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Does anyone want to help be my soundboard?? Short story.. do I go back to the OB/Gyn? Do I get the 20 week u/s done private or at the OB/Gyn?
Much longer story w/history:
I will be 18 weeks tomorrow with my 5th pg, 4th baby. DH & I want to UC at home.
I miscarried my first.
I was induced a week early with my oldest DS for PIH signs & because he was getting pretty BIG. (12 hr. labor - 1 1/2 hr. pushing- w/epi)
I was induced a week early for my second DS for PIH signs. (4 hr. labor - 5 min. pushing & he was posterior w/epi & was on bedrest from 20 weeks on)
I did not want to be induced again w/my youngest DS. I was also on bedrest from 34 weeks on. I waited it out at home as long as possible before I left for the hospital. We were already aware of a kidney/ureter problem (that later resolved itself) but, they used his problem and my "PIH" to try to force induction again but, I resisted. I cxl'd my last appointments toward the end and refused the induction the morning it was scheduled (which was scheduled w/o my permission). I delivered naturally w/o the epi in < an hour of being there. However, unfortunately, I discovered that they used attached a pit bag toward the end and I was furious & had a hard time trying to overcome that.
My last 2 children were delivered by my OB/Gyn (female) and I felt that she really let me down during the last pregnancy, especially, because she quit listening to my needs and wants.
This time around, I have seen a MW in a new OB/Gyn office, first. Then, I saw the new OB/Gyn (male, who I like). However, even though he is a great individual, I have fears that he is not going to listen or respect my decisions. All of my pregnancies were considered high risk because of my bp and the PIH signs, esp toward the end. This new male OB has already deemed me as high risk. He also gave me an rx for a bp rx, that I should have expressed I am not going to take because I do not believe in it. He also wants me to do a 24 hr. urine collection. He tried for a long time to get a hb w/the doppler but, was unable to so sent me for an u/s and they discovered that the placenta was anterior, which is why he couldn't hear the baby's hb.
We would like to have the 20 week u/s to determine if this baby will have the same kidney/ureter problem as our youngest son. We will not find out the gender. However, I have not made any more appointments with this OB or anyone else because I haven't figured out what I want to do and for what reasons, yet.
So, now I face choices:
1.) Don't do anything in regard to the OB/Gyn. Take care of myself & try to get the u/s from a private facility.
2.) Make an appt. w/the MW and try to avoid the OB/Gyn. Try to get her to order the u/s. Tell her about my feelings about fear of him not seeing eye to eye w/my wishes (though I'd never tell anyone in the medical field of our intent to have a planned uc).
3.) Make an appt. w/the OB/Gyn and voice my opinions and attempt to have him tell me what he's game for, even though I refused some testing w/my previous pregnancy and at least hear him out.
Pros of seeing the OB/Gyn: 20 wk u/s & possible bedrest
Cons of seeing the OB/Gyn: possibly more stress than I'd like to have and uncertainty
They've already said that I'm a quick deliver so if we couldn't get to the hospital on time, it's feasible to have an UC.
I'm kind of stressing about what I should do but, no where near the stress I experience when going to the Dr.
Anyone have any positive suggestions? Other possibilities? Similar stories?
That's a tough one, Kristin. It's really hard to offer a suggestion as this one will have to be about what you're comfortable with. Personally, I would probably go with option #2 - see the midwife and talk to her about your feelings re: the OB. If she works in the same practice, then she can order the ultrasound, right? If she CAN'T order it...then the OB does sound like the better bet. I would certainly want to know what to expect re: the past kidney problems, especially with a UC.
Of course, if your insurance will pay for you to have an u/s at a private u/s facility (as long as they're diagnostic and not one of the "just to see your baby" places), maybe that would be a better route. I didn't see an OB at all during my last pregnancy, and it was HARD finding a place to do the u/s. We finally found one that's affiliated with a university hospital - they did a complete diagnostic u/s but we had to pay for it out of pocket (about $600.)
Best of luck making that decision!!
mom to Rachael, 10 ~ Milly, 6 ~ foster mom (waiting on the next call)
I really, really appreciate your reply. I kind of feel like I scared people off being neurotic and off base w/the naturalness of HB. I'm having such a hard time struggling with this decision. I am a lot more at ease w/not going than going, which is kind of pathetic but, understandable.
If this baby does have the kidney/ureter problem, I'm not going to be too worried but, I'd like to know so when the baby is crying, I know why. It's a fairly common thing to happen but, w/our last baby, they put us through the wringer, only to find out it totally wasn't necessary to induce over that (per the perinatologist and pediatrician) and we went through so much unnecessary diagnostics on the baby that we should never have agreed to. It's a self resolving thing in most cases.
And about the high bp, I don't eat meat, which could be one of the things contributing to it but, not one Dr. has even asked. I just don't feel comfortable taking 3 horse pills every day, for the rest of my life that "relaxes" my veins. And going to the Dr. stresses me out, whether they're the coolest or not. LOL
I should look into what kind of private places might take our ins. for an u/s. I'm not sure I'd go back to the MW or Dr. after the u/s, regardless. The previous OB/Gyn had me going 3x a week, mostly to weigh me (upsetting enough when you're huge) and to have me sit in a room & do NSTs. Most of the time, she'd threaten to induce or send me over to the hospital for more testing. Agh.
I just want some inner peace w/this pregnancy & delivery. DH says just to lay low and stay home & we'll UC and he says we'll just get a regular u/s done privately.
Thank you for you response,
Kristin & "The Boys" + 1 due 7/08'