Log In Sign Up

home birth v. birthing center


Forum: Home Birth

Notices

Welcome to the JustMommies Message Boards.

We pride ourselves on having the friendliest and most welcoming forums for moms and moms to be! Please take a moment and register for free so you can be a part of our growing community of mothers. If you have any problems registering please drop an email to boards@justmommies.com.

Our community is moderated by our moderation team so you won't see spam or offensive messages posted on our forums. Each of our message boards is hosted by JustMommies hosts, whose names are listed at the top each board. We hope you find our message boards friendly, helpful, and fun to be on!

Reply Post New Topic
  Subscribe To Home Birth LinkBack Topic Tools Search this Topic Display Modes
  #1  
February 2nd, 2011, 01:11 AM
Quantum_Leap's Avatar frequent flier
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Seattle area, Washington
Posts: 9,747
Long story short, it looks like these are going to be our two primary options for baby #2 (due July 23rd). DH and I had a big argument today about which one to go with, and I'm looking for some outside opinions/advice.

Personally, I'm not really ideologically committed to one option over the other; I think that they're both fantastic options, and honestly as long as I can keep away from a hospital I'll be happy. Truly the ONLY reason I prefer to have a homebirth over going to a birthing center is finances. We don't have any insurance in the United States, so whatever we choose to do we're paying for it out of pocket. With the midwife practice we're using, the midwife fee is $2500 and the facility fee for using their birthing center is an extra $2500. So by birthing at home, we could save ourselves $2500. I am the primary breadwinner in our family, I hate my job, and I keep telling my husband, that month I spent working to earn that $2500 was far more painful than labor will be! Plus, my first birth was ridiculously fast and easy (3 hours from start to finish, and DS was born after only an hour at the hospital), so I'm guessing this one will go the same way. I really can't stand the thought of shelling out $2500 if we end up spending only an hour at the center total. (Although I will admit that I toured the center today, and their rooms are very beautiful).

DH is (mostly) on board with the idea of birthing outside of a hospital, although he thinks that he is being generous by 'letting' me do that. But he really, really, really, really does not like the idea of a home birth. He wants to go to the birthing center. I've tried to explain to him that in terms of access to medical expertise, tools for emergencies, etc., there is absolutely NO DIFFERENCE between a home birth and the birthing center, but he really doesn't get it. I think that he is secretly hoping that the birthing center will be the same as a hospital (or like a 'hospital light.') Honestly, birth makes him incredibly squeamish, and he tries to spend as little time thinking about it as possible. So he keeps insisting on the birthing center, and when I push him for his reasons why, all he can come up with is 'birth is messy' and 'who will clean up our house if you get blood on the floor?' Seriously, of all the things to fixate on.....we are just coming from completely different worlds I guess.

So I'm wondering if any of you have any other resources to point to or arguments to make in favor of home birth over a birthing center. I'm figuring that since they're both non-interventionist, peaceful settings, the rates of complications, hospital transfers, etc. would be about the same. What else can I say to convince DH? The money is all that matters to me, but it doesn't seem to matter to my DH at all, so I need something else!
__________________

Thank you to the SSMC makers for my beautiful siggies!

(x2)(x2)(October 2011)
Reply With Quote
  #2  
February 2nd, 2011, 06:29 AM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Michigan
Posts: 26,277
What is messier - a planned home birth or having the baby in the car on the way to the birth center?

That's a hard one, and I'm actually kind of in the same boat. I started going to the birth center from my last birth and am considering a home birth now. I was under the impression I could get a home birth with them, but now the chances seem slim, so I need to decide if I want to stick with them or find a HB midwife. DH still seems to feel iffy about a home birth, even though he knows it is just as safe. I'm not sure what it is about it, but I guess the idea of being home they still can't get past. The biggest difference in my mind is the fact that with a home birth, I can relax more. I don't have to worry about the 1/2 hour drive to the birth center while in labor. My last labor was 6 hours, not quite as quick as yours, but I do worry about having an even faster labor (3-4 hours) and trying to make it there in time.

As for the mess, I asked a friend of mine who recently had a home birth and she said the midwife did it all. She cleaned everything up, put some laundry in, and drained the tub after the birth. They didn't have to worry about anything.
__________________
Andrea, mom to 3 beautiful girls - Abigail (8) Annabelle (5) and Alexis (3)

Expecting baby #4!



Reply With Quote
  #3  
February 3rd, 2011, 07:52 AM
Kelllilee's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Washington State
Posts: 12,934
Send a message via AIM to Kelllilee
as far as the mess, my midwives did ALL of that. My house was cleaner when they left than before the birth.

To be totally honest, during my second birth (planned birth center) I started wanting a homebirth. And I had similar concerns, along with the concern of finding a new provider halfway through my pregnancy. I ended up going to the birth center. My first thought after the birth and we settled in was "Why the HECK did I bother coming here??". The only difference was that I had to get in the car and drive somewhere while in labor, then get back in the car and drive home after a few hours. It just seemed pointless and annoying to do that.

I'm not sure on how to convince your hubby if you do want a homebirth, but that's just my perspective.
__________________
Kellisa, Mama to:
Courtney, Nola, Kya, and Whitney

Breastfeeding Peer Counselor, training to be an IBCLC!




Reply With Quote
  #4  
February 3rd, 2011, 09:45 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 3,300
My husband was the same way until the midwife informed him that giving birth at home is actually safer than in the birth center.

The reason is because the baby will be born into our environment, meaning our germs. Things the baby's immune system needs to get used to. The baby's fragile immune system will be born into your germs and not those of many families that birthed there before you.

In addition(and this could be interpreted as theory rather than fact) a homebirth has less of a chance of problems that could arise from your stress.

The reason for this is because generally women have better labors and birth when they are relaxed and comfortable.
Where are you most relaxed? At home! Wouldn't it be nice to spend labor walking on your deck, sitting in your tub, eating from your fridge, playing with your dog, etc...? At a birth center, sure you can move around, but it's not YOUR place. If you have a long labor, you'll be bored and uncomfortable.
My husband liked the idea that he would even be able to watch football and grill a steak while I'm in labor.


It sounds like your husband is just not educated on homebirth. Does your midwife have some literature he can read about it? All the equipment and supplies they have at the birth center, they bring to your home. And just like the birth center, the midwife does the cleaning. Think of it as your home turning into a birth center.
Reply With Quote
  #5  
February 3rd, 2011, 11:31 PM
Quantum_Leap's Avatar frequent flier
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Seattle area, Washington
Posts: 9,747
Thanks, ladies. I talked to my DH about it some more today, gave him all of the arguments you listed (especially about not wanting to give birth in the car -- I remember that with DS #1, the car ride to the hospital was one of the most painful parts of the labor, and that was a much shorter ride than this one would be!), and he couldn't come up with much in response. All he could really do is shake his head and say 'homebirth just seems weird.' But I think I'm going to end up winning him over. At the end of the day, he cares about it less than I do, which means I can keep up the fight for longer!

Part of the problem, lrowe, is that this actually isn't our home, so I really can't claim that it's where I would feel more comfortable. If I had a homebirth, it would be at my mom's house in the U.S. over the summer. DH and I actually live in a tiny apartment in China, so homebirth there isn't an option! (No one to attend). I think that's actually part of the problem, is that my DH doesn't want to do the birth at my mom's house, because he thinks we'll be imposing on my mom. But she's very supportive of it. Honestly, she's just glad that we're not having the baby in China, and she'd offer absolutely any facility that was available to her to make sure that that's what happens!
__________________

Thank you to the SSMC makers for my beautiful siggies!

(x2)(x2)(October 2011)
Reply With Quote
  #6  
February 5th, 2011, 10:26 AM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Michigan
Posts: 26,277
I honestly think the only thing blocking them mentally from agreeing to a home birth is that it's not "normal". What will people say? Even though it is just as safe, I think it's also hard for them to feel "safe" in a medical way, at home - I think some men just need to get past that mental aspect of it to really feel comfortable with the idea.

DH and I will be discussing this over the next week before I meet with the HB midwife, so if you manage to convince yours, I'd love to know how you did it! I really want to respect him and take into consideration what he is going to be comfortable with, but I don't see a logical reason why he shouldnt' be either, since a home birth IS just as safe as giving birth at the birth center.
__________________
Andrea, mom to 3 beautiful girls - Abigail (8) Annabelle (5) and Alexis (3)

Expecting baby #4!



Reply With Quote
  #7  
February 5th, 2011, 07:28 PM
thepinkleprechaun's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 10,988
Send a message via MSN to thepinkleprechaun
I would really love to have a home birth. DH doesn't mind one way or the other, but he doesn't like the ONLY hb midwife in our town. I am still trying to convince him that we should do it anyways because the birth center is 1 hour away!
__________________
Katie- mom to Aden (5) Phineas (3) and Phoebe Violet (1)
Reply With Quote
  #8  
February 7th, 2011, 10:46 AM
Quantum_Leap's Avatar frequent flier
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Seattle area, Washington
Posts: 9,747
Quote:
Originally Posted by andi2284 View Post
I honestly think the only thing blocking them mentally from agreeing to a home birth is that it's not "normal". What will people say? Even though it is just as safe, I think it's also hard for them to feel "safe" in a medical way, at home - I think some men just need to get past that mental aspect of it to really feel comfortable with the idea.

DH and I will be discussing this over the next week before I meet with the HB midwife, so if you manage to convince yours, I'd love to know how you did it! I really want to respect him and take into consideration what he is going to be comfortable with, but I don't see a logical reason why he shouldnt' be either, since a home birth IS just as safe as giving birth at the birth center.
Yeah, that's actually what he keeps saying the more I press him. 'It's just weird.' But I figure it's important to fight this fight now, because if I end up with a successful home birth this time, then I'm sure he'll 'let me' do it again for any subsequent pregnancies! So I'm not giving up!
__________________

Thank you to the SSMC makers for my beautiful siggies!

(x2)(x2)(October 2011)
Reply With Quote
Reply

Topic Tools Search this Topic
Search this Topic:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 11:29 PM.



Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0