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He made me feel like a really bad mother...


Forum: Home Birth

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  #1  
September 14th, 2007, 08:32 PM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Pacific Grove, California
Posts: 1,056
So last night I had a bit of spotting with mucus. Scary because I'm not yet 34 weeks and ds was premature. I called the midwife who suggested that unless I had a lot of bleeding or got real contractions I take an herbal tinture she had given me before and wait and see. She checked my cervix this morning. I was about 90% effaced and 1cm dilated so we decided to go into L&D. I was hooked up to the monitors, where they were picking up contractions, but nothing really regular. I got a shot of terbutaline, they did an ultrasound and I was monitored for several hours and then sent home. I'm now on "limited activity" and trying to get to 36 weeks.

My LMP puts me at almost 34 weeks. I know this is right, I was charting and temping etc. I did not however get an ultrasound to date this pregnancy and have not had the GD screening. The ultrasound they did today said that baby was a bit over 35 weeks and about 6lbs. Now, the sort of strange thing about this is the same thing happened with my ds. I went into labor at what I thought was 32 weeks and the pedi in the NICU swore that developmentally he was 34-35 weeks. I did have the GD screening last time so i know that wasn't a factor. Maybe my body just does this pregnancy thing a little more quickly, I really don't know. Anyhow, the doctor we saw today gave me a huge lecture on being irresponsible and selfish in my prenatal care (I'm been seeing my midwife since 5 weeks!). That because my EDD didn't match up with his measurements I was harming my baby. The way he spoke to us made me feel like he thought I was completely ignorant. I asked him if it was true that a 3rd trimester ultrasound was notoriously bad for gaging the accurate size of an infant and was blown off.

Both my midwife and I understood from the beginning that having delivered Eli pre term made my chances of having PTL higher, and in the end I chose this model of care because I felt it was best to have as few interventions as possible. I don't really understand what he thought would have been different had I been seeing an OB from the beginning, its all just really frustrating.

I'm now facing a really difficult decision. The OB we saw is pressuring me into switching my care over to an OB, he even offered to take over my care himself (but I REALLY didn't like him, so that's out of the question). Which would mean getting "caught up" on a whole battery of tests at this point and then delivering in the hospital. To stay with my midwife and work to make it to 36 weeks, with the understanding that if I don't I'll need to go back up to L&D to either stop labor of deliver. I just feel sort of like a hypocrite and really don't like the way I've been treated. But that said, I do want to do whats best for my baby, I don't know...

I'm sorry that this is so long, I'm just feeling bullied and really needed to vent some of my frustrations.
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  #2  
September 14th, 2007, 09:06 PM
ragmama's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Southern VA
Posts: 40,017
Oh no, I'm so sorry you had to put up with him...big for you!! YOU know the reasons that you chose a midwife and made the decisions that you have thus far - and I truly doubt that there was anything "selfish" about them. I'm sure you've made the best possible choices you could make where your new little one is concerned, and you should be applauded - not put down by some doctor who has NO idea - for that. (And good for you for calling him on the inaccuracy of ultrasound in estimating baby's size! )

I hope you make it to 36+ weeks with no further incidents. I'm rooting for you!!
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mom to Rachael, 9 ~ Milly, 5 ~ foster mom to R, 1
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  #3  
September 14th, 2007, 09:10 PM
Alison79's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Texas
Posts: 10,232
I'm so sorry that Dr. wasn't more understanding. I can relate as before I switched to my midwife my Dr was trying to pressure me into testing that I felt was not necessary. It sounds to me like you're doing all the right things and have a concerned and professional midwife by your side. I will keep my fingers crossed that baby decides to stay put for the next two weeks for you!
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Baby Leo or Charlotte due 7/27
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  #4  
September 15th, 2007, 02:59 PM
Butter's Avatar Heather the Mama Duk
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: San Antonio TX
Posts: 28,853
What an idiot. I hate doctors like that. BTW, it is possible that you do simply "cook" babies faster. A woman I knew had four kids and the oldest was born at 36 weeks and each one got earlier. Her babies were all full term though in their personal development despite being early. He doctor said some women are like crockpots and others are like microwaves. She happened to be a "microwave."
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~Heather, wife to Jamie (15 years; June 5, 1998) and mom to
Ani - 14 (February 15, 2000), Cameron - 12 (October 3, 2001),
Fritz - 7 (July 11, 2006), and Adrian - 5 (June 19, 2008)
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  #5  
September 15th, 2007, 09:49 PM
4boys
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Posts: n/a
I agree with what the other ladies have said. That doc is a moron and don't let him pressure you into making a decision you aren't comfortable with!! I hope you last another few weeks and can have a healthy baby with your midwife! My first son was born at 35 weeks, he was 6 1/2 lbs and perfectly healthy at birth. So if this has happened to you once before, I would bet that this baby is going the same way as far as size and development is concerned. I hope everything works out for you!
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  #6  
September 19th, 2007, 08:19 PM
Fluffy Baby's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: SW FL
Posts: 8,785
Keep doing what your doing! You don't sound like a bad mom to me. I wish I could have a midwife. OBs suck and they mostly only care about themselves. Some people, especially a man, will never understand about birth no matter how much schooling they have if they are closed minded. Stay strong!
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I am a mixture of all that and a bag of chips... IJS



Rest In Peace Jennifer <3



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