to be within that distance of the hospital for a homebirth...so that by the time you get there they are ready anyway....it's no quicker than being there. We are right at that mark....if driving speed limits LOL...

Anyway....He said NO again (still hasn't read my info I've printed yet)....but anyway...He went to the garage to play his guitar...which he does when he's thinking or mad or whatever....he came back in and I was "pouty"...he asked "what? did you think i'd just say FINE and have your way"....I said no...but I thought you'd think about it and consider it and give me a GOOD reason why NOT....(which he could not do)...

Finally after a bit he was just like "whatever, do whatever you want"....all flip and such....

I just dont know what to do....I could take that and RUN with it....having the 'yes' I needed....even though it's not really a heart felt YES...it's still a yes of sorts....

But seriously I do want him on board...not just "allowing" me to do it...but I dont think that will happen. I even offered to interview the midwife and then turn around and interview the OB...both with him there....and see what he thought....He didn't want to do that...he just said just do whatever....

UGH....I didn't want to "wear him down" and MAKE a yes come out of him but I did want him to take me seriously and actually THINK about it...CONSIDER it...and come up with logical reasons why he was against it...not "because I dont want it" like he kept saying.

BLAH...anyway...sorry this is long...what would YOU do?
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Martha
Momma to Emma, Elzie, Gretchen, Olive, and Rogan

We aren't to give a baby milk, berries, or peanut butter. We are to introduce new foods one at a time. But it's OK to inject several viruses, bacteria, aluminum, formaldehyde, phenoxyethanol, animal serum, mercury, squalene and more into an 8 week old? I don't think so.
In order to be healthy it is an unfortunate fact that people must be allowed the opportunity to be ill. I trust my body and those of my children to work correctly against the relatively benign diseases they vax for, and do not trust the ingredients in the vaccinations.
Our choice to not vax isn't based in ignorance, poverty, conspiracy theory and rumor. It's research, common sense, fact and evidence based..something the medical community has largely forgot about.
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  #2  
October 7th, 2010, 07:38 AM
HippyMomOf4's Avatar Hippy Mom Extraordinaire
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Tulare, CA
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Have him meet the midwife with you that really seemed to get my DH on board. He was still on the fence when i told him i wanted to do it but after the meeting he was 100% on board I hope that he comes around, i know if DH would have still not been ok with my doing it i woulda ended up in the birth center by my house
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  #3  
October 7th, 2010, 07:56 AM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 9,490
He'd rather a birth center but there isn't any in MO
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Martha
Momma to Emma, Elzie, Gretchen, Olive, and Rogan

We aren't to give a baby milk, berries, or peanut butter. We are to introduce new foods one at a time. But it's OK to inject several viruses, bacteria, aluminum, formaldehyde, phenoxyethanol, animal serum, mercury, squalene and more into an 8 week old? I don't think so.
In order to be healthy it is an unfortunate fact that people must be allowed the opportunity to be ill. I trust my body and those of my children to work correctly against the relatively benign diseases they vax for, and do not trust the ingredients in the vaccinations.
Our choice to not vax isn't based in ignorance, poverty, conspiracy theory and rumor. It's research, common sense, fact and evidence based..something the medical community has largely forgot about.
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  #4  
October 7th, 2010, 12:24 PM
marialena's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Fort Collins, CO
Posts: 493
I would also have him meet with a midwife, after you have already met with and like the midwife.
It always shocks me when the husband seems to be the decider in where the woman will deliver the baby...

I really hope it turns out in your favor. Good luck!
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  #5  
October 7th, 2010, 03:15 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 9,490
Thanks girls...yeah...I already plan on him meeting her...but I dont think it will matter...he isn't foreign to midwives we had one last time....just the homebirth part since it's not at a birthing center. *sigh*....Thanks for the input
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Martha
Momma to Emma, Elzie, Gretchen, Olive, and Rogan

We aren't to give a baby milk, berries, or peanut butter. We are to introduce new foods one at a time. But it's OK to inject several viruses, bacteria, aluminum, formaldehyde, phenoxyethanol, animal serum, mercury, squalene and more into an 8 week old? I don't think so.
In order to be healthy it is an unfortunate fact that people must be allowed the opportunity to be ill. I trust my body and those of my children to work correctly against the relatively benign diseases they vax for, and do not trust the ingredients in the vaccinations.
Our choice to not vax isn't based in ignorance, poverty, conspiracy theory and rumor. It's research, common sense, fact and evidence based..something the medical community has largely forgot about.
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  #6  
October 7th, 2010, 05:16 PM
Twinkle's Avatar Platinum Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: New York
Posts: 57,412
I understand you wanting him to be pro-homebirth, I wanted that too... I had to settle for "do whatever you want" in the beginning, and then using the whole pregnancy to turn him around. He was still nervous at the end, but my midwives answered all his "what if" questions and made him feel comfortable. He is happy we chose home birth now, but it took him a while to turn around. I would move forward with your plans to have a home birth.
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  #7  
October 8th, 2010, 12:29 AM
laisydaisymama's Avatar Natural Birth Junkie
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Texas
Posts: 22,043
I took "do whatever you want" and ran with it. He now agrees it was the best choice ever.

Tell him he can drink beer during labor. My DH liked that part



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  #8  
October 8th, 2010, 07:56 AM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 9,490
bwa ha ha ha ha! That might help LOL....

Last night he started singing a different tune...I'm SO happy about it....I definitely think it's doable now...he was talking about how doctors are for sick people and hospitals are for sick people....He did say that one reason he was so hesitant is from what other people would say...so he wants me to keep it on the down low...only a select few will know....so that we dont have to hear it...I'm more of the opinion...I'll tell them how it is....BUT his family can be hard to manage...our decision not to vax put them in an upheaval....I'm sure this would do the same...so I'm with him....but afterward I'm shouting it from the rooftops...LOL
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Martha
Momma to Emma, Elzie, Gretchen, Olive, and Rogan

We aren't to give a baby milk, berries, or peanut butter. We are to introduce new foods one at a time. But it's OK to inject several viruses, bacteria, aluminum, formaldehyde, phenoxyethanol, animal serum, mercury, squalene and more into an 8 week old? I don't think so.
In order to be healthy it is an unfortunate fact that people must be allowed the opportunity to be ill. I trust my body and those of my children to work correctly against the relatively benign diseases they vax for, and do not trust the ingredients in the vaccinations.
Our choice to not vax isn't based in ignorance, poverty, conspiracy theory and rumor. It's research, common sense, fact and evidence based..something the medical community has largely forgot about.
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  #9  
October 8th, 2010, 09:28 AM
HappyHippy's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Pavia, Italy
Posts: 5,959
If he starts flipping out again tell him that you need to talk. No walking away to the garage, that you're going to sit down like adults and talk about this, this is something that needs to be talked about, hopefully before labor starts. Ask him why he is so hesitant, and then be ready with information.
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Started off 2013 homebirthing suprise twins Fia Celesta & Maddalena Isabella
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  #10  
October 8th, 2010, 03:21 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 9,490
Thanks Jenn...I kind of did that recently already....I also will make him write down any q's for the midwife before we go for the appt (prayerfully they'll do an appt on a day he can be there) and then get the questions answered from "the horses mouth" lol....

I had to reassure him that it's not like it's just someone there to witness the birth...they are trained in resuscitation and the minor emergencies (like shoulder dis. and hemorrhage...even though hemorrhage isn't "minor" but it's not always something that requires the hospital)....I told him they pack an O2 tank and they have pitocen injections for hemorrhage uses...etc....I think that helped...and then us not telling anyone (unless I know they'll be supportive)....and the idea that hospitals are filled with germs....lol...

NOW....if by the off chance this is more than one baby...I'm doomed to the hospital...If both babies were head down I'd even do a homebirth then but midwives wont touch me LOL...and dh would put his foot down there....So we'll see. I guess! LOL
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Martha
Momma to Emma, Elzie, Gretchen, Olive, and Rogan

We aren't to give a baby milk, berries, or peanut butter. We are to introduce new foods one at a time. But it's OK to inject several viruses, bacteria, aluminum, formaldehyde, phenoxyethanol, animal serum, mercury, squalene and more into an 8 week old? I don't think so.
In order to be healthy it is an unfortunate fact that people must be allowed the opportunity to be ill. I trust my body and those of my children to work correctly against the relatively benign diseases they vax for, and do not trust the ingredients in the vaccinations.
Our choice to not vax isn't based in ignorance, poverty, conspiracy theory and rumor. It's research, common sense, fact and evidence based..something the medical community has largely forgot about.
Reply With Quote
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