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I know I have a long way to go, but I just don't know what to do. I updated when I had my home visit from the midwife, saying that it was a go. DH was on board. But now I'm really scared! I really want to do this, but I can not stop thinking about how scared I am. The number one reason for me wanting a homebirth is because I want the VBAC, and if I'm at home then I have no tempation of the drugs. Anyway, I talked to DH about how scared I was getting and he wants me to go to the OB again and try to talk to the female dr. thinking that she will be more supportive of the VBAC. The male doc didn't say he was against it, he just wasn't very responsive when I tried talking to him about it. I know they do them there, but I just don't want to be pressured and be on a time limit to give birth. DH told me to make a list of do's and don'ts and he will BE SURE that he enforces it. Any advice would be great! TIA
First of all, big hugs to you. Fear of the unknown is only human, and I'm sure it's harder to consider a home birth when you'll be doing a VBAC as well.
It wouldn't hurt anything to talk with the female OB, if that's what your husband wants - maybe she'll be able to assuage some of your fears about the VBAC. And that's great that DH is willing to adhere to a strict list of do's and don'ts - hospital staff can be pretty pushy about sticking to their "norms".
But with that said...if you've met with a midwife and gotten an all-clear from her for a home birth, I'm sure you'd be just fine. No midwife is going tell you that you're okay to birth at home if there's a good chance that you're not - she wouldn't put you, your baby OR herself in that position. So be sure to talk to her about your concerns too - I bet she'll be able to help as much (or maybe more) than the OB.
And of course, we're always here too, whenever you have questions or need to talk!
mom to Rachael, 10 ~ Milly, 6 ~ foster mom (waiting on the next call)
Oh, believe me, I know ALL about second guessing, it is completely normal!! Unfortunatley, in my case, it was my DH that got scared and we wound up in the hospital, and he caved the first time I asked about drugs, even though he promised not to. I also think that if your midwife gave you the ok, then everything will be ok. I would suggest talking about your fears to your midwife first, then to your OB (female) if your midwife doesn't help relieve your fears (I doubt that she would give you any indication of worry though). I mean, there is NO problem with wanting a HB, and then needing to go to the hospital, that is what they are there for, but if your midwife gave you the ok, then I doubt a transfer would be needed. Try to think of all the great positive things that comes with Natural Birthing and being able to do that in the comfort of your own home, in my case, I actually want to give birth at a fancy hotel, lol, so if that appeals to you and you are still scared, why not pick a great hotel near the hospital? That actually might help alliveate all of your fears. Again, second guessing is NORMAL, expecially if what you really want to do is not what is now considered "normal" Everything will be great, it always is!!
Thank you for your words of encouragement. Midwife says that we wont know 100% until I get a u/s to see where the placenta is located. If it's on my scar tissue then she wont do it. I only did the 1st home visit/consultation with her. I think I'm going to make my next appt. with my OB (the one I want) and talk to her and go from there. Thanks again.