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For us, I think they are very important. They help us get all our feelings and thoughts out, the other person is actually sitting and actively listening to everything you say. You can discuss and disagree at the same time, work out previous issues that still hadn't been fixed.
Our long long late night talks actually help us get further into our relationship and fix things that have been festering. Especially if the other party didn't know that something was bothering the other person. We can say what we want and need to say and resolve pretty much everything we bring up during them.
They are critical, but in our house, they tend to happen when something else in the relationship is riding off the rails. I think if we have those long heart to hearts that last for hours more than once every month or two, we got some serious trouble here.
Our long talks aren't always about the issues in our relationships, but it's a nice way for me to get out how I'm feeling, and him as well. We both tend to hold our feelings in so we don't want to bother the other person. That doesn't always work haha, so long talks definitely help us.
We tend to get our issues out right away, and rarely actually fight. We definitely disagree, and we might have a few spats a week, but we don't let big issues build up. DH is not going to be able to pay attention for a super long conversation, so we try to keep our check-ins short and frequent (every couple of days).
They're really important for us. A good, long conversation for us could be about a lot of things... feelings or frustrations at hand, hopes for the future, life experiences, outlooks on faith and politics and what it all means for us as people. Sometimes long talks clear the air and get us back on the same page after an off week, and sometimes they're just fun over a glass of wine and sometimes they're intellectually challenging, which is nice. When we don't have time to talk, we can both get a little grumpy.
They're pretty important. We don't usually have time to talk which is a bummer though. By the time the little one is in bed we are too and we're pretty sleepy so we fall asleep before our heads hit the pillow.
we've been together so long that we're pretty good at dealing with the pressing issues by phone or text, or over the kids--the bigger conversations are the touchier ones where big decisions need to be made. The long talk all night convos happened early in the relationship, not so much now
“Think twice before you speak, because your words and influence will plant the seed of either success or failure in the mind of another.” – Napoleon Hill
“I think that the best thing we can do for our children is to allow them to do things for themselves, allow them to be strong, allow them to experience life on their own terms, allow them to take the subway...let them be better people, let them believe more in themselves.”
“Motherhood is a choice you make everyday, to put someone else's happiness and well-being ahead of your own, to teach the hard lessons, to do the right thing even when you're not sure what the right thing is...and to forgive yourself, over and over again, for doing everything wrong.”
I'm with Kayla...they can be about anything and they happen relatively frequently. A lot of the time, we'll hop in the car, pick a spot within a few hours on the gps and head there and chat on the way there and back. I love those times
Yeah, I can tell you without blinking an eye that all this changed when we had a kid. We used to have the long chats about whatever. That's how you get to know one another and build intimacy.
But once there's a kid in the mix and time which was already precious becomes almost non-existent and the pressures of day to day life change - that's when our chats changed too.
I think they are important. I do agree with Kayla, but also Becky.. Since throwing kids in the mix the long converstations are far and in between unless we have serious pressing issues which are rare. WE do try to do date night twice a month. Although even then we try not to use that time to discuss serious issues related to children or home life. We like to use that time to simply enjoy one another.
They're not high on the priority list, we do talk and get things out and spend some time together, but we're both too tired and have too many kids to have the time to spend hours talking.
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