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Hi all. ive posted here before a few times.. and im sorry to post hear but i dunno where to go. i dont want to bash my family or friends ears so its hard.
ive been with dh for 8yrs.. we have 4 kids under 7. weve had alot of problems in our relationship and to be honest i dont know how were still together.
dh has cheated in the past.. I hardly bring ti up unless if were in a argument and that comes up. its really messed me up. i have tried to hide it for years but now i dont..
see at the moment my problem is dh works afternoons to 10:30 at night comes home sits on the computer for a hour or 2.. we go to bed.. get up i take kids to school come home hes gone to hang out at his mates work shop to help him. his friend will pay him time to time but hes gones months no pay.. its basically a place to hang out.. so the kids will see dh for 15mins in the after noon. i see him for 1-2 on the computer by 1230 my eyes are hanging out my head.. but thats the only time i get to see him unless if i stop in to see him at work shop..
Now im just lonely and getting bitter.. I have to winge and wine to get him to come home or for us to do something.. I do practically everything for the kids and get no break.
he makes out hes got it bad but he doesnt have to help his mate.. he chooses to. I ask him every day to come home early to see kids.. he gets back 20 mins before hes got to work..
ive explained im lonely and i want time with him.. i want the kids to have time with him but he doesnt care... just says all i do is winge and carry on.. but i only do it because im unhappy and he doesnt listen to anything i say..
3 months ago I decided we where better off apart.. because we both clearly want different things.. I want more of a family life.. i want someone that wants to teach his kids things.. and I want to be loved.. i want to be able to get kisses and cuddles to snuggle..
But dh got really upset said hed do this and do that.. that he loves me.. loves the kids and wants to be with me the rest of his life..
3 months later that alll soon goes out the window.. i will say he tried for a couple of weeks. the only time its good if we go away on a holiday.
everytime i talk to him we just end up in a argument... because im a winger and ask for to much..
we do end up talking but all id forgotten about what ive said to him.. next day his back at his mates..
i dunno what to do.. i dont want to give up on owr relationship but im the only one fighting for it..
i want to spend time with him.. but he will never come home and want to do anything with me..
I'm sorry you are having such a hard time. Sometimes a little bit of marriage counseling can be helpful when a couple is having a hard time communicating with each other. It's easy to get angry and lose track of what is important.
I'm sorry that you are feeling so lonely. Every marriage goes through hard times once in a while. It can be hard when you feel like the only one working at it....but keep in mind if you feel bitterness it will only hurt you. I hope you two can work through this tough time....and that he will make the special time for you that you deserve.
Trisha--proud stay at home mommy and wife.