I want to stop

mgm78 · #1 December 9th, 2011, 09:03 AM

and no one can seem to help me short of cutting her off cold turkey

The nursing demands are just too much for me and I just cannot handle it anymore. She is rude, pushy, physical and just not respectful of my breasts or my space. This is the only time she exhibits those behaviors as well. If I cut her off (like i want to eat dinner and she has nursed for 20 minutes already) she flips out, like total meltdown. I just do not know what to do. I have tried interacting with her and playing with her more. I have tried giving her something in a sippy or food. I have tried not sitting ever. I have tried pretty much everything. Some days are not too bad, but the past few days I am just really at my wit's end. If anyone has any advice, please share!!!!! i feel guilty, but at the same time she is over 2.5yo and I feel like I have done well.

andi2284 · #2 December 11th, 2011, 08:59 PM

:hugs:

With Anna, I just started telling her "no" when I didn't want to nurse. For several weeks, she still insisted and threw fits, but slowly stopped asking as much and eventually quit asking altogether. I don't think telling her no means that you have to stop nursing altogether, just take it one nursing at a time. A few times a day, tell her "not right now, let's do this, then maybe we can nurse" or just tell her "no" a few times a day and let her nurse the others.

You have done awesome Meredith, you should feel really proud for nursing her so long!

mgm78 · #3 December 12th, 2011, 04:40 AM

thanks Andi. I will keep trying to say no, but she gets really physical with her tantrums that i cave, but i know i need to stand my ground!

mommy2skyty · #4 December 12th, 2011, 10:03 PM

I am in the same situation! My son pulls up my shirt and says" I want my boobies"! It is getting really old and I am soo ready to wean him! I have no idea on how to do it either! I feel like it is my fault for giving in and letting him nurse this long but I love breastfeeding him for the most part. I know I will miss it when I stop. Does anyone have any advice? Goodluck to you ladies too!

mgm78 · #5 December 13th, 2011, 05:03 AM

i know it is bittersweet and it was very hard for me to admit it to myself that i wanted to stop.

Jule'sMomInOR · #6 December 13th, 2011, 12:33 PM

I really can't be too helpful because I haven't been through it, but I think by giving into tantrums you are teaching her that if she cries enough you'll nurse her. I know it's easier said than done to stand your ground. Maybe think about a way to keep her safe when she's having a tantrum, or distraction technique (maybe offering a favorite food or toy?) to try to minimize the tantrum or come up with some way of dealing with it other than giving in. You've probably already tried all that and I'm not being very helpful. I also think if you force her to stop nursing when she's disrespectful of your body, she's old enough that after a few times she may get it and learn to cooperate.

Jule'sMomInOR · #7 December 13th, 2011, 02:44 PM

How many days per week and for how many hours per day does she go to pre-school? I assume she doesn't think about nursing much then. If this is really bothering you, could you put her in pre-school 5 days per week? It sounds extreme but I know you're working and need childcare anyway.

mgm78 · #8 December 13th, 2011, 04:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jule'sMomInOR

How many days per week and for how many hours per day does she go to pre-school? I assume she doesn't think about nursing much then. If this is really bothering you, could you put her in pre-school 5 days per week? It sounds extreme but I know you're working and need childcare anyway.

She is there 4 days a week, 6-7 hours a day. It seemed to increase the nursing and she has been there since August

it makes her want it more

Jule'sMomInOR · #9 December 14th, 2011, 08:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mgm78

She is there 4 days a week, 6-7 hours a day. It seemed to increase the nursing and she has been there since August

it makes her want it more

I'm sorry, I'm out of ideas. I'm pretty sure I'm going to be in the same situation in another year or so.

I hope you figure something out.

mgm78 · #10 December 15th, 2011, 04:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jule'sMomInOR

I'm sorry, I'm out of ideas. I'm pretty sure I'm going to be in the same situation in another year or so.

I hope you figure something out.

when i figure it out you'll be one of the first to know. LOL

breathing for two · #11 December 23rd, 2011, 02:41 PM

With Eliana I started letting her nurse just a couple of times a day, when I'm okay with it. It's usually just in the morning. But after a few weeks she figured that it was up to me and not her. I haven't weaned her yet, but it might be a good place to start.

mgm78 · #12 December 26th, 2011, 11:26 AM

we are pretty limited to morning and night for the most part. She just got 2 of her 2 year molars in and i think that has made it worse (with being sick as well) so once the other two come in, i am going to try to cut it back more. There have been some days where she barely nurses and it is great, i could handle that frequency.

fromGirltoMommy · #13 January 2nd, 2012, 12:57 PM

I started telling her boobies were sleeeping. Around 2 I cut her down from 6-8x a day to only 3x. She was allowed to nurse in the morning and then AFTER nap and then just before bed. She stopped nursing to sleep well before she turned 2. But if she asked to nurse before it was time I would eplain that boobies were sleeping and after nap/dinner she could nurse again. It took probably a good week but she got it. And eventually I would say boobies were sleeping and she would tell me no mommy they are going potty, or that they were eating.

I never tried to cut her down after that I was fine with the 3x a day but now we are 4m later and she only nurses onces every 2-3 days and that she did all on her own. In between those days she does like to look at the boobs and will tell me they are sleeping with this adorable grin

Youll get there and it is HARD, and it will be bittersweet. I enjoy all these breaks now! I dont blame you at all

mgm78 · #14 January 3rd, 2012, 05:02 AM

yeah we are at 2-3 times a day, but i want to be completely done! LOL.

wildchihuahua · #15 January 3rd, 2012, 07:10 AM

I'm mentally ready to be done too, but we're only at 14 months and it's harder to reason with him like a 2 year old (as much as you can reason with a 2 y/o. lol). I have started setting time limits when I know he's only nursing for "fun".

mgm78 · #16 January 3rd, 2012, 09:11 AM

i find it has gotten harder as she gets older to say no, because she talks back and is more verbal about what she wants

frgsonmysox · #17 January 3rd, 2012, 05:37 PM

You can try contractual nursing. I did it with my daughter when I was tired of tandem nursing her and her brother around the clock. Allow her to nurse when ask but put limits on it. Such as, "You can nurse but only until I am done singing this song". That way she is still nursing when SHE wants, but you are controlling for how long.

Skimboardin Mama · #18 January 4th, 2012, 12:08 AM

I just introduced myself but all I can say is I know how you feel. I would love to wean as well, but i can't stand the tantrums and the screaming/crying. She even threw a fit at DLand yesterday (seriously not even that place can distract her!?!?!) I haven't had a chance to read all the responses you got yet, but i'll check back and hope we both get some good advice!

mgm78 · #19 January 4th, 2012, 05:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by frgsonmysox

You can try contractual nursing. I did it with my daughter when I was tired of tandem nursing her and her brother around the clock. Allow her to nurse when ask but put limits on it. Such as, "You can nurse but only until I am done singing this song". That way she is still nursing when SHE wants, but you are controlling for how long.

i tried that and i tried a timer that was a duck that quacked.

Jule'sMomInOR · #20 January 4th, 2012, 11:26 AM

My friend weaned her daughter by telling her they can only nurse in the rocking chair. The rocking chair was upstairs and not close to the toys, so the LO had to want to nurse pretty bad to go so far away from her play area. She said it worked well to get down to just nursing before nap and before bed but those last two were really tough.