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Am I a Horrible Mom?


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  #1  
December 10th, 2011, 10:54 PM
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Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 53
I have an 8 month old son, and I am a night owl...meaning I get most of my house work done at night when I have energy (which I never have). I am having a hard time making myself go to bed at a decent hour. I, in part, feel like it is good alone time to get my stuff done without being interrupted, and also am up late at night with anxiety (I am on Lexapro, but I think I need a dose increase). It is a hard habit to break, but I am comforted by being up late and falling asleep with the tv on because it helps my mind to focus on something aside from what causes my anxiety. ANYWAYS, my son has put himself on a great sleep schedule. He is an easy baby that goes to bed at a time that works for our family and doesn't wake up too early. However, I end up getting broken sleep and not many hours by the time he wakes up. I end up, just about every morning for the last month or so, strapping him into his bouncer seat next to the couch so that he can watch Sprout or Nick Jr. as I fall back asleep on the couch next to him. He loves tv, and is content for up to 2 hours sometimes as I am in and out of sleep. I feel guilty letting him set there knowing that when my child is up, I should be up, but I just can't help to take advantage of the time he is content with watching tv in his bouncer. Does this sound horrible to you?
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  #2  
December 12th, 2011, 09:24 AM
OatmealKisses's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 1,430
I think almost everyone has been there at some point.
My son has colic and was waking up 10-20 times a night and screaming for hours every day, until about a week ago. If I didn't put him in something to sleep even a little bit, I would not make it. There was NO way he would ever yet me sleep more than 20 minutes though. 2 hours would have been heaven!
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  #3  
December 12th, 2011, 10:21 AM
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Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 53
I'm sorry to hear that, that's horrible to deal with. I realize I'm lucky, and that's why I feel so bad...like why can't I just make myself go to bed at a normal hour for my son's sake. It's such a hard habit to break as I've been this way my whole life. I feel like I'm being selfish and I hope it's a phase I'll grow out of soon. My son was delivered vaginally and needed vacuum assistance, so he developed a subgaleal hematoma. He became critically jaundice and was in and out of the NICU the first week of his life. I had to breastfeed him around the clock and am always paranoid about his health. Now that he's getting older and things have settled down, I am starting to relax and I'm worried I'm becoming too relaxed.
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  #4  
December 12th, 2011, 11:34 AM
shawnamarie1977's Avatar Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Canada
Posts: 18
Try not to worry too much. If he's happy and healthy and you are interacting with him throughout the rest of the day then I don't think it's going to hurt him. I also have trouble getting to sleep and am often up until after midnight, and always feel tired in the mornings. Sometimes I just lay on the floor with Morgan (9 months) and watch her play. She knows I'm there and she's happy.

PS I'm on meds too for anxiety and depression so I know what you're going through. And I understand feeling guilty, I feel guilty if I put her in her highchair while I clean the kitchen.

I would say go back to your doctor about the anxiety, see what can be done to help you feel a bit better. Then you may sleep better, and have more energy. Worth a try....
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  #5  
December 12th, 2011, 02:40 PM
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Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 53
I will be going to the doctor this week, finally. We moved to Florida a few months ago and since I am a stay at home mom and my boyfriend and I are not married, I have not been able to get health insurance. My mother finally was able to put me on hers, so I will be seeing a physician and talking to her about seeing a therapist as well. It's easy to say, but I don't think you should feel guilty about leaving your daughter in the highchair while you clean. I like to do that with my son, it includes him and he enjoys watching me. I like to give him pan lids to bang together, and I'll give him a spoon (under supervision) to use as a drumstick sometimes.
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  #6  
March 2nd, 2012, 05:30 AM
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Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 28
That's a very good decision. You should try to change your routine. It is bad for own health that you have disturbed sleep and abnormal sleep timings. If you don't have the energy to handle your baby and home you will end up getting exhausted and frustrated which will great a bad environment for yourself and the baby.
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  #7  
March 16th, 2012, 10:18 PM
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Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 672
I am the same way at night! I love the alone time plus my hubby gets home from work at 11pm and I like taking the time to spend with him. I don't think you're being a horrible mom at all! As long as he's content I think it's fine to go for a snooze (assuming he can't get out and get into trouble).
What helps me is napping with him during the day. Usually he goes down for a 2 hour nap in the morning which I completely take advantage of and snooze with him Even if they're just short cat naps try and get your sleep in when you can.
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  #8  
March 17th, 2012, 04:11 PM
Preston2011's Avatar Member
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Posts: 40
dont feel bad I do the same thing, I dont go to bed until 2-3am and I feel awful in the morning my son has been watching disney channel every morning since he was born, I have insomnia i lay in bed for hours get up lay back down get back up its hard sometimes im a single mom at the moment so im on call 24/7 with no help i would cry if i didnt have the disney channel lol
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  #9  
March 18th, 2012, 07:42 AM
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Join Date: Nov 2011
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sometimes I feel like a single mother, my boyfriend works alot and nights so he is sleeping during the day and then gets up to go to work. things are getting better now, I am getting more energy and trying to make myself sleep at night and get up in the morning.
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  #10  
March 18th, 2012, 08:33 AM
Preston2011's Avatar Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 40
thats good hope you figure out a schedule that works for you
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  #11  
May 9th, 2012, 08:41 PM
FelneMuse's Avatar Member
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Location: Oklahoma
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[QUOTE=newmommyof1;25773539]sometimes I feel like a single mother, my boyfriend works alot and nights so he is sleeping during the day and then gets up to go to work. QUOTE]

That sounds familiar. Most of the time I feel that, since I'm staying home while my SO's working, I shouldn't ask him to take the baby. Then I start thinking, it's his baby, too. I've got the baby seven days a week, 24 hours a day. He gets two days off PER WEEk. So I should be able to go out every once in a while. Hard to leave her, though. I just worry the whole time if she's distraught without me.
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