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getting to the end of my rope! need advice!


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  #1  
February 9th, 2011, 08:18 PM
kmac's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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firstly, HI! i am kristen and i have 2 girls, emerson, who is 2 and suriah, who is 13 months. i am still bfing suriah and never had any "goal" in mind. i was just going to do it until i felt like i didnt want to anymore or until she decided she was done...and ive never reached that point before.....until NOW.

lately she has gotten VERY demanding with it. if we are at home, she literally wants my boob in her mouth at all times. if i sit down, she INSISTS on nursing.....she will pull down my shirt and pull out my boob. if i tell her no, or try to redirect her, she will flip out and start crying. she nurses at least 20 or so times a day and that is insane to me. and then she has an all night nurse a thon. i have become a human pacifier. she never nursed this frequently before and i dont like the attitude that comes with it now. i wouldnt have a problem continuing to nurse but i am really getting to the point with her recent behavior that i want to be done. also, she recently got top teeth and has now begun to bite as well and thinks its funny.

so....i need advice. advice on how to either help curb this behavior regarding nursing, so that we can continue to happily nurse. or i need advice on how to wean her so that we can stop this behavior once and for all. i also could use advice regarding the biting....

thanks!
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  #2  
February 9th, 2011, 08:40 PM
Destiny
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Oh wow. 20 really is a lot. What I did when I started weaning Eliana was I gave her lots of finger food, and beverages, and I left them in a place she could reach them (right now it's on a chair, cheerios and a cup of water or milk). Your daughter is very close in age to mine, so maybe I can help a little bit.
I started cutting her sessions shorter. If she bit at all I would put her down and go do something not nursing friendly (like dishes or vacuuming or just go and play with her toys) I would also not let her nurse if she had nursed recently, since she's older it's not going to hurt her if you slowly start spacing and shortening your nursing sessions.
Just remember to be consistent. If you say no, stick to it. Offer her other foods but be sure not to give in. You can either completely wean her or get her to a number of nursings that you're happy with.
I hope I was of help.
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  #3  
February 10th, 2011, 04:39 AM
mgm78's Avatar Zoe's mom Meredith
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This was us around the same time. I brought it up at LLL and they said it is normal behavior for that age. With walking and starting to talk, they get so independant, but need to feel close and secure to mom, so increased nursing is very common.
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  #4  
February 10th, 2011, 09:52 AM
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With Dalton, I had to make sure not to react when he bit me and also unlatch him right away. That behavior is so typical for that age, but it passes too. The important thing is to remember that you are in charge. Sometimes you just have to say no to nursing or unlatch her and take a break. That's what I had to do with Dalton, because otherwise I would've lost my marbles. I hope that helps.
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  #5  
February 11th, 2011, 10:40 PM
BoobyDutyAgainJen's Avatar Proud Mom & Birth Mom
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No way that precious angel in your siggy does those things!!!!! She is too sweet for the likes of that!!

No, really, all of what you mentioned is perfectly normal for this age. That does not mean it is necessarily acceptable or ok, but it is typical. And it does pass!!! This is not something she will be doing forever. It always seems like when you are ready to lose your marbles the situation shifts and becomes something you can work with or even love.

With all that said, you have to decide what you want to do. If you are ready to wean, which I don't think you do, I can only suggest you head to the weaning board. I have not gotten there yet! If you want to keep nursing then you will likely have to start setting some boundaries with it. My Leila was very much similar and I am going through some variation of that with Owen now. I think "breathing for two" said it the best with this:
Quote:
I started cutting her sessions shorter. If she bit at all I would put her down and go do something not nursing friendly (like dishes or vacuuming or just go and play with her toys) I would also not let her nurse if she had nursed recently, since she's older it's not going to hurt her if you slowly start spacing and shortening your nursing sessions.
Just remember to be consistent. If you say no, stick to it. Offer her other foods but be sure not to give in. You can either completely wean her or get her to a number of nursings that you're happy with.
That is what I have done with Leila...she is now down to once a day with this method. Of course, she is 3 so this has been a long course of getting to that point.

Remember, this too shall pass! They do move beyond a lot of the "nursing no no's" but sometimes they need a little guidance. If she isn't sick, hurt, etc then you have to do what works for you and her to continue a happy breastfeeding relationship.
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  #6  
February 13th, 2011, 06:40 PM
kmac's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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thanks for the advice everyone...

i dont really want to wean, but i am REALLY sick of being a pacifier, especially at night and i dont appreciate her throwing tantrums whenever i sit or lay down because she views that as her open invitation to nurse. i am having a hard time limiting her...i cut her down dramatically the other day and counted how many times she nursed and it was 7 times during the day. at night she sleeps about 3-4 hours and then nurses ALL. NIGHT. LONG. literally. my nipple is in her mouth the entire night and i cant move or get it out or she wakes up and cries. and my 2 year old is in the same room (we are currently living with my parents and are all sharing a room) so i dont want her to wake up my other daughter either...which makes the situation harder since i cant really let her cry. if this is a phase, i am hoping that she grows out of it soon because i really dont like her being this way about nursing and its kind of souring the experience for me a bit.

thanks again
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  #7  
February 14th, 2011, 11:15 AM
mgm78's Avatar Zoe's mom Meredith
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It is a phase. I recently cut back the night nursing, but have been letting her have it as much as she wants during the day as a compromise. We went from (at 13 months) 6-10 times a night, to following the No Cry Sleep Solution and going to 2-4 times a night, and with the cutting back on nighttime nursing (i put time limits on it) averaging 2 times a night.
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  #8  
February 19th, 2011, 02:15 PM
Zoostergirl's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Ultimately you need to decide what is the best balance for you and your daughter. It does sound like a really tough time right now. It is likely a phase, but hard to tell how long it will last.

Perhaps she is teething and in pain. Have you tried giving her Tylenol to see if that helps at all?

Sorry you're going through this.
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  #9  
February 20th, 2011, 12:06 PM
ItalySarah's Avatar Proud Attached Mommy
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Ugh, I remember this stage with Bella and it was miserable. Finally, I started telling her no and offering her a cup of milk/water/juice. I also tried things like "wait a few minutes and then you can nurse" or lets go do x and you can nurse after.

As for night time nursing, I have no ideas. We are FINALLY night weaned but Bella is still waking up 3-5 times a night.

Good luck. I hope that you guys can get to a place where you are happily nursing again.
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  #10  
March 1st, 2011, 12:18 PM
Kalia20's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Mine went through the same. I just told her no and got up and walked away and found something to do. Now that shes 3 I've got her down to once a day, sometimes more depending on the day.
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