[Mod-krislati]

once a cheater, always a cheater?

[Lady Lotus]

Yes.

I think if they lack the respect for their SO already that they'd cheat in the first place as well as lack the resolve to stop themselves realizing how foolish they were being...than they wouldnt feel the need to gain any of those if temptation(used loosely) shows its face again.

[sfarrow3]

Originally Posted by Lady Lotus

Yes.

I think its extremely rare for a man to take the time to strengthen his resolves. Too many are thinking they are able to resist and their ego gets in the way and then there are others who just dont give a rip and will do it at the drop of a hat.

I would also have to agree with this. This is based only from my experience and others I know. Of course I think there are men out there that may have been able to get it together, but in my experience those men are few and far in between.

[Lorena26]

Mmm i'm kind of inclined to say yes to this as well...my experiences say so

[Mod-krislati]

I totally say yes, my old boyfriend in HS was such a cheat and he still cheats on his wife now. what a jerk!

[-LovingLife-]

In most cases, yes. But for a person who truely changes their heart, then no.

Of course it is rare, why?
1. Because it takes educating themselves(i.e. how to be faithful/ what a REAL relationship is all about & how it works)
2. committing to a new way of being and
3. then discipline to stick to the new way of being even when it gets hard(i.e. the ex-cheater and spouse have an arguement/not communicating well).

Respect and love are vital to a healthy relationship. Cheating is wounding the relationship, damaging the ability to give or receive respect or love. A partnership CAN move on passed infidelity, but yes it is defficult. Yes it is hard work. For both spouses involved.
But the relationship can be so much better and strong after. Like a bone that heals stronger after a break. Or the people can let it be like a bone that doesn't heal well and forever causes pain and discomfort and is weaker than before.

[mommydiva]

No. I have BTDT on both sides of the fence. And found out in our journey of overcoming all this has proven that cheating is rarely black and white issue and has very little to do with the other person.
Not saying there are not those out there who are total losers.

Since its hard to get a clear cut statistic on it. In a book we were reading it said unofficial 1 in 3 couples deal with infidelity in some form and in some point of their relationship. And that is just the ones that actually know.

[sfarrow3]

Originally Posted by mommydiva

No. I have BTDT on both sides of the fence. And found out in our journey of overcoming all this has proven that cheating is rarely black and white issue and has very little to do with the other person.
Not saying there are not those out there who are total losers.

Since its hard to get a clear cut statistic on it. In a book we were reading it said unofficial 1 in 3 couples deal with infidelity in some form and in some point of their relationship. And that is just the ones that actually know.

You make some very interesting points Tanya.

[Doralovinmomma]

i say it depends but i also believe people can change. i did. i only technically cheated once in a relationship when i was 19. but i have been in other unofficial cheating situations and i have come a long way since then. i wouldnt dream of cheating on my husband and i stay out of those situations that could possibly help something like that happen

[LindsayMom09]

No I don't think that once a cheater always a cheater. But that's just based on my own experience.

[HeartHelloKitty]

No, I think that it's often situational and people can grow and learn to not put themselves in those situations.