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Love, Strength, courage and hope vibes please.


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  #1  
September 20th, 2008, 05:20 PM
(.Y.)mom2dd(.Y.)
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My dh's cousin was stunting with his friend on their dirt bikes. Apparently they were jumping on hills and collided. My dh's cousin took the brunt of it. He is surgery right now with a busted pelvis, undetermined internal bleeding and his eye dialitions' are unresponsive so they don't know the extent of his brain injury. It's moment to moment. My dh is at the ER right now trying to consol his aunt and her partner. (The partner is the mother of the boy.) There is also a social worker helping them.

I don't know if his fate to be on the Earth or to carry on for now. I'm praying to the higher power for guidance, love, strength, courage and hope. If his fate is to leave this Earth, I pray that his angels lead him to the right place and to give strength, guidance, healing and courage to my aunts. If his fate is stay, I pray for strength, courage, hope and love to heal him and to give strength, guidance, healing and courage to my aunts.

I'll keep you posted. Love, Strength, courage and hope vibes please.

ETA: Social worker is with them now to help make decisions.

Update: He's out of surgery and in ICU. The doctors are going to be looking at cat scans before talking to us about his condition. He's going through blood continuously. They've "packed" his pelvis with the hope they stopped the bleeding..

ANother update: Samantha and I were in the tub. He's not going to make it. They told his little brother... awful...

His name is Neil. Right now our aunts and his little brother are saying good bye. His dad and other family are flying in and they don't know yet. (So please, to those who have my facebook, don't post anything on my facebook until tomorrow.) Dh will likely be driving to the airport at around 10:30 with his aunt to pick up family. I would imagine my MIL will be staying with us. I just gave him all the numbers of family because he is going to make the call...

He is/was 18. I don't know what to say.. He was so bright, funny ~ I mean really quick witted. I'm just broken thinking of it all.

i gotta go.
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  #2  
September 20th, 2008, 08:39 PM
Girl_interrupted
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Oh, Michelle, that's awful! I pray that you all have the strength to endure this.
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  #3  
September 20th, 2008, 11:12 PM
beck12's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Michigan
Posts: 12,330
Oh Michelle - I just don't know what to say hun. I am so sorry you & Dh are going through this all. What a tough time Darcy's family has been through recently. Again - I am so sorry.
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B - Crazy momma to my two boys
We've begun to raise daughters more like sons... but few have the courage to raise our sons more like our daughters. ~Gloria Steinem

If a man has been his mother's undisputed darling he retains throughout life the triumphant feeling, the confidence in success, which not seldom brings actual success along with it. ~Sigmund Freud
My mom is a neverending song in my heart of comfort, happiness, and being. I may sometimes forget the words but I always remember the tune. ~Graycie Harmon
Don't wait to make your son a great man - make him a great boy. ~Author Unknown
You don't raise heroes, you raise sons. And if you treat them like sons, they'll turn out to be heroes, even if it's just in your own eyes. ~Walter M. Schirra, Sr.
A man loves his sweetheart the most, his wife the best, but his mother the longest. ~Irish Proverb
Mother's love is peace. It need not be acquired, it need not be deserved. ~Erich Fromm
Children need love, especially when they do not deserve it. - Harold Hulbert
Mother is the name for God in the lips and hearts of little children. ~William Makepeace Thackeray
God could not be everywhere, so he created mothers. ~Jewish Proverb
The best conversations with mothers always take place in silence, when only the heart speaks. ~Carrie Latet




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  #4  
September 21st, 2008, 04:19 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Brandon, FL
Posts: 1,201
I just saw this, and Im praying for your family.
I pray that god gives you all the strength and courage you need to be able to get through this awful time.
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Jessica-mommy to Joshua 9.22.2007
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  #5  
September 21st, 2008, 08:18 PM
**Jenn**'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: May 2005
Location: NJ
Posts: 11,433
How horrible and tragic! My prayers go out to you, dh, and his family.
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  #6  
September 21st, 2008, 08:46 PM
(.Y.)mom2dd(.Y.)
Guest
Posts: n/a
I re-read this and I don't think it makes a whole lot of sense so I'm going to try this again.

A little background.. My Dh's aunt, my MIL's sister, is a lesbian and I'll refer her to as Aunt S. Her partner is the mother of Neill and I'll refer to her as T. Our Aunt S is the legal step-mom of Neill and his little brother. So to Dh, Neill and his brother are his step-cousins. Neill and his mom T are not originally from here but are from an indian reservation in BC. His dad and T are (obviously) divorced and then T came out after having kids. I assumed it was Neill's dad that was flying out but it wasn't. It was a sister of T.

Neill was dirt biking with his buddy on his buddy's land. They were all wearing the proper safety gear. They were jumping ditches and had a collision. Neill's friend landed on grass with barely a stratch on him. Neill landed on high grade gravel road, the base of his neck first. No helmet would have helped him but he was wearing one. Apparently the bike landed on him after and they think that busted his pelvis. He was brain dead from the accident and even if the 14 doctors/surgeons that worked on him couldn't have saved him. They fixed his pelvis enough to harvest his organs which will be apparently donated. It seemed that they knew but procedures had them do the surgeries first because he was bleeding so bad. Until they did cat-scans and other medical procedures, they didn't/can't say he was gone. When they had all the tests to confirm there was no brain activity, they then told us that he wasn't going to make it. (I think we all had our hopes up that he would make it because so many people were working on him and so much time had gone by in surgery.) While that was going on, DH was desperately trying to get ahold of his mom but she drove down to the hospital. (It's an hour and half drive.) Dh and his mom were there when the news Neill wouldn't make it came through. Neill's mom T and brother... (how do you even describe their reaction?) were inconsolable. DH's aunt was in shock ~ dh said she couldn't make sentences and was surprised her body could remember to breathe. He drove them home which is just outside of the city in a neighbouring town. MIL stayed the night here. DH and MIL come in around 2 am.

I was cleaning and crying last night and ended up with a stupid migraine this morning at 5 am. DD was nursing and I started heaving so I had to get up which upset her. DH and MIL ended up getting up with her by 6 am because I was so sick and she woke up. MIL left to go home at 7. DH took dd and let me sleep off my migraine. We called our aunts to go over and seen them in the afternoon. Neill's friends were starting to get the news. The friend he was with and his parents stopped by the house while we were there. Deb, you are so right. That poor kid and his family are doing terribly. (Aunt T, Neill and his little brother are some of the sweetest people you could ever meet. After meeting T's sister, I see the whole family is that way.) It's so hard to watch so many kind people in pain. I wish we had the words and actions to help people who have lost like this.

Anyway, the local service mainly for his friends will be on Tuesday. After that, they plan on flying his body back to where they are originally from. I could tell by the phone calls, a distant cousin carving the casket, another craving a raven for the casket... it's going to be a beautiful service filled with honour and tradition. My understanding is the res is very close and when he went back to be with his dad and all the other family, it's like everyone is family. Needless to say they are having a hard time too.

He just graduated from high school and was enrolled in the EMS program. I know because of the nature of his personality that he lived a rich, meaningful life. He always struke me as an old soul. He had so much character, wisdom and humour.. I feel like the Earth is missing something more than we could ever know. I really don't understand why the best people seem to go first. I guess they come to the earth accomplish what it is they were meant to do and then part again. It just seemed like regardless of how rich his life may have been, it feels he was taken too soon. I can't imagine how his brother feels nor his mom. When I hugged her, I don't have the words..

If you made it this far thank you for listening to my incoherant thoughts and recollection of it. I'm sure I'll still chat here and there about it. To everyone who sent a prayer to him, his family and us in general, please know how grateful I am to you. I believe there is power in those thoughts, words and actions. I can't express how much it means to me even though many of you are strangers IRL.

Peace and love, Michelle

ETA.. I still don't know if this makes any sense!
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  #7  
September 22nd, 2008, 03:47 PM
beck12's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Michigan
Posts: 12,330
Michelle - I wish I knew something beautiful & profound to say. I just truly am sorry for your loss & especially for his dad, his moms & his brother...what a terrible thing for them to endure.
__________________
B - Crazy momma to my two boys
We've begun to raise daughters more like sons... but few have the courage to raise our sons more like our daughters. ~Gloria Steinem

If a man has been his mother's undisputed darling he retains throughout life the triumphant feeling, the confidence in success, which not seldom brings actual success along with it. ~Sigmund Freud
My mom is a neverending song in my heart of comfort, happiness, and being. I may sometimes forget the words but I always remember the tune. ~Graycie Harmon
Don't wait to make your son a great man - make him a great boy. ~Author Unknown
You don't raise heroes, you raise sons. And if you treat them like sons, they'll turn out to be heroes, even if it's just in your own eyes. ~Walter M. Schirra, Sr.
A man loves his sweetheart the most, his wife the best, but his mother the longest. ~Irish Proverb
Mother's love is peace. It need not be acquired, it need not be deserved. ~Erich Fromm
Children need love, especially when they do not deserve it. - Harold Hulbert
Mother is the name for God in the lips and hearts of little children. ~William Makepeace Thackeray
God could not be everywhere, so he created mothers. ~Jewish Proverb
The best conversations with mothers always take place in silence, when only the heart speaks. ~Carrie Latet




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  #8  
September 25th, 2008, 10:40 PM
Radish4ever's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Fort Worth, TX
Posts: 2,079
Oh, Michelle I am at a complete loss of words. I am so sorry
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  #9  
September 27th, 2008, 10:02 AM
Lilah's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Location: Boston, Massachusetts
Posts: 14,078
My heart goes out to you and your family. I am so incredibly sorry. Great big !!!!!
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  #10  
September 28th, 2008, 06:44 AM
feather's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Location: Maine
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Such a tragedy. I am so sorry.
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  #11  
September 28th, 2008, 09:03 AM
~Jess~'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Central California
Posts: 16,959
I somehow missed this when it was happening. I'm so sorry, Michelle.
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  #12  
September 28th, 2008, 09:21 AM
Kristin143's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Location: Upstate NY
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Im very very sorry!!

T&P being sent <33
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  #13  
September 28th, 2008, 10:46 AM
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Location: Michigan
Posts: 26,184
I am so sorry for you and your family's loss
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