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Hi, I hope you dont mind my dropping in here. My name is Bree and I just found out we are expecting baby #2. I would like to have a home birth but my DH is not so keen on the idea, do you have any experience or advice on how to get him on board? I know ultimately its my choice but i would really like him to be comfortable with the choice as well.
I'm in the same boat. I was planning on birthing with my midwives group in hospital. I've always wanted a home birth but could never convince DH. Now 37 weeks along...with baby #4 (and definitely last baby) Our insurance changed on us which would force us to change to an OBGYN. And even change hospitals.
I'm am not happy about this and told my DH that I will be birthing at home. Unassisted -because the closet midwife -that will do home birth- is about 2.5 hours away.
So I am quickly throwing things together to prepare for a homebirth, even though my husband is not on board. I'll probably do an "oops, i didn't make it to the hospital in time"....
I've had my first 3 kids in Hospital with midwives and done the whole all-natural birthing (no interventions- what-so-ever)...so I feel confident enough to do it again. Just at my home, with no one but my mom and husband.
Good luck with trying to convince your DH... I think there's a sticky with stories and facts to convince the DH here. If that doesn't work...like you said, it's ultimately up to you. And I'm taking that literally. I don't care if I have support at all. I WILL have the birth experience I desire, for my baby and my own safety.
My DH wasn't on board at first, but he was willing to listen to my reasons, to talk about his concerns and meet potential midwives. We set up an initial consult with 2 midwives and my DH got to ask his questions, all his "what ifs" and insurance questions. I found that those were DH's biggest concerns... what happens in an emergency and who pays for what. Once he found out the answers, he was happy with them and accepted my choice. Maybe your DH needs the same sorts of answers and support. I would suggest finding midwives in your area to meet with.
Hi, Bree--I recognize your siggy from the October Due Date of the Month group We're expecting baby #1 (due Oct. 4th) and are planning a home birth. I've been lurking on the home birth board for a couple days and came across your message...
My DH was definitely not keen on the idea of doing a home birth initially, but his mind changed a lot when we:
1. met with the midwives. He had no idea how incredibly skilled and experienced they would be. The midwives that we're working with provided a really detailed account of their training and experience. They also provided answers to a lot of typically asked questions (e.g., transfer rate, etc.). This put his mind at ease a lot.
2. watched "The Business of Being Born". Seriously, this was what really convinced him in the end and helped him to truly understand all of the reasons why I don't want to deliver in a hospital.
My DH's bday was just a couple weeks ago, and a friend of ours got him the book, "The Birth Partner" by Penny Simkin. I think reading more about what his role can and will be during labor also helped to put his mind at ease.
My dh wasn't for it at first and still has his doubts but he doesn't try and argue LOL. We talked a lot about it and then set up a consult with a homebirth midwife and he was ok after talking.to her. Good luck!
Talk to him about it. Tell him why you want a HB, and then let him talk to you about it. Let him tell you his fears, worries, etc. Set up an appointment with a Midwife and bring him along so he can ask her any questions he has.
Mama to G, L & twins F & M
Started off 2013 homebirthing suprise twins Fia Celesta & Maddalena Isabella
This is the study/article DH used to convince me LOL! And it convinced one of my friend's husbands too: http://www.cmaj.ca/cgi/reprint/181/6-7/377.pdf
It's done in BC, Canada, where midwives are trained professionals funded by government health care.
Thank you Kiliki for my first beautiful Siggie!
mom of 2 angels and an earth baby