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How important are the long chats?


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  #1  
September 17th, 2012, 12:15 PM
sfarrow3's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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How important to a relationship are those long deep conversations that last hours?
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  #2  
September 17th, 2012, 12:19 PM
inyourhonor's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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For us, I think they are very important. They help us get all our feelings and thoughts out, the other person is actually sitting and actively listening to everything you say. You can discuss and disagree at the same time, work out previous issues that still hadn't been fixed.

Our long long late night talks actually help us get further into our relationship and fix things that have been festering. Especially if the other party didn't know that something was bothering the other person. We can say what we want and need to say and resolve pretty much everything we bring up during them.
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  #3  
September 17th, 2012, 12:43 PM
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They are critical, but in our house, they tend to happen when something else in the relationship is riding off the rails. I think if we have those long heart to hearts that last for hours more than once every month or two, we got some serious trouble here.
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  #4  
September 17th, 2012, 01:14 PM
inyourhonor's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Our long talks aren't always about the issues in our relationships, but it's a nice way for me to get out how I'm feeling, and him as well. We both tend to hold our feelings in so we don't want to bother the other person. That doesn't always work haha, so long talks definitely help us.
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  #5  
September 17th, 2012, 01:57 PM
Blue-Jay's Avatar Jenny
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We tend to get our issues out right away, and rarely actually fight. We definitely disagree, and we might have a few spats a week, but we don't let big issues build up. DH is not going to be able to pay attention for a super long conversation, so we try to keep our check-ins short and frequent (every couple of days).
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  #6  
September 17th, 2012, 02:52 PM
Keakie's Avatar Learning to walk in faith
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They're really important for us. A good, long conversation for us could be about a lot of things... feelings or frustrations at hand, hopes for the future, life experiences, outlooks on faith and politics and what it all means for us as people. Sometimes long talks clear the air and get us back on the same page after an off week, and sometimes they're just fun over a glass of wine and sometimes they're intellectually challenging, which is nice. When we don't have time to talk, we can both get a little grumpy.
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  #7  
September 17th, 2012, 03:05 PM
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They're pretty important. We don't usually have time to talk which is a bummer though. By the time the little one is in bed we are too and we're pretty sleepy so we fall asleep before our heads hit the pillow.
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  #8  
September 17th, 2012, 03:14 PM
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We tend to get them out as we go along, so we don't have very many long conversations.
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  #9  
September 17th, 2012, 07:38 PM
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we've been together so long that we're pretty good at dealing with the pressing issues by phone or text, or over the kids--the bigger conversations are the touchier ones where big decisions need to be made. The long talk all night convos happened early in the relationship, not so much now
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  #10  
September 17th, 2012, 07:40 PM
Jessimaaka's Avatar Pink in a house of Blue
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I'm with Kayla...they can be about anything and they happen relatively frequently. A lot of the time, we'll hop in the car, pick a spot within a few hours on the gps and head there and chat on the way there and back. I love those times
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  #11  
September 18th, 2012, 06:08 AM
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Yeah, I can tell you without blinking an eye that all this changed when we had a kid. We used to have the long chats about whatever. That's how you get to know one another and build intimacy.

But once there's a kid in the mix and time which was already precious becomes almost non-existent and the pressures of day to day life change - that's when our chats changed too.
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  #12  
September 18th, 2012, 07:23 AM
Amaranth Dhanya's Avatar aka Hillarie
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Had deep convos with DH and I enjoy them.

However, never had them last hours.

I also think they arent as important as the little ones or just flat out talking in general.
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  #13  
September 18th, 2012, 09:17 AM
sfarrow3's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I think they are important. I do agree with Kayla, but also Becky.. Since throwing kids in the mix the long converstations are far and in between unless we have serious pressing issues which are rare. WE do try to do date night twice a month. Although even then we try not to use that time to discuss serious issues related to children or home life. We like to use that time to simply enjoy one another.
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  #14  
September 19th, 2012, 10:59 AM
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They're not high on the priority list, we do talk and get things out and spend some time together, but we're both too tired and have too many kids to have the time to spend hours talking.
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