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something that had been holding me back


Forum: Home Birth

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  #1  
August 12th, 2007, 12:07 AM
KBeans's Avatar Believe in your body
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i felt dh didn't support me. at first i completely did. i felt he was on my side and saw what i saw about planned c-sections, was totally high-5ing me and by my side the whole time, making the choices and decision WITH me.

then it started feeling like he was tagging along, then it started feeling like he was just accepting we were going to have a cesarean again.

he knows and will tell you with his own words how much pain he saw me in after the second one, how he does not want me going through that again. but all of a sudden i felt like...he just fed into the "once it happens it will always happen" cesarean cliche. eventhough i knew he wished it wasn't that way. but it felt as if he was giving up. and i felt alone in my hopes and my fight.

so i finaly realized how i was really feeling, and got honest with myself and him. and so we talked, he said it isn't like that at all, that he really doesn't want it to happen, he will support whatever decision i make, his job is to support me and stay educated with me, but in the end it is my body. he just doesn't want anything to happen to anyone - me or baby. but that he seriously does see the dangers of a repeat cesarean, and he does feel we are being pressured and forced into it, and really does want a healthy VBAC.

it felt better to get that out to him, and to hear what he was thinking now that we have gotten the definite NO to a VBAC....knowing it still doesn't mean a NO to me, and that although im not getting my hopes up, im definitely not giving up on my hopes either. it felt good to know he still does support a VBAC and hasn't fallen victim to the hooplah the docs are telling us.
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  #2  
August 12th, 2007, 08:00 AM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Pacific Grove, California
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Val,
Its just an all around bad situation, I'm so sorry that you're dealing with this now. So, what is your plan? Did you find a doula who would work with you and your doctor?
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  #3  
August 12th, 2007, 10:37 AM
Lash's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: North Texas
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Thats really great.. even if you do eventually end up with a section, it sounds like you feel so much better having him on your side and still open to other options
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  #4  
August 15th, 2007, 07:02 PM
MrsPil's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Location: Quad Cities
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(((hugs))) and good for him! I hope this is the first step towards your homebirth
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  #5  
August 17th, 2007, 06:25 PM
KBeans's Avatar Believe in your body
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Quote:
Its just an all around bad situation, I'm so sorry that you're dealing with this now. So, what is your plan? Did you find a doula who would work with you and your doctor?[/b]
it hasn't been a problem finding a doula or a midwife here, it's the doctor i can't find. there is NOT ONE SINGLE doctor in las vegas (and the surrounding areas are much much too far with nothing in between just in case) who will work with a doula or midwife.
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.·:*´¨¨*:·.Valarie.·:*´¨¨*:·.
.·:* *:·.
˛ married to matt ˛
mommy to rick 8, christian 6, kairi 3
˛

want P90X, Hip Hop Abs, Turbo Jam, Slim in 6 and tons more? Check out my site!

3.5 years - still BFing

I ♥ triathlon, running & hot yoga!
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