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I agree that it depends on your definition of submissive. I've learned that people use this term in many different ways. I believe that the wife should allow the husband to be the decision maker. When you are married to the right person, being submissive isn't an issue because the trust, loyalty and communication is there. When you are married to the right person, the husband will not have a "I'm the king, you are nobody - what I say, goes" mentality...therefore being submissive wouldn't be an insult to the women. When you are married to the right person, when he has an idea, he'll run it past you just to hear your thoughts; however, the final decision is his. He is the leader of the home. If you are NOT married to a person that you can trust to lead your home, then, I believe being submissive would be an insult/threat/hard thing to do. Remember, submission (used in the correct format) doesn't mean that you tuck your tail all day and he sits on a throne and yells out decisions and demands. It just means that you allow the man to lead the home and you are supportive of his decisions.
So, at the end of the day, it depends on the definition of submissive...and who you are married to!
Without going into great detail and explanation, I think 'submissive' is a loaded word, and the idea behind it can vary a lot depending on the couple in question.
We're equals within our marriage. There are some things that I'll 'submit' or yield to dh on, typically things that he's more knowledgeable about than I am. There are also things that dh will 'submit' or yield to me on. It's not a weird domination, one person is more important than the other thing. It's a trust thing.
I agree the definition of "submission" would help clarify. Regardless, I know more about some things (e.g. budgeting) but DH knows more about other things (e.g. cars). He lets me do all the finances, and I let him do all the maintenance on the cars. There's lots of give and take.
DS1: C 8/12/2012
DS2: L 3/30/2014
Surprise baby! due 3/27/2017
Agree, the use of the term for this situation is to varied. For example, for the most part im pretty submissive in the relationship. I do most of the house work and such. DH makes the money and i am stay at home right now. But it doesnt really bother me as there have been times where HE stays at home and I work..
I believe that everyone should have equal power in a relationship, but I think there are lots of ways of working that out. In our house, I take the lead in things in which I am stronger, and I let Rob take the lead in the areas where he is stronger. If I disagree with him, I say so, and I don't back down until I am satisfied that we have reached a fair compromise (or I've realized that I am wrong, lol).
Is there a difference between being submissive to your husband or submitting to your husband? One is a general state of being where and the other would apply to certain instances.
I am definetly not a submissive person, but there are times where I may not wholeheartedly agree with dh's choice or decision but have let him take the lead. That said, he would not do anything that I really did not want him to do. I don't know if that's submissive though, or just respecting the other person.
Submission certainly has a very negative and weak connotation to it.