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Hi girls! My name is Megan and I have one DS, Gabriel, who is 15 months old.
DH and I have started talking about TTC this summer and that has brought up a lot of research for me concerning my next birth experience. I would have never before considered a home birth, until the birth of my son. It was absolutely hellatious to say the least: After 18 hours of agonizing labor, completely unnecessary interventions that were all "hospital procedure", not allowing my body to do what it was already doing and needing to do on its own, having absolutely zero say in what happend to me or my experience, an "emergency" and unplanned c-section and an even worse and painful 2-3 week recovery later....the thought of going through it all again simply scares me s***less!!
I have visited with and interviewed several Dr. practices within the last few weeks, but none of them are giving me the feeling that they will seriously let me try for the VBAC I so badly want. And what bothers me even more is they make excuses for the way I was treated during my previous birth and act as if it was normal. All of this has led me to the complete other side of the spectrum to look at midwives practices...which eventually led me to research the possibility of a home birth.
Everyone I talk to about this thinks I'm crazy. Everyone is seriously concerned about the safety of me and future baby. "What if someone goes wrong?" I'm not close to a hospital (about 25 minutes). And truth be told, not having the option of an epidural does terrify me. I don't feel I need to proove anything to myself or others. But the goal for me isn't having a 100% natural birth, the goal for me is being listened to, and having my wishes respected and not having an unnecessary repeat c-section. I'd rather have the pain for 18 hours of labor than for 3 weeks post-pardom to recover.
I'm sorry I'm rambeling...but this is where I'm at now and I really look forward to learning from you girls that have done the research already or have even been there already. I'm going to call two midwife practices tomorrow that do home births and ask them a lot of questions. From safety, to the possiblity and success of a VBAC, to insurance coverage and pricing....I have a lot of questions since I'm just starting this journey.
Last edited by Memi; January 13th, 2012 at 09:00 PM.
Welcome! So sorry you had a bad birth experience, it makes me so sad when I hear things like this. As far as home birth don't let others scare you out of what you really want. The first step would be to find a midwife that does VBAC's which most do, and to also meet with her and ask any questions that you might have. The biggest I would ask is their transfer rate, have any mom's or baby's passed in their care. What is there c-section rate. What kind of complications would they transfer your care for, do they bring oxygen, and other medical supplies in case an issue might arise. What is their protocol for post postpartum hemmorage.
I had my 4th child at home and it was an amazing experience and I would do it all over again in a heart beat
Thank you so much, I've added several of those questions to my list. I really appreciate all the knowledge and experience you guys have! I really need to research a lot more so that I can be 100% confident in my choice.
I had a pretty long conversation with two seperate midwifery practices in my area. The second one I talked to I immediately clicked with. Everything she said is exactly what I was hoping to find someone that would say/feel/believe. I'm now starting the conversation with DH about the possibility of a home birth. She made me feel very confident and comftorable and I know that's most important!
That's great to hear! I'm really excited about finding her but equally terrified at the same time, LOL. I've talked to DH about it over the last few days and he's really coming around to the idea of a homebirth with a midwife. He says he'll just need to meet the midwife to make his decision...ummm yea well so will I buddy
Thank hun. My family and DH have some major concerns as well. I mentioned that I was looking into a home birth to my mom the other day and she was terrified I would consider it. She immediately asked me if I realized how many women use to die in child birth when women did this back in the older days. Why would I ever put myself in such a harmful situation, yadda yadda yadda
I told my mom the other night that I was serious about it and she said " as long as you still see your dr right?? and they Ok it?" ummm no mom My brothers both said I was stupid, and did I realize WHY women didnt do that anymore..... I just brush them off because 1. the are men 2. they have no idea what they are talking about and 3. I know they just say it because they worry
I guess I'd be considered a veteran homebirther. My first was born in a hospital. It was awful. We researched and hired midwives and had babies 2 and 3 at home. Baby 4 will be born at home in September if all goes as planned.
Anyway, I was going to suggest that you get in touch with ICAN. I'm not a member but I hear great things. Also, I have found the Unnecesarean (google it, it won't let me link it)to be a great source of evidence based information. Just as no woman should be forced into repeat unnecessary and unwanted surgery, no woman should be forced to homebirth just to avoid said surgery. It's awful how choices are limited for women, isn't it?
As for family members, mine were also critical of our choice. I let them know that unless they were willing to do even the teensiest bit of research, it simply wasn't up for discussion. Here in CA, our maternal mortality rate has tripled from '96-'06. Some suspect it's even higher than what's being reported. It was out of safety that we sought out homebirther in the first place. I think they're all used to it now and no one batted an eye after our 3rd. My husband wasn't 100% on board until he met with our midwife. Then he was sold.
I commend you for looking into this now. I found Ina May's Guide to Childbirth to be an awesome resource and it read it every pregnancy. I hope you go on to have an easy time conceiving, an uneventful 9 months culminating in a beautiful birth. All the best.
Thank you so much, hun!! You're so sweet to share your insight, experience and resources with me. I'm headed to google now! Just like my voicy family members haven't done their research, I need to arm myself with tons of research. So well said!
I think you have gotten great advice so far. Our society is so used to going to the hospital to have a baby that everyone just assumes that is the best place to do it. No one looks at all the risks that are associated with having a hospital birth! I had a homebirth with our DS because I felt having a homebirth was safer! (I was low risk of course). My family all had something to say about it (especially my brother who is almost done med school) but I had them watch "the business of being born" with me and they quietened down after that!
Plus just like one of the PP said, until they have done any research they shouldnt say anything- People's beliefs about homebirth are largely based on ignorance.
*Thanks so much Jaidynsmum for my awesome siggy!*