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Separate lives to lives together


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  #1  
October 18th, 2006, 03:43 PM
CTK3989's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I am not married and I was wondering how did you and your SO go from dating and have separate lives to "being together"? I hope that makes sense. I mean, how did you stop thinking of doing everything yourself and thinking about yourself to thinking and doing everything with someone else, with a partner? My boyfriend and I just broke up and we plan on getting back together but I have my next 4 years planned out, how do I include him in that? Thanks in advance!


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  #2  
October 18th, 2006, 04:08 PM
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My husband and I were inseperable once we met I don't really know how to tell you to incorporate everything, our seperate lives just melted together and became our life. We both new when we met that we were meant to be together, and it really didn't take much change except moving in together. When we met I had my own apartment and he was renting a house with a college buddy. After about a month and half of him being at my apartment every night, we just decided it was time for him to move in. So he moved into my place and we decided to build our first house not shortly after that. It all just worked itself out..I'm not sure if that helps you, but I wish you lots of luck with your boyfriend
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  #3  
October 18th, 2006, 04:23 PM
CTK3989's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Thanks!
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  #4  
October 18th, 2006, 04:48 PM
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Quote:
how did you stop thinking of doing everything yourself and thinking about yourself to thinking and doing everything with someone else, with a partner?[/b]
It was what we wanted to do. From the time we met, we've been inseparable. We didn't have to "start" thinking about each other and taking each others feelings into consideration, it's what we did from the moment we met each other.
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  #5  
October 18th, 2006, 04:53 PM
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Before we moved in together, DH was practically staying over at my place. So, I guess for me, I just gradually got used to the fact that we were doing things together, rather than alone.

I'm sure you will be fine, and it'll happen when you least expect it... probably not even noticing the change has already occured
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  #6  
October 18th, 2006, 05:28 PM
CTK3989's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Thanks for your help ladies! Seeing that I have the next 4 years planned out, we don't even plan on going to the same college or anything. I don't know how to make this work. We don't have time to spend together right now.


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  #7  
October 18th, 2006, 06:18 PM
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When you've got distance involved, it takes a lot of work. DH and I started out as a long distance couple, we "booked" one weekend a month that we visited and it was all together time. We went from that to moved in together due to circumstances (I moved from Canada to the US, so I couldn't work and have my own place right away) but somehow it just ... clicked. Our lifestyles fit together well, but we are both independent enough that we are fine if we just need to go do our own thing sometimes.

It does just sort of happen though before you even notice it. Ours was a lot more drastic than the other ladies here, so the first few weeks were like, "YAY! Together!" and it faded into a content togetherness.
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  #8  
October 18th, 2006, 06:53 PM
CTK3989's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Thanks for answering quietsong. I hope it all works out between him and I. I will keep trying.


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  #9  
October 18th, 2006, 07:12 PM
ProudMomof2Boys416's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Quote:
It was what we wanted to do. From the time we met, we've been inseparable. We didn't have to "start" thinking about each other and taking each others feelings into consideration, it's what we did from the moment we met each other[/b]


Sounds like us!. We met and moved into together right away , so it just sort of......happened. Hope everything works out for you
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  #10  
October 19th, 2006, 03:57 AM
Gina1978's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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My husband and I went on our first date on march the 14th 1998..one week later we were living together and on August the 1st of that same year (5 months later) we were married
When you find the right person,things just sort of work out on their own and everything comes super naturally.
Once you meant that special someone,you dont think of your self anymore..suddenly "you" becomes "us",it just happens
If you and your BF are really meant to be,then those 4 years you have planned wont have to change,you will naturally just include him in those plans kwim?
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  #11  
October 19th, 2006, 05:29 AM
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Thanks for your advice ladies!!
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  #12  
October 19th, 2006, 07:35 AM
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For us it just happened.. We started to spending day and night together from week 2.. And it all just clicked
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  #13  
October 19th, 2006, 09:08 AM
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to tell you the truth, we just meshed form day one. We had the same goals and that just made it easy. Neither of us needed to go through that " I need to party " stage so that really helped
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  #14  
October 19th, 2006, 11:57 AM
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While we were dating, we went on vacation and when we got back he decided he wanted another dog. We went to the breader he got his other dog from and we picked out a puppy. He asked if I would stay with her while she got use to a new place, so I agreed. From that day on I just ended up living there. We never discussed living together, it just kind of happened.
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  #15  
October 19th, 2006, 02:14 PM
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We just did it. I mean, we met in college where we were basically doing the same things. Then after we graduated the goal was to get full time jobs and move in together by the time summer was over. We did that. The rest just came... we had our own lives as far as work and some alone time with friends and even our alone time by ourselves but then we also shared the responsibility of bills and pets and running a household. We of course also made time for each other and spent a lot of time hanging out and doing whatever together. Somehow it just works.
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  #16  
October 19th, 2006, 03:21 PM
CTK3989's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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See, you ladies are older than me and met your SO's usually in college or when you were older and had more freedom. We are seniors in high scohol with a baby on the way and he is so busy with after-school activities that we don't ever see each other. So, right now we are not together and we are taking it slow I guess.

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