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The comments dont stop after the birth...


Forum: Home Birth

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  #1  
November 30th, 2007, 09:02 AM
LaLa's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Posts: 11,576
14 months later, the comments are still coming...

I am so angry!

So - I have a cousin, he & his wife had a cesarean with their first b/c the dr told them "it was too dangerous NOT to do a
csection with a possibly 9 lb baby!". Argh. About that time, we were 7 months along with our homebirth baby, and they
immediately asked WHAT Would we do & wouldnt i DIE if the baby was 9 lbs? Uh... NO! I safely & happily delivered our 8 lb 6 oz
baby at home

Well - shes pg again, and just had her second baby by elective planned scheduled csection - same dr, go figure.
They moved her due date up a week, and did the cesarean on monday. Surprise surprise, baby comes out - lungs arent 100% developed
hes got breathing difficulty, lungs filled with fluid & its now pneumonia. They of course think that the baby was on time (cause even
37 weeks is considered full term by their OB!!!), blahblahblah. NICU for 7 - 10 days on antibiotics... feeding tube "just in case",
not letting him have contact with the mother, shes discharged, cant board, doesnt want to be there anyways, shes given up on
breastfeeding already b/c she pumped once after 24 hours and got only a couple drops.

Well, wouldnt you know - I've gotten not one, not two, but THREE comments about "Thank GOD He was born in the hospital, dont you
know if HE was born at home hed be DEAD! THIS is why they have babies born in the hospital - you just NEVER KNOW!"

OMG... what part of it dont they get? If this baby were born at home - he wouldnt be in the NICU! He wouldnt have been
YANKED out before labor had even begun, wouldnt have had a "floating" due date at everyones convenience, AND had there been
a need for resuscitation... AT TERM... then the equipment would be at my house & available for use by a trained midwife certified
in neonatal resuscitation UNLIKE the 3 nurses standing around in the recovery room when the baby started having breathing difficulty.

AND - babies born via c-section have increased problems with respiratory distress b/c the fluid doesnt get squeezed out of their
lungs but I suppose that had nothing to do with it either!!!

OMG, I am gonna go ballistic on all of them!!!

I was polite at first, but now the more I think of it, the more RUDE it seems... Im just gonna straight up tell them next time
that if hed been born at home, it wouldnt be happening to begin with so chew on that!!!


Lala...
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  #2  
November 30th, 2007, 09:20 AM
*Jackie*
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That'd burn my britches too. I know all the comments I got for wanting to go natural with Kailey, I can only imagine the comments I'm going to get for homebirthing number two Sorry you are going through that... I'd stick it to em next time!
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  #3  
November 30th, 2007, 09:46 AM
Twinkle's Avatar Platinum Super Mommy
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Location: New York
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Oh man, if someone told me that, I'd probably have the same comments for them they you wrote. I do think you should say something, if nothing else but to educate them on how safe a homebirth is in comparison to a hospital birth.
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  #4  
November 30th, 2007, 09:50 AM
LaLa's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 11,576
Well thats the thing - when we were preparing for a homebirth, I got all the comments about "what if something happens?" so they know the equipment is there, the midwife is trained in resuscitation, etc. And with a waterbirth I got the comments about being born in water, and the usual sanitation comments, questions, etc.

Ive addressed it all before, presented facts, studies, research, etc...

But you can bet I will be reminding them!!!!

Of course, they cant accept that any of the numerous interventions including a cesarean before labor begins has anything to do with anything b/c then they would have to accept that they could have prevented it!

Lala...
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  #5  
November 30th, 2007, 10:09 AM
shadowdweller's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Location: salt lake, utah
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ack! my last baby was born at 37 weeks, in the hospital, and then spent 9 days in nicu with an umbilical infection. and people say to me "thank GOD you were in the hospital, your baby would have DIED!" and i say, "no. the hospital is what tried to kill her." if she would have been born at home, nobody would have thought it was imperative to cut the cord the instant she was born, and since the doctors weren't expecting her to be born vaginally at all, they did it without even washing their hands. surprise surprise: dirty hands = infection.

i say,"thank GOD i'm staying home this time"
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  #6  
November 30th, 2007, 11:11 AM
ShawnaCAN's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Location: Alberta, Canada
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UGH. That's SOOOO frustrating. So many serious complications are produced by interventions like that! Her baby likely would have been far healthier if he hadn't been yanked out of his comfy home before he was good and ready and all of it would have been avoided!

It just makes me sick the way doctors play it up so that if you don't comply with their interventions, you are a negligent mother risking your baby's life - when it's precisely their interventions that put the baby at greatest risk!

That's not to say there isn't a time and a place for medical interventions. Of course there is! But the way things go these days - they create more problems than they avoid by pushing inductions and cesareans unnecessarily! Then they play the "death" card so it seems like it all the trauma to Mom and baby was worth it to avoid something worse. What about striving for something better (no interventions, no NICU, no respiratory distress, no c/s???). Striving for something better has no value, but simply "avoiding death" makes every ridiculous intervention acceptable and praiseworthy!
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  #7  
November 30th, 2007, 05:24 PM
Veteran
Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 136
oh it makes me so angry that people dont care how there babies are born i think that is the most important part why do people not what to make it as natural an amazing for there babies. home births arnt big in Australia when i tell people about them they straight out say i would never have one "i need drugs" i hate it
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  #8  
November 30th, 2007, 05:49 PM
ragmama's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Location: Southern VA
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Oh my gosh, that poor baby. And those comments...they make me SO mad too. It's funny how the *majority* of the mothers in our playgroup "wouldn't have their children today" if they hadn't been born in a hospital, because so-and-so happened and they would have DIED. It's so sad that more moms don't take the time (or just plain don't bother to) educate themselves about childbirth *before* their babies arrive.
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  #10  
December 4th, 2007, 02:00 AM
MrsPil's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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This is why I can't talk about labor with most people, I had enough of it while I was pregnant. I'm *so* sorry you have to put up with that.
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  #11  
December 17th, 2007, 04:17 AM
Fluffy Baby's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Coming from a mom that has had 2 c/s now (trust me, neither one was wanted, was trying for VBAC after 1st and then well, my son passed and I agreed to another c/s since he was transverse), I can't believe women aren't more educated too. I would absolutely love to havd a home birth, but given my circumstances, I will be having c/s for the rest of my kids before 40 weeks. My OB wants them done at 38 weeks, but I am going to insist on waiting until at least 39-40. Also given my history, I have never been given the chance to go into labor. I carried them both until 42w2d. It really makes me mad when moms don't understand that most of the problems are from the doctors, then the doctor steps in to correct his mistake and he is made out to be a hero, please.

I had a friend that went into labor and her OB said she was to small to deliver a big baby, so she opted for the c/s. Her baby unfortunely spent 10 days in the NICU for fluid in her lungs. The doctors told her that she had fluid in her lungs because she was a big baby and good thing she was born by c/s because they needed to get her out fast. WHAT?!>!>>! And the worst part is SHE FELL FOR IT!

I totally agree with what you gals are saying. I pray all the time for me to at least be able to labor on my own once in my life, but I am absolutely TERRIFIED of having another stillborn.
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  #12  
December 17th, 2007, 06:57 AM
LaLa's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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(((Leann)))

You are so much stronger than you know

Youre one awesome woman. I love the picture by the way

Lala...
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  #13  
December 17th, 2007, 05:24 PM
Fluffy Baby's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Thank you, because of you I found the NILMDTS forum and a volunteer retouched some of my photos for me.

It really is sad how uneducated women are. It is like the blind leading the blind.
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