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Forum: Home Birth

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  #1  
January 8th, 2008, 05:22 PM
*Jackie*
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My husband didn't completely freak out when I told him I'm thinking of HB our future children?!?! Holy cow that was COMPLETELY unexpected! This is what he said in email to me:
Quote:
What's important to me? You being happy. Although, home birth does kind of scare me. If something were to happen and just by chance could have been prevented because the doctor was there I could never forgive myself and I know you couldn't either.

What's wrong with the water birth you had? It was an nice room.[/b]
This makes the process SO much easier in coming to a conclusion of what we decide to do!!!!!

So, I need some help now... I have the same concerns as he does about all the what-if's.

What exactly ARE the what-ifs? I want a list for myself and to present to DH.

If ______ happens then the scenario would play out like ______ at a hospital and _____ at a HB & this situation is safer at a HB because of _______.

AND

There are ____ and _____ scenarios that can be dangerous at a HB, but the % is _____ (you know those small percentages where it's more likely to get in a plane crash than to have this happen) small.


I'm so excited about this, I was so afraid to talk to DH about HB and now I think it's gonna happen!!!!!
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  #2  
January 8th, 2008, 08:25 PM
ShawnaCAN's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Alberta, Canada
Posts: 11,397
Actually, I would ask HIM to come up with the what-ifs himself. What are his biggest fears? My husband had similar concerns, so when we first met our midwife we all sat down and DH asked her about ALL of those what-ifs. She explained in detail how she would handle each situation, shared about births she'd attended that included the complications he was worried about, and was also very clear to point out that she wasn't there to try to play hero if a situation was beyond her ability to handle. She would not hesitate to transfer me to hospital if that was the case.

It made my husband feel a lot better to actually hear her plan of action for each worst-case scenerio. He was still concerned, but supported me because he knew it was a really big deal for me. Then after we experienced our first birth at home (after 2 hospital births), he was sold! He's even more pro-homebirth than I am now, after seeing how different it was.
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  #3  
January 8th, 2008, 09:57 PM
ragmama's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Southern VA
Posts: 40,017
I'll just ditto Shawna here - let him come up with the "ifs". Add your own, if there are things you're worried about. And give your midwife a chance to go over some of the most worried about things on her own before you ask. The first time my DH met my midwife, she answered every question he had before he could ask.

I just kept on and kept on coming up with those "what ifs" during my pregnancy, so my midwife got LOTS of calls and emails from me. Luckily, she didn't mind - so I'd say that having a midwife that's not opposed to frequent contact is pretty much a must.

I'm so glad he's more open to the idea than you thought he'd be!
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Kristin
mom to Rachael, 9 ~ Milly, 5 ~ foster mom to R, 1
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  #4  
January 8th, 2008, 10:47 PM
MrsPil's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Quad Cities
Posts: 1,305
Another Ditto to Shawna, let him grill your MW (or you if you'll be UCing) it's a great way for him to see that homebirth is every bit as safe (if not safer than) hospital birth.

Congrats!
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"I trust birth—not birth attendants—for if you only trust birth that is attended then you really don't trust birth at all. You trust the attendant. And then you start over. Who? Doctor, surgeon, CNM, CPM, SIM? And it goes on and on...." - Carla Hartley
"First they ignore you, then they ridicule you, then they fight you, then you win." -Gandhi
"What good fortune for those in power that people do not think." - Adolph Hitler



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  #5  
January 9th, 2008, 08:56 AM
*Jackie*
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Posts: n/a
Thanks everyone, I told DH today
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