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  #1  
January 6th, 2009, 09:15 PM
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So, first off this journal may include a bit of TMI because i want to document my journey accurately. So after the wedding (10/4) and even before, obviously, we discussed when we were going to TTC. Dh wanted to hold out for the typical year like everyone always says they "should" do. Well... i of course wanted to start right away. We decided once i got a job we would start since needing abit of additional income is the biggest reason we were waiting, in the mean time i was going to start charting CM and all that. I had AF right before the wedding (and thank god for that, lol!) beginning apprx Sept 22nd. I should stop here and explain that i have ALWAYS had weird cycles except for a year (august o6-august o7) when i was on the pill. When i moved to Va there is no planned parenthood here where i was going and i had no insurance so off the pill i went. Anyway lets continue... Af came and went as normal and my next cycle began November 10th. This is about when i joined the board and started reading up on what i should do. I had what i thought was EWCM right before (and up through) Thanksgiving. I mean, it was super wet, so much that at times it felt like i had af going on in there kwim? I started thinking, ha maybe this will be easier then i thought... this is clearly CM i should be able to figure this out great by January when its time to start TTC. Well, right after my mom left from visiting for Thanksgiving dh decided we were going to forgo the condoms but he would, uh, "finish" elsewhere. Yes i know the "pull out" method is not effective as bc so i guess you could consider us "half" trying at this point. So dh and i were dtd 12/8 and he decided to go for it (without telling me before hand, what a surprise eh?). I figured since i thought i had ewcm way earlier that i was obviously way past O date and had no chance this time but next cycle would be our official start. We continued DTD without and protection since, expecting (and hoping) af would be normal and come 12/10ish (or at least by x mas) i thought i should take a test because i was going to be drinking around the holidays. Took one i think the 18th and it was bfn. Took another 12/27ish and another bfn, its now 1/6 and still no af.

Sigh, i am so frustrated and confused right now. First off i thought i had ewcm on cd 14, so i expected my o date to be way over by 12/8 when we bd'ed. Well i was doing some looking around online on a due date calculator thing and i put in my last cd1, and 45 day average for my cycles (because thats the highest those things let you go up too, but i do have some average cycles also so honestly it probably is in the 40-45 day range). A 40 day average cycle it says estimated conception was 12/6 and 45 day cycle estimated conception is 12/11.... both dates within the range we bd'ed. Don't get me wrong, i in no way think i am pregnant nor do i feel at ALL pregnant but i was just surprised by that information since i thought i had figured out i o'd around Thanksgiving. Can't help but wonder though... if i did concieve in that range then even taking a test after x mas wouldnt only be about two weeks past O, and i used digital tests arent those less sensitive? Idk, like i said i'm actually hoping i'm NOT pregnant at this point because i want a late fall baby but its all so confusing. Plus, the edd would be around the end of august or early sept. Well my dad, who passed away January 10th of last year's birthday was September 1st. How crazy would that be if i got a bfp on the anniversary of his death (i think i might test again JUST in case this weekend) and was due on his birthday? Yeah that might just be too much to handle!

The most annoying thing of this whole mess is i cant decide if i am imagining syptoms of AF coming. I thought i was crampy (pretty much my only sign af is coming, sometimes slight boob pain) 12.10 then i thought i was crampy again right before x mas... no af. I've been crampy the last few days and last night the boobies really hurt, i really really feel like its on its way this time so like i said if AF doesnt show by Sat i think i might test again? I'm kind of hoping writing all this will force AF to come. Like i'll be able to come back in the next few days and say "okay nope no baby but yay i get to officially start now!"

I am so frustrated with AF right now like i sort of feel like it not showing is a sign that its not the right time to TTC. This is my longest cycle ever and why would my body choose to do this NOW? Blah, stupid body!
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  #2  
January 9th, 2009, 01:23 PM
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Alright i decided to test today and it was negative (as i expected) so idk, i guess my body just decided it doesnt want to have a period at all in Dec for no reason. Tomorrow will two months since i've had af, i'm so annoyed right now.
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  #3  
January 12th, 2009, 04:30 PM
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Af finally came today, YAY! Oddly enough i am excited... new fresh start and now here we go! I also have an interview on Wednesday which i am beyond excited about because part of our hesitation with TTC is money. A job would be awesome for us right now! Everything seems to be going in the right direction
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  #4  
January 16th, 2009, 06:57 PM
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Glad that everything is working out so well for year...hope your next cycle isn't as long as this one was!!
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  #5  
January 17th, 2009, 08:27 AM
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I understand your excitement about AF starting...I was supposed to start on Monday, took a test... and didn't start till yesterday...so it's nice to have that fresh start....new month...more fun!!
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  #6  
January 17th, 2009, 04:24 PM
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Definately once you get that bfn its like okay now af needs to instantly show up so we can try again! Now its over and its time to wait for "O" day! I have no idea when that will be of course, this is my first cycle trying to figure this all out but i think dh and i will just try to bd alot (darn that'll be rough, lol) or as much as we can since dh just started working nights. I'de like for it to happen this cycle but i'm not getting hopes up quite yet since i'm still trying to figure it all out We shall see!
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  #7  
January 20th, 2009, 12:08 PM
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I'm also going to use this as a (hopefully) weight loss journal so here i go with that. When i met DH i weight about 125lbs, at 5'8 technically i believe that was underweight, but reguardless i liked how i look. In the past three years i've gained 25lbs in basically, only my tummy and chest! I dont mind the chest, but the tummy is not cute... i look like i have leftover baby belly and i have no babies! I have kind of a weird frame, typical "hour glass" but i have super skinny arms and legs so to look proportional my middle needs to slim back down. I'm fairly used to being this size at this point in daily life but whenever it comes time to see myself in old photos i think oh gosh how did i not realize i was gaining 25lbs? I guess you dont realize it while its happening! Anyway we're going to FL in March with some friends and i want to feel good about wearing a swimsuit in front of people (though it most definately will nto be a bikini either way!). Loosing is hard for me because honestly, i'm pretty lazy and its hard to get motivated when technically, i'm not even overweight but putting the numbers aside i know i am not happy with myself and i'm going to be working hard for the next two months to loose hopefully around 10lbs (more would be great but 10's my goal). At that point i'll evaluate just how much i want to loose overall, i'm not sure that i need to go all the way back down to where i was because i was just a stick then with no muscle tone so i'm sure all in all the "numbers" will end up pretty different then they were before. Plus i know its better to be in shape before you get pregnant and even working out while being pregnant has proved beneficial for many so getting in the workout and eating well habit is still a good idea even if i do get pregnant in the next few cycles.

Yesterday i started the Special K diet. I'm not a big fan of diets because i dont like to deprive myself of the foods i like i would rather learn to eat better portions but, this diets not that bad because you still get to eat "regular" dinner. Basically the only thing that is diffrent from peoples usual eating schedules is you cut out lunch and replace it with a lunch bar. People don't stick to diets forever which is also why i dont like them... they always gain back when they go back to regular food, but, like i said your not loosing regular food completly so in a sense this is just a small adjustment

Yesterday i ate
11 am - cereal bar
5pm - dinner... self created stir fry type meal with rice, broccoli and chicken with a marinara sauce
11pm - cereal bar

Today
11am - cereal bar
5pm - dinner will possibly be leftovers or maybe beef tips and mashed potatoes i am not sure yet

I'll update what i end up eating later... ill eat cereal tonight instead of another cereal bar because that is what you're "supposed" to do.

Exercise wise i've been doing the wii fit with fairly consistant results for the last couple of months... but ill do good then ill get off track. I lost about 3lbs before x mas but then i got it all back when i didnt do anything for a couple of weeks. Sigh, i've been on sporatically but havent had consistant loss because i havent been doing it regularly. Well i started doing it regularly again yesterday, put in an hour and felt good after, the situps sucked because like i said thats my "problem" area so thats to be expected. I'm going to work out at least days a week if not more... dh said if i get the biggest loser yoga dvd he'll do it with me so that will help to not be alone. So maybe ill do Wii on nights he works and BL on nights he's home (he works nights).

Alright well this is super long and i think thats it!
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  #8  
January 21st, 2009, 06:32 PM
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Couple of updates, i went to the doc today for the first time... got some prenatals and ill go back for a Pap on the 11th (oh joy). I'm NOT excited.

Diet goes good so far. I have to assume its working because i'm constantly feeling hungry. I'de have to hop on the wii to be sure but i weighed about a pound less then i usually do at the doctor, plus i was fully dressed including shoes so i imagine that wasn't a totally accurate weigh since i usually weigh in light clothes and no shoes. I'm no expecting miracles from this diet though so we will see.

Day two i ate...
meal 1 - cereal bar
meal 2 - beef tips, mashed potatoes and broccoli
meal 3 - cereal bar

Day three i ate...
meal 1 - cereal bar
meal 2 - kilbasi and mac n cheese
meal 3 - (havent yet but i will eat this probably around 11 or 12) cereal, havent decided if ill have milk but if i do it'll be skim so i dont know if that will matter.
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  #9  
January 22nd, 2009, 10:02 AM
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Day four i splurged a bit and my "regular food" meal was sonic for an early lunch. Thats bad i know but i enjoy the occasional fast food and as i said before i'm not going to cut out something i like for a diet when i know i will go back to eating it after the diet is over. So i'll just follow the plan for the rest of the day and hope it doesnt screw up my progress that much.

Yesterday dh and i did Biggest Losers cardio yoga and it was super hard, some of the stuff i couldnt do. Yoga is not something that comes easy to me as i'm not that flexible or stable when trying to do the poses, but i liked the yoga on wii fit and dh suggested this so its something we're going to try to do a lot, i could be wrong but this one seems a lot harder then typical yoga i've seen in the past. We'll probably do it again tonight. After, i got on the wii to weigh and i weighed about a pound and a half less then i weighed the last time i weighed (Monday night). So i guess that is good, hopefully the Sonic today wont undo too much of my work so far.

On the TTC front i'm on cd 11. I had what i thought was ewcm starting on cd 14 last time so i will start to keep an eye out for that. I've said this before but seeing as how last cycle ended up being 63 days i'm not sure that i actually o'd then, maybe i mis interpreted what ewcm was but i'll keep an eye out just in case. In the mean time i'll just keep eating better, workin out a bding!
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  #10  
January 23rd, 2009, 07:36 PM
fromustobaby's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Cardio yoga sounds really cool!! Was it just a dvd, or was it with the wii??

Good luck with the O...I know exactly what you mean about the super long cycles...they stink!
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  #11  
January 23rd, 2009, 08:01 PM
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Its a dvd, the biggest loser cardio yoga is what its called i got it at Target, O and dont get confused like i did if you try to get it its not with the regular dvds its in the fitness aisle
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  #12  
January 27th, 2009, 03:58 PM
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Diet is going good... cheated slightly yesterday and had two "regular" meals. Dh decided he was going to make me breakfast in bed (even broke out the nice china to serve it on!) but other then that i've been doing what i'm supposed too. Wii'd the other night and there was no loss but no gain, i guess thats good. DH and i will Biggest Loser yoga tonight.

TTC - nothing to report, cd 16 and i think ewcm is starting up, there was a tiny bit today and ill know for sure tomorrow i guess.
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  #13  
January 27th, 2009, 06:52 PM
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Quote:
Diet is going good... cheated slightly yesterday and had two "regular" meals. Dh decided he was going to make me breakfast in bed (even broke out the nice china to serve it on!) but other then that i've been doing what i'm supposed too. Wii'd the other night and there was no loss but no gain, i guess thats good. DH and i will Biggest Loser yoga tonight.

TTC - nothing to report, cd 16 and i think ewcm is starting up, there was a tiny bit today and ill know for sure tomorrow i guess.[/b]
Breakfast in bed is NOT a cheat - it is a luxury!! What a sweet DH you have
Congrats on the EWCM...sending some O-dust your way - GL and have fun!!
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  #14  
January 28th, 2009, 09:26 AM
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OOOOOOH, biggest loser yoga sounds so fun! Good luck Oing!!
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  #15  
January 28th, 2009, 04:22 PM
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Good luck this cycle.
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  #16  
January 30th, 2009, 01:51 PM
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Thanks!

So, I just noticed something i completely didnt realize before... apparently i tracked my cycles for just about all of 2005 (for the opposite reason as i am now though). With those calculated in it says my average cycle is 36 days... so would you go with recent cycles only for figuring our your averages or should i take those into account too? Counting my last few (starting about August 08) makes my average way higher at at least 43 days but like i said with those it takes me way down to 36... Hm, i guess this doesnt really matter in the long run i'm just curious because whenever i do little online calculator things for either ovulation or my edd i've been putting 45 day cycles. Hmmm so that would mean if i did get pregnant this cycle my edd would be in October not November like i thought.

On the weight loss front, i fit in a skirt i didnt fit in over the summer.. woo! Still snug but before i couldnt even get it buttoned so.
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  #17  
January 30th, 2009, 03:52 PM
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Quote:
Thanks!

So, I just noticed something i completely didnt realize before... apparently i tracked my cycles for just about all of 2005 (for the opposite reason as i am now though). With those calculated in it says my average cycle is 36 days... so would you go with recent cycles only for figuring our your averages or should i take those into account too? Counting my last few (starting about August 08) makes my average way higher at at least 43 days but like i said with those it takes me way down to 36... Hm, i guess this doesnt really matter in the long run i'm just curious because whenever i do little online calculator things for either ovulation or my edd i've been putting 45 day cycles. Hmmm so that would mean if i did get pregnant this cycle my edd would be in October not November like i thought.

On the weight loss front, i fit in a skirt i didnt fit in over the summer.. woo! Still snug but before i couldnt even get it buttoned so.[/b]
I dont' really know about the cycle stuff...but way to go on the skirt...woohoo!!
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  #18  
February 2nd, 2009, 01:37 PM
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SHOOT! I've been trying to bd at least every other day since i dont know when i o (i'm on cd 22 with longer cycles so i think i'm probably getting close to O if i havent already), last time was Saturday but for some reason, even though we paid our bill they decided to turn off our water! Which means if we bd we can't take a shower after. Normally i wouldnt be so hell bent on taking a shower right after but Dh has to leave for work at 6 so if it doesnt get back on soon then i guess we'll be missing today
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  #19  
February 2nd, 2009, 01:43 PM
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That really stinks! I hope it works out and your water gets turned back on soon!!
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  #20  
February 2nd, 2009, 02:13 PM
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Yeah we called and they were like "oh yes our mistake sorry" and they said they'll get it back on "sometime today". Sigh. I cant even make dinner! Lol.
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