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Trying to keep my house clean and "ready". I think that was about it for me, the OCD planner that I am While having contractions on/off for 4 weeks I was a perpetual nester! "Would my bed sheets and towels be clean?" "Would the bathroom be clean?" "Would the refrigerator be stocked with plenty of quick snacky stuff for my birth team?".
I really didn't have any concerns about the labor/birthing part I had a great midwife whom I loved and trusted, my husband who is a paramedic and an AWESOME labor coach, and a super support team. I'm SOOO excited to get to do it again!!
Honestly, the scariest part for me was sending my daughter to a relative's house! We had never left her with anyone before, let alone overnight, so I was sooooo ready for her to be home the next morning. Nothing was scary about the birth being at home - just general anxiety about the birth itself. I was much more scared in the hospital birth with my oldest.
I've not had a home birth but I think my biggest fear is related. I was terrified of going past 41 weeks, risking out of my birth center, and therefore having to give birth at the hospital. I kept telling DH that I'd sooner run off into the woods to have my baby rather than set foot in the hospital willingly. DD surprised me and came at 38w4d, so I'm not very worried about going "late" next time around. I'm also not sure if the local HB MWs have as ridiculous a cutoff.
I really don't think I have a fear about a future HB. The concerns I have are more logistical than fearful. I don't know where we'll fit a rented tub. Maybe in the kitchen? I guess we'll just have to eat in the living room for awhile . I'll probably have DD stay here but have a friend come to watch her and whisk her away if need be. She'll be at least 3 when next baby comes. Old enough to remember it perhaps. So, I want to give her the chance. Even if I decide on the birth center, I'd like her to be there.
I had a few worries while I was pregnant. Overall I was very certain that HB was the right way to go for us but I couldn't help but worry a little bit. It was mainly because I was a first time mom so I had no idea how labor was going to go, etc. I had a slight fear of something being wrong with the baby, placental abruption, etc. But deep down I knew everything would be fine. I remember being scared when my labor contractions woke me up. I got up and started walking around the house and they hurt! I knew then that this was it and it was scary. I had never had a baby before and as much as I had prepared I still didn't know exactly what I was in for. I started listening to my Hypnobabies tracts and got into hypnosis and ended up with a lovely labor and birth but the unknown is what initially scared me. I hope I won't experience that fear with my next birth since I'll have btdt.
I'm terrified of having to transfer to hospital and getting stuck paying both the MW and an OB. I need to find a way to come to peace with this because I don't want the fear holding me back while I'm in labor.