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  #1  
February 6th, 2009, 04:30 PM
Peytonsmomma
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If you and your family aren't that close, who plans your baby shower? Do you do it?
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  #2  
February 8th, 2009, 02:57 PM
cheezpoofs's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Not if you care about proper etiquette, you don't. Throwing one's own shower is the height of rudeness according to Miss Manners. Technically, so are having family members throw one for you (in essence, it's your family asking others to give you gifts), having a shower for a second or subsequent baby (the baby shower is a one-time deal to welcome a woman into motherhood, not a celebration of the baby), and asking for extra gifts (ie. diaper raffles, bring a book in place of a card, etc.). A shower is supposed to be held by a friend, with the mother-to-be supplying the guest list and being only the guest-of-honor herself. Miss Manners does frown on registries, but in today's world, this etiquette standard has been mostly suspended due to the prevalence of people who do use registries and it's split about fifty/ fifty for people who prefer to shop off a registry versus those who don't.

If you don't have anyone willing and wanting to throw you a shower, I wouldn't have one. I would feel it very rude to receive an invitation to a shower hosted by the person asking for gifts and would not attend. It's just gift-grubby and impolite.
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  #3  
February 8th, 2009, 06:27 PM
JulieMc's Avatar Loving my babies. :)
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You should have a friend throw it. It's bad manners to throw it for yourself, it seems greedy. I think it's alright for a sister to throw it, but also bad manners for the mother of the mommy-to-be to throw it.
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  #4  
February 8th, 2009, 10:20 PM
anjelt's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I threw and planned all three of my showers, My mom was the host for her side, my sister in law was the host for my dad's side, and My friend was the host for my friend shower. GASP I had three showers. and even a bigger GASP I paid for planned and threw all three of them!! Its the year 2009, if they don't like it they won't come!!
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  #5  
February 9th, 2009, 10:22 AM
Peytonsmomma
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thank you anjel

i'm not into miss manners or who cares if it's rude

i'm not sure how that would be greedy if your family isn't close and your closest friend lives over 3000 miles away....????

I think i will go ahead and throw it, or who knows maybe my sister will come around
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  #6  
February 11th, 2009, 07:11 PM
anjelt's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Good for you, I don't like Miss Manners either!!! Like I said its the year 2009!! No one does anything traditionally anymore. Have fun don't forget to post pictures!
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  #8  
February 17th, 2009, 01:03 PM
Peytonsmomma
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thank you anjel and eshum!

actually it worked out, the girls in my office are going to throw one for me
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  #9  
February 23rd, 2009, 07:47 PM
anjelt's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Good, please post pics!!!
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  #10  
February 24th, 2009, 08:24 PM
Mommy2Maddox's Avatar Proud Army Wife & Mommy!
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Quote:
I threw and planned all three of my showers, My mom was the host for her side, my sister in law was the host for my dad's side, and My friend was the host for my friend shower. GASP I had three showers. and even a bigger GASP I paid for planned and threw all three of them!! Its the year 2009, if they don't like it they won't come!![/b]
I totally agree! Having babies is expensive and as a first time mom myself.. it would've been VERY hard for us to have bought every single thing our son has by ourselves. My main shower was HUGE. Over 100 invites were sent out and over 50 people attended. I had 10 ladies HOST my shower and each of them asked to do it. I was lucky.. but had I not been, I'm sure my mom would've done it. I don't expect people to necessarily bring a gift to my shower if they are unable to do so. I want people there to spend time with me, to show off my buddah belly & to celebrate my son's upcoming birth. Of course, everyone did bring a gift - which is SOOO very helpful. But I didn't have 'expectations' about anything. Miss manners is STUPID. It's 2009 not 1932.
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  #11  
March 6th, 2009, 06:33 PM
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I had a shower for my first baby that was planned and I'm sorry but I HATED IT! Call me rude and ungrateful but it was planned 3 days after I gave birth, I was tired and sore and didn't feel like having a party at that time. I'm for showers but do it before baby comes or after and I think that the new mom should have a say for a date if it is within the first month. JMO

For DS, I threw a "meet the baby" party...didn't expect gifts but people still brought stuff. We supplied everything else, it was on our timing and everyone was super excited...that one went much better. Again JMO
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  #12  
March 28th, 2009, 12:44 PM
hopesNdreams's Avatar Proud BF'ing Mama!!!
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One of my friends through mine...When family wouldn't.. Thats nice of your coworkers...my friend that did my baby shower also worked with me...
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  #13  
April 2nd, 2009, 06:04 AM
SaraBaby's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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LURKING=)

I don't follow miss manners' rules either. I wrote out my own guest list, wrote out all my invitations myself, but mailed them in my moms name. My mom and sister are throwing it, I just stayed on top of the planning. My sister has 3 kids of her own, and has my nephew, works and goes to school 2 nights a week, she has a lot on her plate. And my mom works full time, and has plenty to do with helping her two kids who aren't doing so well. So therefor, I did most of my own shower planning.
I even put my registry number in the invite. My sister said to go ahead and do it, and she's miss prim and proper, so if she said yes, then thats a go ahead!
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  #14  
April 7th, 2009, 09:59 AM
monilove's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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All I want to know is who is MISS MANNERS???

If the purpose for the shower is to bless the unborn baby, why is the emphasis on who is throwing the shower versus the purpose of the shower?
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  #15  
April 8th, 2009, 07:39 PM
anjelt's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Miss Manners is a columnist who writes on the rights and wrong way to do stuff. She is in papers!!
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  #16  
April 10th, 2009, 09:57 AM
monilove's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Interesting....never heard of her. I still say the emphasis should be on the blessings to the baby / parents and not the right and wrong of who is throwing the shower.

Because each of us are uniquely different in the way we live our lives, the same rules can not apply across the board. I say to whomever is thinking about throwing their own shower, go for it.
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  #17  
April 10th, 2009, 09:57 AM
monilove's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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DP
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Last edited by monilove; April 10th, 2009 at 09:59 AM.
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  #18  
April 13th, 2009, 06:50 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by anjelt View Post
Good for you, I don't like Miss Manners either!!! Like I said its the year 2009!! No one does anything traditionally anymore. Have fun don't forget to post pictures!
Right!!! Im throwing my own, I mean its in conjunction with my Mother In Law (after the fact), But I picked the date, color theme, food, etc. I don't have many friends/close family and if I waited for someone to ever throw me a party, Id never have one, LOL

I have people who will be helping with food etc. I am NOT worried about weather its rude or bad manners, LMAO ... how is it rude, when its for me and my family, LOL

Especially after my Maid of Honor never threw me a bridal shower, I refused to wait for anyone to do anything for me again, LOL
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Last edited by ArMiBen; April 13th, 2009 at 06:55 AM.
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  #19  
April 23rd, 2009, 11:52 AM
soaplady's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I guess I am on the opposite end! I do follow ettiquete, and would never throw it myself.That's just me, though. A shower is where a friend (or more) showers you with gifts. It really shouldn't be thrown by yourself or your side of the family. Every baby needs to be celebrated, though, so if no one offers, I think it changes the situation enough to do differently. Every baby is special and needs to be welcomed!!

But that said, I think it also depends on your traditions and values witin your social group. If your fam and friends don't care, then go ahead. Generally, society runs along the rules of it's peers, so if you and your loved ones are beer and hot dog lovers, there is no need to have wine and cheese...you know? lol! and vice versa. Dh and I are both from social backgrounds, and when doing things with family and family friends we usually have to follow suit. But at our home with our close friends, it's football, beer and chips.
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