Log In Sign Up

Ideas for fostering communication


Forum: Married Life

Notices

Welcome to the JustMommies Message Boards.

We pride ourselves on having the friendliest and most welcoming forums for moms and moms to be! Please take a moment and register for free so you can be a part of our growing community of mothers. If you have any problems registering please drop an email to boards@justmommies.com.

Our community is moderated by our moderation team so you won't see spam or offensive messages posted on our forums. Each of our message boards is hosted by JustMommies hosts, whose names are listed at the top each board. We hope you find our message boards friendly, helpful, and fun to be on!

Reply Post New Topic
  Subscribe To Married Life LinkBack Topic Tools Search this Topic Display Modes
  #1  
October 18th, 2006, 09:36 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 3,496
Are there ways you just *know* work with your spouse when it comes to communication? For example, certain ways of phrasing things that are bothering you, certain signs that they need space before talking, etcetc?

Can you share some of your strategies here for other couples?
__________________
taking jm breaks if you don't see me around much
Reply With Quote
  #2  
October 18th, 2006, 11:19 AM
*Valerie*'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: VA
Posts: 50,688
The two of us are horrible about reading each other sometimes, so I will usually give him awhile to see if there are changes, and then I just ask. By giving him a little while, he can work through some things in his mind and we don't argue--if I confront him immediately, huge blowups! He generally does the same with me. It allows both of us to get thoughts together, calm down (if we are very angry or upset) and then we are more level headed
__________________
♥Thanks you jaidynsmum for my awesome siggy ♥

Reply With Quote
  #3  
October 18th, 2006, 11:31 AM
mrobinson
Guest
Posts: n/a
Quote:
Are there ways you just *know* work with your spouse when it comes to communication? For example, certain ways of phrasing things that are bothering you, certain signs that they need space before talking, etcetc?

Can you share some of your strategies here for other couples?[/b]
Yes.. when DH goes very silent.. when he has only short answers.. when he gets annoyed really easy ~ something is very wrong.
Reply With Quote
  #4  
October 18th, 2006, 12:46 PM
MinnesotaMommy
Guest
Posts: n/a
We seem to clear up our problems, while talking about them in bed when its dark and were cuddling. (And non of what your thinking either)
Reply With Quote
  #5  
October 18th, 2006, 12:55 PM
ProudMomof2Boys416's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Rochester, NY
Posts: 7,713
Send a message via AIM to ProudMomof2Boys416 Send a message via Yahoo to ProudMomof2Boys416
We have a VERY hard time communicating. It's not a very strong subject for us. He's the type that hates to talk and doesn't like to express his feelings so I never know if he's mad or sad or anything. Whenever I'm mad, he can usually tell because I get silent until I get to the point where I start arguing . Even when I'm silent, he doesn't seem to make a move to solve it. Usually a few hours later, I'll mention it to him and he'll be like "I knew you were mad, I just thought I'd drop it"....which is what I hate most!.

I think the best thing to do is talk . Even if it's hard at first, talking always helps because you can get out what you feel
__________________

Aiden John
January 4, 2007
12:05pm
8lbs 11oz 21.25 Inches
Caleb Michael
February 16, 2009
10:31am
9lbs 5oz 21 Inches

Reply With Quote
  #6  
October 18th, 2006, 05:10 PM
ERICKA77's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Mother Earth
Posts: 13,346
We've learned to read each other these 10 years. And it has taken years to do that...He knows when I have the look and I get silent. I can tell by the look in his eyes. We started using the 5 minute rule. We can't be mad for more than 5 minutes. We've been through some hard times, and we're both tired of negative feelings. So we try not to argue or get mad as much. The 5 minute rule actually works with us. We've had enough fighting and arguing and silent treatments over the years to last a life time. We haven't been that way for 2 years now.
We used to not communicate. Then things got crazy. So eventually we taught ourselves how..lol..Now we talk everythign out. If we get irritated, we sit down and say why. Honestly sometimes he is more willing to talk things out more than I am. If I don't wanna talk, I don't wanna talk. I get mad and irritated more than he does.
__________________


Reply With Quote
  #7  
October 18th, 2006, 05:36 PM
quietsong's Avatar Just Another Slacker Mom
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Missouri
Posts: 42,367
Send a message via MSN to quietsong
It takes time, but we have slowly learned to read each other's signals. And we still aren't always that great at it! The biggest tip I can give anyone is, when you're upset or angry, walk away and take however long you need to to compose yourself before you talk it out. Having a clear mind, getting past the initial anger, and having just that little time to reflect gives me other perspectives and keeps us from butting heads. We are both very stubborn people, so it's easy to get deadlocked if we don't calm down first!
__________________



Visit My Blog, and come join me at the JM Blogs!
Thank you Jaidynsmum for the siggy!
Reply With Quote
Reply

Topic Tools Search this Topic
Search this Topic:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 09:57 AM.



Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0