Log In Sign Up

Am I Nuts?


Forum: Home Birth

Notices

Welcome to the JustMommies Message Boards.

We pride ourselves on having the friendliest and most welcoming forums for moms and moms to be! Please take a moment and register for free so you can be a part of our growing community of mothers. If you have any problems registering please drop an email to boards@justmommies.com.

Our community is moderated by our moderation team so you won't see spam or offensive messages posted on our forums. Each of our message boards is hosted by JustMommies hosts, whose names are listed at the top each board. We hope you find our message boards friendly, helpful, and fun to be on!

Reply Post New Topic
  Subscribe To Home Birth LinkBack Topic Tools Search this Topic Display Modes
  #1  
February 4th, 2007, 10:43 PM
Acadia's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 8,377
I'm not even pregnant yet but I have way too much free time on my hands after housekeeping ... so I think and worry every day about things that don't really matter atm!

Here's my thing. I've been thinking, reading everything I can get my hands on, and asking myself what's right. Obviously this is about a homebirth since it's on the Homebirth Board, though, right? I definitely want a homebirth ... there is no question in my mind. That's what it'll be unless later there's some definite reason I have to have a c-section or something. But I keep thinking that I want to go unassisted. I hate strangers, don't like people touching me in general, etc; the one time I thought about how it must have been for my mom to have me in a hospital with people sticking their hands in her and shining lights down on my head I wanted to cry! That seems wrong in my heart. So I thought about a birth center or having a midwife come to my house ... well the nearest birth center is pretty far but then I started thinking "why bother?". So I stopped considering that. I think I would feel just as strange at a birth center as I would in a hospital.

But being at home just feels right for most things IMO. Including birth. That might change when I get pregnant, idk ... we'll see how that goes but at the moment, if I was having a baby RIGHT NOW, there is no way I would want to go to the hospital, rush to a birth center, or even call a midwife. I would want to just do that here on my own.

Am I totally crazy? To be thinking about it when I'm not even pg yet, yeah that probably means I'm crazy. But I mean, to want an unassisted birth? Does it matter that it would be my first is another thing ... should I have a midwife or go to a birth center the first time just to be sure I don't "mess up"? That sounds ridiculous to me ... people have babies all the time and that's what my body's supposed to do ... but I'm a total worrywart with too much time on my hands.
__________________
<div align="center">




</div>
Reply With Quote
  #2  
February 5th, 2007, 06:42 AM
abigailsilva's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 4,103
No, your not nuts. There are lots of things that we plan about our births and the way we raise our children before we even get pregnant...Breastfeeding, schooling, child-rearing...etc. It's no crazier than choosing to deliver in a hospital...well, actually I do think that's crazy, when most people just GO there, and never even question why. At least you've put THOUGHT into this, and research backs you up.

If unassisted feels right to you and you can be prepared enough to do it safely then by all means, go with what you feel. I would interview a few HB Midwives though just to see what's out there. I never imagined a MW like mine, i feel truly blessed to have found her. A good midwife would not affect it being YOUR birth. My DH is still going to catch the baby and I probably won't have any checks other than intermittent heartbeat monitoring, no cervical exams....my MW will just be there in case and for cleanup I think next time I would prob go UC though.
__________________
<div align="center"></div>
<div align="center">I HAVE 12 SMILES IN THE JM SWAP SHOP!!!</div>
Reply With Quote
  #3  
February 5th, 2007, 11:58 AM
Isaeph's Avatar Jennifer the Momma
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Boise!
Posts: 16,196
We did UC this time. I think if there's a next time I'd probably do UP also unless I just felt like God was telling me something was wrong. I don't think you are crazy at all. If I had known what I know now when I was pg with ds, I would have done it then too. I HATED my hospital birth with him. There was nothing natural about his birth except that he wasn't born by c-section. We had been going to a bc with her pg, but I just didn't even want the mw's around. I have a really hard time with pain, and I get sooo nauseous and anxious because of it, so I really have to focus. Having to have someone touch me or talk to me would have really messed everything up. Plus I just love the thought of labor only being dh and I. Only he knew and understood what I needed. My mom woke up right before dd was born, and so was only around for a few minutes, but even having her present through labor would have messed me. It was just about as perfect as anything on this earth can be.
__________________
"Unborn children should be welcomed in life and protected in law." George W. Bush






Crunchy, conservative, Christian, homeschooling, breastfeeding, co-sleeping, not-vaccinating, cloth-diapering, baby-wearing, ec-ing, unassisted-birthing, breastmilk donating, Momma to 7yo, 4yo, 2yo, 2mo.
Reply With Quote
  #4  
February 5th, 2007, 01:41 PM
jhmomofmany's Avatar Look! A Dancing Banana!
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Upper Michigan
Posts: 14,233
Send a message via Yahoo to jhmomofmany
"If you want it done right, do it yourself."

There are lots of reasons why researching this now is not only NOT crazy, but actually a really good idea. I so wish I could go back and do it all again with what I know now.

There are lots of good websites with information on unassisted birth, and looks like there are a few UC'ers right here, too.
__________________
~Jennifer, wife of one, mother of many

Robert: 18 Raechel: 17 Daniel: 14 Joseph: 12 Thomas: 10 Mary Mae: 6 Lucy Marie: 4 and John Anthony, 1!!

Always Missing our Angels: Hope (7-8-06 @36w) and Francis (7-4-12 @12w)


I've lost 60 pounds, and I'm stronger than ever! No gimmicks, no BS, just exercise, nutrition, and support from the awesome Fitness and Weight Loss board here at JM!! Click the blinkie to join us!



Reply With Quote
  #5  
February 5th, 2007, 04:14 PM
MrsPil's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Quad Cities
Posts: 1,305
You are most certainly not crazy! That's exactly how I felt before getting PG and that's how I stayed all throughout... I had a great labor, a little long but not painful and definitely an experience I would repeat.
__________________
"I trust birth—not birth attendants—for if you only trust birth that is attended then you really don't trust birth at all. You trust the attendant. And then you start over. Who? Doctor, surgeon, CNM, CPM, SIM? And it goes on and on...." - Carla Hartley
"First they ignore you, then they ridicule you, then they fight you, then you win." -Gandhi
"What good fortune for those in power that people do not think." - Adolph Hitler



Reply With Quote
  #6  
February 5th, 2007, 05:18 PM
Acadia's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 8,377
Quote:
You are most certainly not crazy! That's exactly how I felt before getting PG and that's how I stayed all throughout... I had a great labor, a little long but not painful and definitely an experience I would repeat. [/b]
That is good to hear! I knew you chose that route but I wasn't sure when you decided it.

Did you read anything particularly helpful or enlightening?

Thanks everyone ... I feel less crazy now.
__________________
<div align="center">




</div>
Reply With Quote
  #7  
February 5th, 2007, 05:30 PM
Isaeph's Avatar Jennifer the Momma
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Boise!
Posts: 16,196
I read TONS of birth stories (just google them) and happened across a few UC ones and they were just amazing! None of the other birth stories quite had the *something* that I needed and craved. I altogether stopped reading any birth stories except for UC ones in the weeks leading up to my labor. I was hooked.
__________________
"Unborn children should be welcomed in life and protected in law." George W. Bush






Crunchy, conservative, Christian, homeschooling, breastfeeding, co-sleeping, not-vaccinating, cloth-diapering, baby-wearing, ec-ing, unassisted-birthing, breastmilk donating, Momma to 7yo, 4yo, 2yo, 2mo.
Reply With Quote
  #8  
February 5th, 2007, 08:15 PM
Acadia's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 8,377
Quote:
I read TONS of birth stories (just google them) and happened across a few UC ones and they were just amazing! None of the other birth stories quite had the *something* that I needed and craved. I altogether stopped reading any birth stories except for UC ones in the weeks leading up to my labor. I was hooked.[/b]
Have you done any research on UP? Or has anyone here researched/chosen it? That is something else I'm interested in but unlike the UC I am not sure about it yet.
__________________
<div align="center">




</div>
Reply With Quote
  #9  
February 5th, 2007, 10:48 PM
Isaeph's Avatar Jennifer the Momma
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Boise!
Posts: 16,196
I haven't really, but I've had two completely uneventful pg's, so I feel like I could tell if something was wrong, ya know. I go into full on research mode when I'm pg and read anything I can that interests me at the time, so if I do get pg again I'm sure I'll know a bunch!
__________________
"Unborn children should be welcomed in life and protected in law." George W. Bush






Crunchy, conservative, Christian, homeschooling, breastfeeding, co-sleeping, not-vaccinating, cloth-diapering, baby-wearing, ec-ing, unassisted-birthing, breastmilk donating, Momma to 7yo, 4yo, 2yo, 2mo.
Reply With Quote
  #10  
February 6th, 2007, 06:57 AM
Acadia's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 8,377
Thank you for helping me feel less crazy.
__________________
<div align="center">




</div>
Reply With Quote
  #11  
February 6th, 2007, 05:20 PM
jhmomofmany's Avatar Look! A Dancing Banana!
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Upper Michigan
Posts: 14,233
Send a message via Yahoo to jhmomofmany
Choosing to go unassisted is something we only did after a lot of prayer and research.

I had a UP (planning a UC) with our last... everything was perfectly normal until suddenly I KNEW something was wrong. We continued with our plan for an unassisted delivery despite knowing it would be a stillbirth. I have never for a minute regretted the decisions we made for that pregnancy. I still haven't decided whether or not we will go the same route with this pregnancy. There is a homebirth midwife about 30 minutes away, but I'm not sure if I want a midwife. I'm a lot like the poster who said she doesn't make friends easily, and with the mw attended homebirth (my 5th baby) it still felt like there were "strangers" taking over "my" birth. Even though I really liked and respected that mw she never felt like a friend. So, I'm still deciding what to do!
__________________
~Jennifer, wife of one, mother of many

Robert: 18 Raechel: 17 Daniel: 14 Joseph: 12 Thomas: 10 Mary Mae: 6 Lucy Marie: 4 and John Anthony, 1!!

Always Missing our Angels: Hope (7-8-06 @36w) and Francis (7-4-12 @12w)


I've lost 60 pounds, and I'm stronger than ever! No gimmicks, no BS, just exercise, nutrition, and support from the awesome Fitness and Weight Loss board here at JM!! Click the blinkie to join us!



Reply With Quote
  #12  
February 7th, 2007, 08:29 AM
Acadia's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 8,377
Quote:
with the mw attended homebirth (my 5th baby) it still felt like there were "strangers" taking over "my" birth. Even though I really liked and respected that mw she never felt like a friend.[/b]
That is exactly what I'm afraid of. And I do think I might feel that way.

I am sorry about the stillbirth also. It is very nice to know that you don't regret the decision, though. I doubt second-guessing yourself would help.
__________________
<div align="center">




</div>
Reply With Quote
  #13  
February 7th, 2007, 05:48 PM
jhmomofmany's Avatar Look! A Dancing Banana!
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Upper Michigan
Posts: 14,233
Send a message via Yahoo to jhmomofmany
Thank you. I have made what peace I can because I know in my heart that I made the right decisions based on what I know to be true and good. And despite the loss, I am very grateful for that birth experience. I posted her birth story at the stillbirth forum.
__________________
~Jennifer, wife of one, mother of many

Robert: 18 Raechel: 17 Daniel: 14 Joseph: 12 Thomas: 10 Mary Mae: 6 Lucy Marie: 4 and John Anthony, 1!!

Always Missing our Angels: Hope (7-8-06 @36w) and Francis (7-4-12 @12w)


I've lost 60 pounds, and I'm stronger than ever! No gimmicks, no BS, just exercise, nutrition, and support from the awesome Fitness and Weight Loss board here at JM!! Click the blinkie to join us!



Reply With Quote
  #14  
February 7th, 2007, 06:01 PM
MrsPil's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Quad Cities
Posts: 1,305
I did UP up until 23 weeks, I had a super nasty GI bug and some dilation but no effacement. I took care of it myself (three days bedrest, some wine, magnesium/calcium, TONS of Vit. C, and zinc to strengthen the BOW) but I saw an OB afterwards to make sure I was back to normal. I ended up seeing the OB three times and never going back.

UP is very much an instinctual process, one that takes a lot of dedication and perseverance but it was so worth it. You have to know where to look for answers and you have to decide what level of "care" you want to give yourself (will you do urine strips for gluc/protein, fundal height measurements, nutrition journaling, blood pressure, etc) and be willing to document what you do. It's relatively easy but it is a commitment, one which I am sure you would have no problem taking on!
__________________
"I trust birth—not birth attendants—for if you only trust birth that is attended then you really don't trust birth at all. You trust the attendant. And then you start over. Who? Doctor, surgeon, CNM, CPM, SIM? And it goes on and on...." - Carla Hartley
"First they ignore you, then they ridicule you, then they fight you, then you win." -Gandhi
"What good fortune for those in power that people do not think." - Adolph Hitler



Reply With Quote
  #15  
February 7th, 2007, 07:28 PM
Acadia's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 8,377
Quote:
Thank you. I have made what peace I can because I know in my heart that I made the right decisions based on what I know to be true and good. And despite the loss, I am very grateful for that birth experience. I posted her birth story at the stillbirth forum.[/b]
Thank you for telling me about that ... I will have to go read it tonight. I like reading all the birth stories, even the ridiculously pro-intervention ones, but I never realized the stillbirth forum had birth stories too (now that I think about it, duh it does).

Making the right decisions based on what I know is exactly what I am trying to do so thank you for sharing.
__________________
<div align="center">




</div>
Reply With Quote
  #16  
February 7th, 2007, 07:33 PM
Acadia's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 8,377
Quote:
I did UP up until 23 weeks, I had a super nasty GI bug and some dilation but no effacement. I took care of it myself (three days bedrest, some wine, magnesium/calcium, TONS of Vit. C, and zinc to strengthen the BOW) but I saw an OB afterwards to make sure I was back to normal. I ended up seeing the OB three times and never going back.

UP is very much an instinctual process, one that takes a lot of dedication and perseverance but it was so worth it. You have to know where to look for answers and you have to decide what level of "care" you want to give yourself (will you do urine strips for gluc/protein, fundal height measurements, nutrition journaling, blood pressure, etc) and be willing to document what you do. It's relatively easy but it is a commitment, one which I am sure you would have no problem taking on![/b]
So you basically went with UP and just happened to see an OB a few times for the reassurance after your problems?

I am thinking I would definitely like to do it and have someone "on tap", so to speak, who I know I might like to see if I can't go it alone. Not really "waiting in the wings" but in case I want a second opinion on something.

As it is right now DF would probably feel better if I did the urine strips and blood pressure at least, and probably fundal height too, so I think if I choose that route I'll be doing everything I can to make him more comfortable with it. If he's willing to let me do that, I think I should at least try my best to reassure him. After all it would be his child too.
__________________
<div align="center">




</div>
Reply With Quote
  #17  
February 9th, 2007, 04:58 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 3,160
I don't want to sound as if I'm discouraging UC birth because I'm not, but I just wanted to say that you can have a midwife at the birth if you want without her intervening. I use homebirthing doctors and they consider themselves lifeguards. They mostly hang out in the background making sure everything is okay (unless you want more hands-on interaction.) I actually feel drawn to an UC this time around as well. My husband would never go for it, but it's been on my mind too. Best wishes to you.
__________________
Earthy-Birthy Tree-hugging Mama to 5 (6 for now) great kids:

SciGuy,14 Butterfly Girl,12 Wyldchild,7 FlowerFairy,5 and Babybird,3

and RK, 13, exchange student from Japan

My Homeschooling Blog:
Reply With Quote
  #18  
February 9th, 2007, 09:23 PM
Acadia's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 8,377
Quote:
I don't want to sound as if I'm discouraging UC birth because I'm not, but I just wanted to say that you can have a midwife at the birth if you want without her intervening. I use homebirthing doctors and they consider themselves lifeguards. They mostly hang out in the background making sure everything is okay (unless you want more hands-on interaction.) I actually feel drawn to an UC this time around as well. My husband would never go for it, but it's been on my mind too. Best wishes to you.[/b]
Thank you for your advice.

I have thought about that and I'm considering it. My problem is that I don't want anyone around me at all, not just that I don't want intervention. So ... it's a possibility but I can't see a midwife being in my house and the thought not bothering me. I am a very private person.

That is definitely an option though. It is just not what I feel like I want right now.
__________________
<div align="center">




</div>
Reply With Quote
Reply

Topic Tools Search this Topic
Search this Topic:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 02:51 PM.



Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0