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I feel guilty, but I think I'm ready to be done nursing. My dd is 30 months and she has been asking to nurse a lot lately. I can't sit down w/o her asking. I just want to snuggle her without her being hooked to the booby. If you KWIM? DH is getting annoyed because he wants to snuggle with her sometimes, but not when we are all together like when we're watching a movie.... she wants to nurse.
When she asks I try to distract her with one of her favorite snacks or toys, but that only lasts for about an hour. And she still nurses about 3 - 5 times at night. It's wearing me out.
I want to do it gently and I know it's going to take time... will you ladies share what worked for you and your LO or share some good websites to check out? I know everyone is different but I'm willing to try. TIA!
Instead of distracting her, do you ever just tell her "no"? I feel I have to set limits sometimes to stay comfortable with nursing my toddler, and with both of my DD's, there were times I just told them "no" when they asked to nurse. Anna has gotten into a good habit of just nursing for naps and nighttime (and a million times during the night, but that's another thing). If she asks during the day, unless she is hurt, I usually tell her "no" or jokingly say "You silly girl, you don't need to nurse right now" and find something else for her to do. I'm sure she protested a little at first, but doesn't anymore. Just getting into the habit of telling her no when I didn't feel comfortable with nursing her at the time, really helped. My DD is a major cuddler too, so she still gets a lot of cuddles during the day in place of nursing.
Now night nursing is very different. My DD also nurses anywhere from 2-5 times a night. I'm really hoping that as my supply continues to decrease with the pregnancy, she will naturally cut it out herself, but if she doesn't, we will be night weaning within the next few months. I just can't keep doing the all-night nursing!
Andrea, mom to Abigail (6) Annabelle (4) and Alexis (1)
I do just tell her no and I'm sticking to it where before I didn't. Since I posted this I've only been letting her BF to fall asleep for nap and bed time. She still asks throughout the day but I noticed since I started to tell her no and sticking to it she doesn't push it. Before she would ask as shes undressing me. lol. I told her today after she asked that she can come sit with me but your not going to nurse. She didn't this time but she sits with me a lot more w/o having to nurse now and I enjoy that. She now wants to go to bed earlier too because that's her time to nurse.
I feel better doing it this way. I wasn't liking her being pushy, but that was because I was being a push over. Now that I'm not she isn't as pushy. I believe it's benefiting both of us.
My older one is just nursing at bedtime now, other than when she is sick. I have given in when she is sick a couple of times. I basically just told her no, not right now, etc. As I limited it to bedtime I started telling her that she couldn't nurse until it was dark out and she had her jammies on. Of course, her being the con artist she so wonderfully is, she would tell me noon on the sunniest day of the year that she could see the moon and it was too dark out and she didn't need jammies because she could just drink "me" with her clothes on. She is a booger though!!
I'd say when she starts to feel a little better just start limiting it again. It doesn't have to be cut and dry with when she can and when she can't nurse. You guys can roll with it with each day being a new day and see how things play out.
I am starting with night weaning. We have gotten to where she nurses right before bed and then lays down. She no longer nurses to sleep. Then I don't nurse her again til about 5am. She is going about 10-11 hrs at night without nursing (although she still gets up a million times). My next step is to let her nurse first thing when she gets up, after school, then before bed. Once that is doing ok, I will cut out the after school session and then the morning one. Eventually. Gosh I hope its not too hard.
I do agree that when they are sick, you have to make exceptions. being sick is no fun for anyone. Nursing will help to make it a little more bearable for you both!! Good luck!
Thanks ladies. I don't want it to be cut and dry. I just want to her to know that she can snuggle with mom w/o being hooked to the boob. Now she's feeling better so she isn't asking as much and she take no for an answer. I will explain to her that we will for nap and then when she asks after she wakes up from her nap I will tell her when we get our jammies on, brush our teeth, wash our face and hands then we can lay down so you can nurse. She's doing good.
In the night last night she was nursing for, which seemed like a long time and I finally told her she needed to roll over and go to sleep. She fussed a little and told me she didn't want to and that only lasted about 2 minutes and she was back to sleep. Now that I know she can do it and I'm going to keep trying that until she gets use to it. Before I would let her keep nursing when she would fuss about rolling over and tell her only for a minute because it's time to roll over and go back to sleep. That worked most of the time, but I'm going to try not giving in unless she gets to upset and loud.
I definitely know that feeling. I wanted to have a little bit of time with my boobs to myself before I was pregnant again. I ended up with 2.5 months, and that worked for me. My favorite weaning resource was "How Weaning Happens" - it's a La Leche League book.
My DH was never supportive of breastfeeding and definitely not supportive of extended breastfeeding (for the second baby, he's changed his tune though ), so his pressure on me was a huge factor in our weaning, too. With DS, just telling him no was the only thing that worked, just like Andrea suggested.
I'm glad you are standing up for yourself. It's so hard to realize that can be the answer with all the emotions tied in to breastfeeding. That's how Dalton was too when I started saying no - he pushed maybe once and then he got over it. Now he still climbs in to my lap to snuggle before falling asleep for nap. It's so awesome.
__________________ Joanna wife, mother, blogger, support group leader, perpetually behind on laundry